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angelak: (MakeMeStrong)
I used to always write them up in MS Word first, but it seems that's creating resistance as to getting back into my LJ flow here. So I'm going straight to the LJ browser and going to hit this LJ stuff again! I'm tired of my forgetful nature and if I don't journal, I literally will have a harder time remembering what was going through my head when I look back. 2013 I want to get serious again about LJ. I know some of you are still out there. And if you're not... I write to myself. This is a public, but I think my privacy friends locked posts will become more ubiquitous. there's a lot of stuff that I see happening in the next 12 months, and some of it isn't going to be stuff I want the entire world to read about.

Quick 2012 RunDown. )

2013 arrives.


What's New

Aug. 20th, 2012 10:55 am
angelak: (Visualize)
It has been a long while since I had an opportunity to write in my livejournal. It has been dormant. A lot has been happening. So much unrecorded, but in truth I can remember all of it right now. It’s later on when the months pass that I will forget the things I no longer wrote it the LJ land. Since I last posted, I have been cast in Rite of Sol, I have become a sub teacher instead of a regular teacher at my home studio and a regular teacher at Bikram Yoga Redmond, as well as Bikram Yoga Kirkland.

My Grandma died, I am still managing my Grandpa’s funds, we as a family are also taking care of Grandpa, making sure he is doing okay. This is a challenge in and of itself.
I am happily engaged in the polyamorous lifestyle. Every minute seems filled with abundance at this point. Sometimes this is the biggest bliss point ever – and other times a plate or two that I am spinning starts to tip over and I falter. The biggest challenge at the moment is to get the YOGA for myself. I went through a phase where I didn’t teach very much for a brief month, and then it came slamming back with a vengeance. Alongside my city job, all of this does take some managing. Especially given the fact I am involved with three different studios on the eastside, among other things.
The word abundance really captures how I feel. The gratitude I feel every day for the people who I am directly involved with regularly, and the studios I “work” in. Teaching Yoga is a blessing and something that while I sacrifice my own practice at times, is entirely worth the struggles I have endured to get to where I am today. I am becoming a stronger teacher, and continue to aspire to the best verbatim Dialogue that I know how. My brother is back in the orbit of the family, and we are grateful for his presence in our family again after his isolation and soon to be ex-wife situation. We are happy. It is apparent that HE is happy, too. Recently being hit with a strange virus that claimed his voice TEMPORARILY… well, he’s struggling through that.

James is a rare gift of a person. I think that is why it bothered me so much when he was no longer a part of my life, in major part due to the spite of one woman. The good news is that while Grandma’s story was ending, she brought James back into the family as she left mortality. Both of them are very important people to the family.

I am learning a lot about the family at this juncture in time, and have been all of 2012. My role has been harried to say the least.
And the rest of 2012 is going to see a lot more Yoga teaching for me – I look forward to sharing the yoga with people all over the place, and transforming my teaching more and more and more and more.

There’s nowhere else to go, here – but up. And the people who I am able to see are so very special to me! I have the most beautiful circle of friends. While I wish I had more time for things and was further at my Deacon memorization, I also realize I have limitations. And a whole life time. We’ll see what I can do. I was starting to make progress in April, and since then life has been a whirlwind.

Needless to say, Life is Quite amazing for me right now.
I work hard. I rest just enough. I need more yoga, but I am working on that constant balance of teaching and taking and living and loving! And I am more than thrilled to be a part of the cast of Rite of Sol this year. This is something I wanted to be a part of for years.

And choosing to take care of myself first - and consciously acknowledging the people that will harbor a giving and receiving nature within friendships, relationships. Particularly in the times I needed it most. Because my energy reserves waned when some serious things were going on with the family.

And all the good stuff? Well. I worked for all of that. I'm not going to lie. Product of hard work, blood, sweat, and yes - tears!

So here it is!!!!
Growth experiences abound.

angelak: (Lauren Graham Perturbed)
4 days to go. )
angelak: (Girl needs a boy)
Because I can’t help but write about this, I’ll be posting a post. It seems the 30 day challenges aren’t quite working, the weekends pretty much screw me over when I try and do 30 day challenges. But, now that I have abandoned the 30 day LJ challenge, it’s safe to say I am ready to let it be as much as possible from here on out, to keep my records and LJ-y land all happy!!!

So, having addressed the fact I officially give up on my 30 day for now (It looks like I was pretty successful though, for posting LOTS of stuff day to day!) I will go ahead and move on and go to the next phase: just posting whenever I can!

