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angelak: (Eye)
This week has been restorative time spent at 874 and with Jimmers. Last week at work I was highly motivated. This week has been harder. I just want to leave town. Now.

It's freezing. I don't like the cold. I went shopping for long sleeved shirts, because apparently the ones I had have vanished into the abyss of my house. Layering is my new thing, because it's getting cold out, and I feel that I have been freezing for days. Ross provided some low cost options for me. Pretty much outfitted for winter now, thank goodness. Some of the stuff will work for the Spring, once we make it through the stupid months here.

I have become stripey girl due to the striped shirts all over Ross. I better balance it out with some other shirts later or I will become very bored.

It feels great to still have my life and dog home and routine in 874. The Dachshunds appreciate it. I appreciate it too. Especially being alone. Being alone feels so, so good, and so vital. Even if it's for an hour in the morning. Jim goes to work at 430AM. He kisses me goodbye and is gone by the time I get out of bed. I am alone in the house then.
I miss that in Bellevue Home. I need a name for that place, but I haven't for the life of me figured out what it could be. It's actually a good balance if I think about it, none the less.
The Dachshund routine with me in it is very, very comforting.
I say the same thing every morning to them when I am ready to take them out.
They snooze in bed until I am ready to take them out.
The moment I say the magic words to get them moving, they spring into action.
The three of us like our morning routine.
And I always loved my 874 morning routine. Maybe it's because I had 100% control over it.
And that 100% control is important to me.

In other thoughts:
If I get back to my work outs the right way, I will likely feel even better. But the starvation diet made it unappealing to work out, even for me. And now I am lazy. As I have mentioned to Sean though, perhaps this isn't so bad. I re-injured my hamstring doing standing bow in a cold room in rehearsals for Rite of Sol months ago. It has been cranky ever since and I have been holding back on the left side of postures in yoga for months now. Perhaps this resting phase is the best thing I could do for my hamstring. My hope is that when I try again and start using my body in the fitness fashion (I miss it) - my hamstring will have made some healing leaps. I injured it by straining it and stretching in a cold room: March 2012. Then it healed. Then I re-injured it in October 2012. It takes a lot of time for the damn hamstring to chillax. Damn you, hammy. It also kills me in the hot room to have to hold back on it. I know I could progress my standing bow in class if it wasn't so jacked!! My flexibility is there, but the muscle cannot do it without tearing if I am injured.
I suck.
But I know this too, shall pass.
And given my shotty yoga practice of 2013 ...well, *shrugs* I wouldn't be getting any better anyway. Soon, I will be there I guess. Who knows. I'm lost. I trust the right things will happen at the right time. I must.

Back to work, yeah?

-Angela
angelak: (Lauren Graham Perturbed)
4 days to go. )
angelak: (ShadowFax)
A run is on deck after work, but I don't know how I am going to survive. I feel frozen outside today. I think it's like 36F in Issaquah. I forgot to grab gloves, so there is only one glove in my car that I was able to dig up. I'm not sure I want to have one warm hand and one cold one. Brrrr. So cold outside. Feels colder than it did last week - I'm guessing that icy wind doesn't help matters.

The weekend flew by. Saturday we went to Port Townsend, where Grandma Santo lives. This is pretty much a whole day affair. We delivered a puppy to her because one of her two dogs died. Bummer. This was a Sheltie puppy. Very cute little boy and hopefully all goes well with the adjustments.

We then went back home. I chillaxed at home, and then Sunday came. Worked out, did things around the house, and then went to Russian class. Coming along with the learnings. Hopefully when I am done being frozen tonight after work, I will do a major study session and get all my material ready to study for next week. Including a couple of written dialogues of using the 4 different forms of "to go."

Anyways. I'm inching towards my evening workout. In the frigid, frosty cold.
And for fun, I'll go ahead post a picture of me and my other Grandmother.

Бабушка и меня - Grandma and Me. )

As Sasha has mentioned... I've been catching up with family that I haven't seen in years, a lot lately.

