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Uuuugghhhh
It's raining.
This is really going to make filming arbor day a lot of fun -- except not.
That's okay. I'm not rushin' to the office to get the camera, though I should. I suppose people would prefer a camera-girl with clothes on. And if I rushed right now, that would be problematic.
And last night consisted of slight depressionistic tendencies:
A- I hate living alone,
B- Dating men is overwhelming,
C- Dating is retarded,
D- I didn't really enjoy the bar scene that my friends had goin' on,
E- At some point I began to feel excessively ugly and gross at a club we went to,
F- Suddenly I began to feel like I could not dance worth shit and that felt clunky and uncomfortable,
G- A friend was supposed to call me and he blew me off
H- I always have to leave early, which was probably good anyway - except that meant I could not drink and dance much to speak of at all. (okay, it was my fault, I went WITH Kelsi, but I'm Seattle-inept at times, and she had to get up early, blahbalbah - if I went alone I would have been lost and never hooked up with anyone)...
Disclaimer: I'm sure this is just momentary unrest and sadness.
Why should I feel like I have to justify why to everyone - why, I am depressed? Can I not just be sad?
It feels so difficult to express what upsets me sometimes when I am sad like this.
Like there is a mental block that doesn't define what is making me all hay-wire.
So - when folks ask, I feel like it's a test.
"DON'T YOU STEP OUT OF LINE! DON'T YOU STEP OUT LINE! DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE!!!" Tool. I love Tool. At the end of this month. I will see Tool.
-Angela
This is really going to make filming arbor day a lot of fun -- except not.
That's okay. I'm not rushin' to the office to get the camera, though I should. I suppose people would prefer a camera-girl with clothes on. And if I rushed right now, that would be problematic.
And last night consisted of slight depressionistic tendencies:
A- I hate living alone,
B- Dating men is overwhelming,
C- Dating is retarded,
D- I didn't really enjoy the bar scene that my friends had goin' on,
E- At some point I began to feel excessively ugly and gross at a club we went to,
F- Suddenly I began to feel like I could not dance worth shit and that felt clunky and uncomfortable,
G- A friend was supposed to call me and he blew me off
H- I always have to leave early, which was probably good anyway - except that meant I could not drink and dance much to speak of at all. (okay, it was my fault, I went WITH Kelsi, but I'm Seattle-inept at times, and she had to get up early, blahbalbah - if I went alone I would have been lost and never hooked up with anyone)...
Disclaimer: I'm sure this is just momentary unrest and sadness.
Why should I feel like I have to justify why to everyone - why, I am depressed? Can I not just be sad?
It feels so difficult to express what upsets me sometimes when I am sad like this.
Like there is a mental block that doesn't define what is making me all hay-wire.
So - when folks ask, I feel like it's a test.
"DON'T YOU STEP OUT OF LINE! DON'T YOU STEP OUT LINE! DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE!!!" Tool. I love Tool. At the end of this month. I will see Tool.
-Angela
no subject
A - there's much to be said about having to mind your own messes and not others
B - men that overwhelm you on a date don't deserve a 2nd date with you
C - dating is retarded, but oh, so neccessary to weed out the jerks.
D - bar scene is overrated -- nonetheless it's still advantageous to the female.
E - from last i remember you were really cute with an adorable smile. i don't expect much has changed since.
F - +alcohol = +dance skillz0rz
G - some friends are just flakes. at the very least you know which one is, for future reference.
H - see 'F'
:)
It did help me feel a little better.
You rock - !
-Angela
Re: :)
no subject
dating is scary.
Scary
Frustrating? Yeah.
Scary? Not so much for me.
-Angela
Re: Scary
Re: Scary
-Angela
Re: Scary
The message from the universe for me this weekend is "You are not as big a dumb ass as you think everyone thinks you are."