Next on my list, the reason I wanted to post this morning was that because 5 minutes ago, on my commute back to my side of town (where my office is) I was driving the city Ford Escape Hybrid, feeling particularly cheerful after slashing down my worklist by 50% in the first 3 hours of work (my list appeared super long when I came in to the orface today) … and I see another Ford Escape. No biggie, I usually ignore this type of thing. Why? Well, it’s not even my vehicle for one (although I admit it is really fun driving the Escape, I won’t even lie about it – for a Hybrid, it does great and it’s also a SUVish ride) – my vehicle having “CITY OF ISSAQUAH – FOR OFFICIAL BUSINESS ONLY” on the side…

The guy in the vehicle next to me, I notice – is blatantly and unabashedly STARING at me, with his head pointed directly at ME. Hmmmm, I think. Then I look closer. Wow, he looks like Matt. Matt’s only the hottest gay guy ever (yes, Matt – you can take credit for being super hot, I realize Matt is probably going to read this!)
So I crane my neck to the side and stare back for a moment, sort of surprised. I had been in a reverie of half-caff coffee, great friendly users, and sunshine induced thoughts. Warm, coffee drink in hand (rare these days, because I accidentally gave up coffee about 5 or 6 months ago), productivity high, people being agreeable on a PayDay Friday. I realize I am running on and sort of ADD in this post.

So, it’s a dude who looks like Matt – and so he smiles at me. I’m still wondering. IS THAT MATT??? Which is why I stared back, because I seriously thought it was Matt for a good 5 seconds. Count them out, One-thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three etc, five seconds I’m wondering if this is Matt.

Then I decided, no – not Matt. So why is he matching my speed and staring? Another course where they think I escaped high-school and stole a city vehicle again? I think that now days this is actually becoming less common than when I first started work at Issy.
I shrug it off for a moment until we reach a stop light, when I double check AGAIN, is this Matt???? He wants me to roll down my window… hmmm. Okay, why not. Maybe this IS Matt – This is how convinced I am that this might be Matt, same general look. Which to say the least, is… Sexy.

He asks me how my gas milage is, unabashedly outgoing and clearly flirty, I’m still in shock once I hear his voice I realize again, “no. Definitely not Matt. Matt has one thing on this guy… the sexy voice.” It’s not that this guy had a lousy voice, but if you’ve spoken to Matt for any length of time, you realize that Matt has another bonus for all the gay men: Matt could talk about dogshit and kid vomit and somehow make it sound attractive. (No, I don’t worship Matt – I’m just being real here.) Matt is a good friend and I love who he is as a person. But I also recognize his attributes too. Poor me. Having attractive friends, oh – I lead a rough life.

And then as the light changes he says, “really, I just wanted an excuse to say ‘hi!’ And with that, we drive off. Perhaps 5 or 6 years older than Matt, still. This will wake you up more than a half-caff.
And in other news, the weekend is coming like a freight train, and I’m gloriously happy about this. Chiropractic today, Yoga, and then more puppy spoiling is on deck for the evening. I might even squeeze in a trip to Good Will to drop off some stuff I want out of my house, so we can continue spiffing our home. I have a house guest coming in a week from Australia for a few days, and I hope his arrival will spur on some great stuff, like my home being spiffed.

I also have to drop by Marysville this weekend. Blargity. My check engine light came on. I called my hot mechanic (yes, the world might very well revolve around men today) and he said perhaps a sensor wasn’t hooked up because he forgot it or something. He apologized and said to drop by. The car still runs great and so I figured it is something really simple.

Guess I will have to bug my parents and see if they want a visit this weekend; I’ve been visiting them more since I found Mr. Stud Mechanic up North. Or maybe this is my chance to drop by Travis and Krista’s… not sure if my energy mode is in “let’s visit the fam” mode though. Admittedly.
But it HAS been a while since I saw Conner. Who knows. Needless to say, my day is going right along. Sweeeeet!

Oh, and lastly, I got a new laptop at work after waiting since my last upgrade, in 2005. This thing is pretty rad. And the coolest thing is that the battery lasts on it. I have not had a laptop with a working battery (work or personal machine) in like 3 years. I'm seriously eating this up. Finally I take my work laptop with me all over the city now and can set up anywhere, anytime. It's been a breath of fresh air, honestly.

angelak: (AngelaSide08)
Time to write a Yuletide post!