-Angela
angelak: (Make a wish)
The weekend was a whirlwind of awesome. It started with the unexpected invitation from Mel to go see Kelsi perform in the UW choir that she is a part of (I didn't even know she was in a choir), on Friday night. Most Friday nights consist of solo things. For the past couple of years, I almost began dreading the boring Friday night. So I immersed myself in Yoga or Running or basketweaving or watching movies, to hide the fact that my social life was dead.

So, Friday was refreshing. Heard the choir sing, got to hang out with Mel. We had coffee and tea after the performance. I found out that while I was away on holiday in California, Kelsi and Shane got a new house rental! So they were moving, and immediately following our visit to the Seattle Center House, I got to see their new home! It's in Milton, which is a ways out, but far better of a place than the Kent townhome they were renting before.

Apparently the owner was selling this shiny Milton home for around $265k, and renting it for a cool $1500. It was hard not to look at the home with it's shiny bedrooms, single-family-home style, and acre of land think... DAMNIT.

My own home is awesome, and we paid $288k for it. It's in ISSAQUAH though. And the state of being that it is, Issaquah is a nice area to live. Location, location, location - is what we pay for. My mom reminded me this weekend that the choices I made about my current home happened with the pressure of my old landlord asking me to leave in 45 days (I had a month to month lease prior). And I am VERY VERY happy for Kelsi and Shane to have a wonderful home. 4 bedrooms, with a den. It's spacious, with pretty stone work and a great awesome deck that has stairs that go down to the yard.

Very, very cool. I was also feeling happy I got to see it right away. The whole thing apparently happened like WHAM bam, so that's cool too.

I have a lot of house thoughts, but for the moment of getting to the weekend updates, that was Friday night! Stayed out super late. Drove home, got up in the morning for my Private Investigator seminar in Seattle with Linda Montgomery. This was an amazing experience, got my certificate so that when I find someone to employ me, I can get my license. (Have to get the certificate, then a license.)

That took up most of Saturday - and at the end of the meeting I went up to Snohomish and spent some evening time with my parents.

Sunday, I slept in, went for a run, and then met up with Jessie to work on self defense moves. We fleshed out our self defense workshop material for the workshops we will be doing soon here. Jessie is an awesome partner with this for me. She has all the great moves, she coaches me, and I have a lot of the finer self defense mindset information and am good at presenting that. We will be the perfect team for this.

After going to the West Seattle community center and using their space to practice on each other, we finally hung out and relaxed. Decided we'll be getting together Wednesday this week to go over more and get some bigger men to practice on.

After that, we went back, met up with Vicki, Roby came over, and then the 4 of us went to dinner. And after that we went to see Harry Potter!!!!! I called up Jim to see if he was interested, and he met us at the theatre. I was sooooo excited to finally see HP, and it was AWESOME to get to see it with my beloveds.

After that, drove home and went to bed.

The weekend was packed. And teh work week feels packed already. We are all lucky I took time out to write an entry, but I have my 2 entries per week quota!!!!

-Angela
angelak: (The Past)
Spent last night at a retirement party of one of Jim's co workers. This was fun.
Today I slept in, (not sure when my 30 day 5AM trial begins, but I know it might be the 15th of January when Mercury goes direct) and lounged around the house. I finally got bored and went for a run. Decided since I felt so lazy, not to be pushing my speed. Turns out I went at what seemed a "slow" pace, and it was the same as my standard pace. Okay, weird.

Sometimes the brain thinks the body is moving slowly...

I am updating before I head out to the 16:30 Bikram class. Had a quick lunch. The weekends have been weird with my eating schedule. Hm, okay~! Mostly due to sleeping in too much and then Bikram classes not wanting to eat too much before class.
Today I risked it, seeing as I would have zero fuel to get through the class if I didn't. Hoping I'm not feeling gross in compression and floor poses with my soup, bread, and banana... hmmm.

