angelak | (no subject)

So, maybe it is time for a drastic change – and yet a subtle change.
I’ve decided that my self declarations to be “a better employee,” are not working like they did 2 years ago. (Seriously, I’d make a decision and stick to it 2 years ago, and that was that.)

These days, I’m not so much the same regarding my job (I am not sure about other things.) This means I still need to expect change from myself… I just need more specific declarations to myself.

So, my new goal (I don’t care if this sounds ridiculous.)
Before coffee, LJ, turning on my personal laptop, I will do what I used to do early on.
I will check the PC Help list first, write down which ones I will take care of first (prioritize) and then after I’ve done this I can proceed to coffee.

Where in my next goal is to tackle at least 2 PC Helps before I boot up my personal laptop (then enabling me to check my email and sign on to IM).

I think the smaller break down of the larger issue is going to be the only way to tackle my overall motivation issues. Supposing I take care of my major business before lunch (1-2PM) I can jerk off for the rest of the afternoon if need be.

My next hurdle is not to put so much emphasis to myself on the new position and shifting of responsibilities. I’ve got to get past the fear of my job being less interesting. What is the worst that could happen? I get more time to visit non-police sort, and the police forget I existed. Okay, so what?

The fact is that I need to accept where things go with less resistance. It’s going to make my life a whole lot easier.

On a separate scale, I think I’ll try and take up running in the morning if at all humanly possible. I tend to be a lot more awake after intense cardio like this (duh) and though it will insure a rosy complexion for the first 2 hrs of the day, I think it could kick my metabolism to start churning earlier in the day.

Also, making it easier to get up early when I do stay over at Jimmy’s place on weekdays (which I do not do often anyway because gas wise, and sanity wise… well, commuting from his place sucks if I do not have to do it – even if waking up next to him typically makes the occasional 1.15-2 hrs traffic worth it. Really. I guess they call that love. Or some shit. Insanity. What the fuck ever.

So, if I change my routine a bit and jump kick myself into gear, maybe in the next 2 months I can be confident in myself again and ready to interview for a new position, and if I don’t make it, I’ll still feel better about the state of affairs. It really will be fine either way and I have to remind myself this. Life goes on.

I get paid and I can live and all that. And my job, is not as interesting as it once was, but in 2007 I am back to school regardless. Even if I feel like affording it is scary. Tomorrow I apply for tuition reimbursement for my 1 English class. I will be getting tuition merit pay (2% of my annual salary, w00t), so that will help me not suck so bad with savings (including my Camaro money now ready to sit in the bank.) And it will also finance my trip to Florida. So there you have it.

I think I can swing this. Though Yule/Christmas season is here and I am spending money on gifts that I do not want to, and I have a couple of bills that make me grumble – I think I’m still doing okay.

So, I just need to decide when to start getting up at 5:00AM every morning. Hm.

And... I cannot beat myself up over not having too much savings. I will possibly never catch up to the meiser that I am in love with. I never got a lump sum signing bonus for sacraficing a year of my life and putting my ass on the battle lines.

And I don't have roomies and will soon be paying for school and I am 2 years younger than the sexymeiser... soo. I should STFU.

-Angela