As I sit here sipping my carrot-banana-chocolate-smoothie that I opted for instead of a morning latte boost, I can't help but think back to all the changes that happened in 2010. I'm ready for the return of longer days... I'm ready to get past the pre-winter bullshit. Maybe I'm supposed to be enamored with the holiday spirit. This year, I didn't really feel any of the holidays intensely, beyond Samhain. I have to say Samhain was misplaced, but I felt the energy as pungent as I've ever felt. What do I mean by this?

(Raw cacao powder turns me into a hyper-speed woman). I was thinking of going to get coffee, but opted for a healthier breakfast with raw cacao instead.

I was in Las Vegas with a bunch of new friends, wandering around pretty much in a state of Bliss. That wasn't typical Samhain energy - what WAS, was the transformation all that was drawing together. It was all seamless. A lot of major shifts hit me right before and right after Samhain. But this isn't a Samhain post per se.

So, I'm sitting here as I take my annual day off, reflecting on the entire year. So far, I have never had anything official to do on Solstice, but I take the day off anyway when my office allows (which my office pretty much allows me to do this annually, and if they didn't, I might squawk about it being a religious holiday - because it is).

What things do I need to let go of?
What things do I want to grow in 2011?
Today, while I clean out my own, big closet, and possibly start on Jim's man-cave room as a gift to him while he is at work (starting is the hardest part, and I get the feeling if I start, he will worship me, for one - and also be in better shape to get crackin' on the rest). He has expressed sincere, intense desire to fix up his man cave.

So, while I do these things, after I get off my ass, before I work out today (I always put work outs above house cleaning, but on Yule, I will do the reverse) - I will contemplate what I need to let go of this year, and continue thinking about what I need to give water and grow next year. Now is the time. Longest night of the year, I intend to make this the best Yule yet in terms of impregnating my life with potential and possibility. Yes, I used the word impregnate.

Now, I can't stay here writing too much longer. But I can say I owe my household some gratitude, and some intense Love for making it the best Home that I can. And I am now realizing that I owe my domestic partner and Love some intense gratitude right now as well. He has put in a lot of hard work with me for the past 5 years, he has seen me at my absolute lowest point in my life, and he has given me 100% support the whole way. And even as Samhain kicked our relationship in the nutsack pretty hard (it did, I'm not going to lie) he has continued to unwaveringly support what it is I need to do on MY life path, while simultaneously continuing to give me his strongest Love. This is no small thing to sneeze at. A lot of men would have taken their glorious cocks between their legs and ran screaming from me. Of course, that's hard to do when we have this wonderful mortgage ;) But I know he wouldn't have any way. He is willing to do what it takes to be on this journey with me. I'm not sure I know why I am so blessed to have bumped into him. At a bar. While I was drunk. Hmmm... Admittedly, I wasn't THAT drunk, and I intentionally approached him to dance. Because I'm all about dancing! Even if I look ridiculous.

On this long Winter's night, I intend to keep a high vibration feed as much gratitude for all that I have and all that is to come. I am also in deep gratitude for the sweet man who has yet to fail at making me smile - the one who lives 950 miles away. You know who you are (I don't even know if he follows this blog frankly, I know Jim doesn't). There also aren't words to express the special give-and-receive energy exchange that he and I share too. I'm blessed to be polyamorous, and to have the life that I lead. I'm so grateful for all of it.
I am so grateful to myself for creating this for myself.
And on this Yule, while not everything is perfect, there are so many scary things that happen to us day in and day out - I intend to help raise the vibration of myself and everyone around me.
Warm Blessings on this Cold Winter Solstice.

angelak: (Default)
It's been a wild month. I last posted on the 6th of October. Here I am! I'm here, folks.
Let's see. The month of October was exciting. I started becoming more social, connecting with more people before my Conscious Growth Workshop with Steve Pavlina and company. Met up with Alex Gwozda, forged a friendship with him pre-workshop. Found out he was going to Las Vegas at the end of the month also.

Holidays have been a little off-kilter for me so far. Jim's favorite holiday IS Halloween. Last year we threw an awesome Samhain bash in style. This year, I headed off to Las Vegas for the workshop - just over 1 year after my first workshop experience.

I wish I could put the workshop experience into an LJ entry, but I don't think I have enough time or sanity to do that ;)

This time I chose to go sans-Jim to connect and spend time immersed with my fellow work-shoppers networking and having a good time. Not that Jim isn't a good time ;)

Met a lot of awesome people, really enjoyed connecting. Met a hot Russian who lives in Santa Barbara (here-after referred to as Sasha)- a Frenchman, hung out with some folks from Belgium, Holland, Israel, and many other far, far away places :) I can't get enough of World View Expansion by making friends with people from all over the World. It awakens me, makes me feel inspired, makes me feel a little less isolated in the Empire of the US.