:D

I'll let you all know.
:P

So, after I head out, do this (looking forward to it now because I got cold when I came home!) I want to clean house with Jim and stock up on some meal makings for my next week. Br, feelin' cold. My living room is in serious NEED of cleaning. Can't wait to fix up the front room. It will make me happier and I will be ready for a week of great home vegetarian cookin'. Slowly wrapping my head around the label a little more. Was pretty much strongly opposed to the label for the last 4 months. Maybe I'm just accepting to what I'm becoming. I was only listening to my mind-body intuition on this shift. My intellect said, "I love meat!" but beyond my mind was otherwise. Hard to explain. I don't question these things anymore, I just listen.

-Angela
angelak: (Sad)
It would seem I hit a mental wall about 10 days ago.
And then I began thinking my healing was doing much better.
And tonight I had a minor depressive episode.
Well shit. This is confusing.
The last fortnight has been a bit of an emotional tossup.
Trying hard not to let it all go to shit.
Finding it a struggle to stay happy.

Shoot, shoot.
My Yoga practice has been strange.
Okay, I can accept that.
I didn't go tonight - I slept through it.
Jim's observation is that whenever I sleep TOO much, my body is more likely to go into the depressive state. He says it's like it gets angry that I slept TOO much.
I've never heard of anything like this. I think my depression and sleep and diet are all related. (Okay, duh). But I am not too sure that the sleep is just a bi-product of feeling really lousy.
Let's face it - when you're really bummed, it's easier to escape through sleep.

Today I felt like I was avoiding class because it has been such a misery for me. Instead of the usual (mostly) joy. What the fuck?
Reading my last 10-days entries has me thinking my brain and heart are all over the board.
Shit, shit, shit.

Must stay patient. Jim thinks the Yoga has done nothing but good for me, I tend to agree.
We have had our most stable months in our relationship during the Yoga-months. Really.
We've been happiest and most harmonious. I'm not a fool to think it isn't related. It is. And of the two of us, I'm the trouble-maker in the relationship. You know - the moody one.

He is slightly more flexible than me sometimes. But I come close.
Regardless. Instead of being pissy, I've been able to stay calm and collected even when he irritates me. Bonus.

Now if I can only keep myself from skipping classes. Granted, maybe it's okay to take it easy this week. My head and heart are all over the board, after all. It's harder work when life is throwing me all kinds of emo-sludge.

Nothing felt cope-able tonight.
Perhaps next week will show me a little more kindness.
Jim's observation is that the emotional side of this knee trauma is far worse on me than the actual pain. He is often times correct.
The more time I spend with Jim as an integral part of my daily life, the more I find he is just what I need.

On a less angsty note; he is positive, intelligent, hilarious, adorable, kind-hearted, genuine, and at times sensual. Don't take this wrong, but of all of those things, I think sex is my lowest priority. It's not that it's not important to me. It's that sex is fleeting. And all the rest are things I need more frequently.

Sex is often superb, although occasionally I find him a tiny bit more vanilla than me. *shrugs* I'm okay with that - obviously.

The things that are more important:
He makes me laugh all the time.
And being around someone who smiles so much is really refreshing for the soul.

So, while I'm sad right now - I also realize the bounty of my fortune in life.
I have a home that I've worked hard for and love. It's our own. We've made it our own. I accept that clothes on the floor in the bedroom is not the end of the world.

I have 2 dogs that adore me and 1 waiting to become a love-source like the others.
They annoy me to no end, and yet they're so rewarding and know just when I'm at my lowest.
And then they decide to treat me accordingly, by acting as adorable as they know how.

I own a car that I really like.

More than that - I have a really solid family, and friends out there who would probably be there for me more if they knew how, or I made that more possible.

We both have jobs.
We both make enough money to make ends meet and have enough.
Our partnership is laden with straight forward, no-games or passive aggressive communication.
I love that he is a communicator. I love that Jim feels happiest dealing with problems immediately. It is he who makes me realize how long I hold onto crap sometimes before I let loose with it.

I am thankful his perspective on life is so real and so positive.
"Every day someone isn't shooting at me is a good day."
Who can argue with that?
And, once a soldier, always a soldier.

