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Panic Attacks?
I think I have something similar to panic attacks when I think about my condition being lifelong.
I was talking to Judy because she asked about the doctor's appointment and she had the general attitude and sound that it was to be something I'd deal with for perhaps the rest of my life. I felt the sudden physically sick sensation in my gut and the urge to leave, leave quickly - because I felt like melting down.
Few people have brought it up and made me think beyond my own personal worry that it would be a lifetime condition.
This happened from Judy when I told her the doctor had put "chronic," to the injury title.
After being high as a kite this morning, I found myself plummeting while taking a mini break early in the morning.
The notion sent me to tears and general panic/distress.
Jim has been really good lately about helping me cope with my emotional turmoil and spikes.
It has taken us down a long, difficult road to learn how to together cope with how I seem to react to this condition.
I know Judy meant no harm. But I could not stop myself from the boundless cliff of cold, frightening realities that I try so hard to keep at bay within my own mind.
This cannot sustain me for the rest of my life.
This cannot.
The doctor's appointment is today. For this I am really, truly - glad. And I have high hopes.
I also have high hopes because this condition HAS improved in 6 months. I'm better than I was.
So, this too might mean I'll recover one day.
The finality in her tone just sent me off the deep end.
I am back and a little more balanced again.
Damn I hate that I am so easily swayed.
I am strong. But not strong enough to hold true panic at bay...
-Angela
I was talking to Judy because she asked about the doctor's appointment and she had the general attitude and sound that it was to be something I'd deal with for perhaps the rest of my life. I felt the sudden physically sick sensation in my gut and the urge to leave, leave quickly - because I felt like melting down.
Few people have brought it up and made me think beyond my own personal worry that it would be a lifetime condition.
This happened from Judy when I told her the doctor had put "chronic," to the injury title.
After being high as a kite this morning, I found myself plummeting while taking a mini break early in the morning.
The notion sent me to tears and general panic/distress.
Jim has been really good lately about helping me cope with my emotional turmoil and spikes.
It has taken us down a long, difficult road to learn how to together cope with how I seem to react to this condition.
I know Judy meant no harm. But I could not stop myself from the boundless cliff of cold, frightening realities that I try so hard to keep at bay within my own mind.
This cannot sustain me for the rest of my life.
This cannot.
The doctor's appointment is today. For this I am really, truly - glad. And I have high hopes.
I also have high hopes because this condition HAS improved in 6 months. I'm better than I was.
So, this too might mean I'll recover one day.
The finality in her tone just sent me off the deep end.
I am back and a little more balanced again.
Damn I hate that I am so easily swayed.
I am strong. But not strong enough to hold true panic at bay...
-Angela
hugs!
Interestingly enough, I have not been having them as bad/as much since the diet change. Physical body totally affects mental state.
Hang in there. I'm pullin' for ya!
Re: hugs!
Re: hugs!
Thanks for the support. And that is true. The body does. I never thought of it like that...
I wonder if a nutritionist would be covered under my medical coverage. Hm.
Random.
-Angela
No problem!
Chronic scares me less a little because once I hurt my back a few years ago and it was "chronic."
But now it's as strong as an ox. (Always wanted to use that term.) I guess the fear around this one is strong because I know a lot of my career and personal dreams are set around this part of my body.
Makes it a little different, indeed. And close to 100% would be wonderful for me. Thanks for the kind words. They really do help me out.
-Angela