Coping with NRE over long distance for the moment regarding Sasha, and balancing what exactly it is.

Was not at all expecting to forge any love-connections while away on holiday, but sometimes some of the most awesome things happen to us when we aren't looking for them. In this case, I've got to say - I find it pretty awesome and I'm enjoying the learning experiences for what they are.

Post-workshop, I am definitely enjoying more continued follow up from work shop friends and loves. It's been wonderful.

Saw some old friends, met some new ones. Connected with Steve and Rachelle - was able to go to his house and hang out. Satisfying for Pavlina to prepare me a tasty green smoothie in his own pad.

Presented a mini-workshop on Self Defense to a sizable group on the second day of workshop during our lunch break. This was a success. Although I admit, it piqued my interested for MORE time with people, because I had way too little time to get into much of anything. I'm afraid I could go on and on about tactical mindsets - and that doesn't include any movements.

Had many small break through moments about my life in general. A little scary to return home after a lot of touch-oriented love connections, to my "Quality Time," love style boyfriend. I definitely had a re-adjustment period. I also had an explosion of friend-connecting, and traveling around already. Following weekend, I drove to meet Lianna in Central WA, the next day I drove to Portland, OR. And the following week Sylvain from France came to stay a couple of days on his tour of the Pac-NW area. After that he jetted on down to San Diego to hang out with a friend of ours: Erica Douglass.

And then finally I took some time to myself last weekend, re-centering, not on a go-go-go mentality. Yesterday I did go visit Alex G. at his place. I ended up staying up way too late talking to Alex and his boyfriend Alex.......

And so today I was feeling crabby at users and overly sensitive.
Other successes would be my new successes eating predominantly raw foods. I'm a Flexitarian who pretty much never eats meat these days. I avoid cooked food - but do not place myself in a box or limit where I'm headed with that. I don't like to make a big deal about that. I just like to roll with the flow and see how that works, and not pressure myself into things.

I had spent 2010 trying to force myself, fight through everything - and while my intentions of positive change were noble, I was sabotaging myself by putting so much pressure and anal retentive over-planning to the world and giving away to fears and tiny hesitations in my life that I would stagnant more than I needed to!!!!

Have a few things in the pike for the following month, and am committing to making some actual moves instead of just conceptualizing, which I have been doing for about a year now.
I think I will make a benchmark requirement on myself though, to post a live journal entry at least twice a week. I hate to think that I lost a lot of valuable archiving about what is going on in my life. Especially since 2010 LJ momentum for me has been so slow. So here goes that new goal. This counts as time #1 for this week!

I know Liannaberry would appreciate the updates. Facebook is not good for actual record keeping. What I write I will never be able to look at 2 months from now, or 2 years.

angelak: (Take me away)
Drama in the hood? )

Anyhow - last minute shit like this? BLAHRG. and fuck Ernest for cancelling at the last possible minute as well!!!

angelak: (ShadowFax)
A several day update - sadly with minimal details. I suck at LJ. )



Oct. 20th, 2006 07:50 pm
angelak: (Yow)
I am horny. Where's my dude?
*siiiiiiiighs* Ah, well.
We have a party to attend. :D
And very, very many of my friends are going to be there. Waaahooo!

angelak: (Dog astro)
-Snuggles with Jim
-Jim smiling at me and saying, "I love you. You think so much like me!" followed by a hug.



Token entry

Apr. 4th, 2006 12:22 am
angelak: (Girl needs a boy)
NetDesk Class kept me busy - obviously too.
I have so much to update about - and so little time.
I have to get to bed like NOW.
I stayed up far too late last night and then had trouble getting up on time, and focusing for the last hour of my class.
That sucked.

Oh - and for the first time in a few weeks, I feel at peace on the man front. Just for the second, anyway. What a momentary relief.
Except for the whole, being 5 or 10 minutes away from Khaya's office today, tomorrow, and the next day. That makes me feel nostalgic and momentarily depressed when I see the SMUT tower. And on the street that I used to drop him off on Monday mornings. Yikes. Don't make me cry - streets. You know - goodbye kisses mean everything to me. And I was reminded of that when the memories streamed into my head.




angelak: (Default)

April 2016


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