I am thankful that although I may be up 5lbs or so, I haven't gained back the weight I lost in 2007. This IS a feat, considering my 2008 situation.
Right now I appreciate my small waist, and try and ignore my hippy-ness. (As in hips).

I accept that for the most part, I'm not so bad looking. I clean up okay ;)
I am also thankful I changed my lifestyle in 2007.
I will try to remember these things as the knees scream at my soul.
They are not all consuming giant knees of doom.
They shouldn't take over my whole heart.

I am also thankful for my dishwasher. I lived years without one. I love dishwashers. I love not hand washing my dishes. I love how clean and shiny my dishes get in a dishwasher, when by hand I could never get them to be this way.

I love my silent, but present supporters.
And I appreciate my community and everything they've added to my life.
Yes, you pagans.
I adore you all.

Now, I'm really going to let go of this fear and go to Yoga class tomorrow with no judgments on myself. No judgments, no expectations. That will be my mantra. No worries that I skipped class THREE times now in one week. Wow, that is definitely a new record. So what, though.

I will be there in class tomorrow. Ready or not.
One thing I do not take for granted today, is my connection to the kindest man I've known.

-Angela
angelak: (874 B)
Today is known as a day to get a jump on the house work. If I get a lot of it done before Jim wakes up... then when he does wake up to start helping, we'll get even further. My hopes are to clean the entire house (definitely by next weekend) and then plan that house warming party for sometime in the next 1-2 months.

His mom is coming to visit from Portland (kind of a big deal) next weekend.
This means I have clout to demand clean spaces in all floors, this week. And he always helps when I ask.

I'd like to be able to invite others over without having to explain we're slobs, we haven't figured out our laundry issues, and that the “lived in,” look actually pisses me off more than I can express.

(It annoys me because 874 is too nice a place to be cluttered like this if you ask me). All that internal irritation actually draws energy from me in some form. I've learned to let one go on this for the last couple of months to smooth out our relationship a little. Getting irritable about this stuff just doesn't pay off. But, now it's time to take a little more pride in our home and I'm getting closer to that.

What he thinks is “okay,” and “not that bad,” to me, actually is quite bad. :)

That is ok. We find ways to accommodate one another.
And lately I've been so into the Yogacoaster that it hasn't really been something that got in my way. Now his mom is visiting. Now I have a chance to get together and deal with the last of the move-in clutter. For once and for all!!!!!

Now I must stop by the office to do one quick thing to get it off my weekend conscience. I hope it goes quick and I can come home and do more house organizing.

-Angela
angelak: (Make a wish)
The Juicy Stuff. Delve in. )

-Angela
angelak: (JimAngelaKissing)
It will be nice tonight when Jim comes home from drill. It's been an overnight gig.
*Happy Sigh*

That's right. Home. Here.
I hope his first day wasn't as bad as I think it may have been. Because for gods'sake he got up at 3:30AM... (I got up and made coffee because yes, I'm nice.)

Ah well. We shall see, now shan't we? I should also start cleaning the house. I sort of wanted to surprise him with a spiffy uncluttered homespace. Yikes.

And a hike. To ramp up the calorie burning machine. Although... I ate a bunch of chocolate covered macademia nuts (yes nuts!) after a day of not eating crap. Oh well. Haha.

-Angela

Support

Aug. 28th, 2007 05:16 pm
angelak: (I don't need nice)
Unfiltered:
I am thankful for support.
I am thankful for having reasonable people on my side of the fence, even if poop gets dropped on me for being resourceful and doing my homework.

The truth can hurt, and being an asshole will come to light one way or another.
In spite of my stress... I am sure I have achieved something with my hard work and tears.
Now it's a wait and see game.

-Angela

So much

Jul. 31st, 2007 05:35 pm
angelak: (AngelacrazyIcon)
I have so much to post about today. And no time to do it. Not until later tonight - that is.
Good things about the SideA!

-Angela
angelak: (WTF Face Angela)
Blarg.
Now, due to complications (wow, this isn't shocking somehow), I will not be moving until Lughnasadh. August 1st is the "new projected" move in date. They weren't going to say anything, except I stopped in to ask a couple of questions. Including about how much it might cost to get use of the parking space in the middle of my Duplex.

$300.

Yes. You heard it. $300 on top of my low rent. So, low rent would go to normal rent fee for a Duplex unit in the area. He is "asking" but says that most likely the rent would go up $300.
Yes, I said $300 like 50 times already.
The square footage, I might add - is about the same as what I have now. Things are just oriented different. Read: my ginormous single bedroom is split into two bedrooms. The bathroom and utility room are separate, instead of one big expanse of space.

Now, considering this parking space (between the units, covered) will be unoccupied by anyone if I don't use it - it seems an awful damned folly shame. But for $300 - I'll take one of the other spots that are not further out.
How fucking ridiculous.
Is it me or is that ridiculous?

I'm not the happiest tenant right now anyway. They said, quote, "you're in no hurry, are you?" regarding the move out date. Well, no - but it sure would be nice to know more than a week in advance if the move out date was going to be post-poned. Here I was almost ready to send out an Evite for my moving party!

I'm a planner sort. This loosey goosey crap... well, it annoys me a little. I know I pay a very low rent fee - but, that's no excuse to be crappy landlords, is it?
Now all of the things they have said they'd do are "maybes."
We'll see if any improvements incur. Apparently they thought they had $8,000 for re-roofing and insulating, and then he realized actually they only had $1,000 after all.
Great. Apparently Jeff's (my ex neighbor) heating bill in the winter was something fierce because there was lousy insulation. I did ask about it because Barb, the old facilities admin mentioned this to me at the bosses "meet the bride" party.

Well, goody gumdrops. I am sure it may not have been the best to mention his ex admin told me this (after all, he did not like her one bit) but... honestly, do I deserve to get shafted, we're talking about my money for utils here when all is said and done. Sometimes it feels like it'd almost be easier to find an apartment downtown for the amount of dumb shit they do.

Seeing as I pay pretty high utils (comparatively to apartment renters and condo owners) and every other little thing including yard work... eh. It DOES add up. The water/sewer is not cheap here. The gas/electricity, the garbage, my lawn mowers, need I list more? Yes, I get that some of these are normal. At the same time... what I pay for a single person for these things is pretty high, even for my measly 3ccfs of water I use per cycle.

I know these are part of getting a good rent rate. But I don't have to like all of it.
I know 20 city employees who would jump at the unit, so I'm not exactly throwing in the towel, I'm just frustrated that the planning has been poor, and that they wanted to charge so much for a measly parking spot that now, no one will ever use and it will sit vacant.

-Angela
angelak: (Angela Party Happy)
I am moving from Duplex Side B, where I have lived for over 3 years to... Duplex Side A!

A quick show of friends'list people... well, it's not a long move. I think I will later create an EVITE for this event too... I'll need help mostly with big things and I wouldn't mind a fun, motivating get together with some of my favorite pals. Show of hands anyone?

ALSO. I'll be having a BBQ with food and booze if you so choose to have either, none, or both.

I think I'm excited...

I have no idea and won't until after June 1, have any idea of what the space looks like. But for all intents and purposes, I don't have a whole lot of choice and this beats being kicked out with a month to find a new place! There it is.

I'm ready for a change. Slowly but surely I will move further away from the office. Now I'll have a whole side of Duplex between me and the ole' office. Add 45 seconds to my commute? Probably not.

None the less, I would SERIOUSLY appreciate some helping hands if anyone really wants to help me. Cause I love my friends soooooooo much.

IMA DORK!

Weekend of July 1. I am thinking the first of July because I have confirmation the lease starts then.

-Angela
angelak: (Attitude)
Home sweet home!
Baking a potatoe now that my filming/meeting business is done.
Waaahoooo!!!
I fell asleep a couple of times during this meeting - damn.
Booooooooooring.

LOL.

But now I am energetic from running across the street and schlepping a ton of stuff. I accidentally scratched my freshly manicured nails (2 days ago/3 days?) on one nail. HOW annoying. LOL.

-Angela

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