Uuuugghhhh

Apr. 8th, 2006 11:52 am
angelak: (WTF Face Angela)
[personal profile] angelak
It's raining.
This is really going to make filming arbor day a lot of fun -- except not.
That's okay. I'm not rushin' to the office to get the camera, though I should. I suppose people would prefer a camera-girl with clothes on. And if I rushed right now, that would be problematic.


And last night consisted of slight depressionistic tendencies:

A- I hate living alone,
B- Dating men is overwhelming,
C- Dating is retarded,
D- I didn't really enjoy the bar scene that my friends had goin' on,
E- At some point I began to feel excessively ugly and gross at a club we went to,
F- Suddenly I began to feel like I could not dance worth shit and that felt clunky and uncomfortable,
G- A friend was supposed to call me and he blew me off
H- I always have to leave early, which was probably good anyway - except that meant I could not drink and dance much to speak of at all. (okay, it was my fault, I went WITH Kelsi, but I'm Seattle-inept at times, and she had to get up early, blahbalbah - if I went alone I would have been lost and never hooked up with anyone)...

Disclaimer: I'm sure this is just momentary unrest and sadness.
Why should I feel like I have to justify why to everyone - why, I am depressed? Can I not just be sad?
It feels so difficult to express what upsets me sometimes when I am sad like this.
Like there is a mental block that doesn't define what is making me all hay-wire.
So - when folks ask, I feel like it's a test.


"DON'T YOU STEP OUT OF LINE! DON'T YOU STEP OUT LINE! DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE!!!" Tool. I love Tool. At the end of this month. I will see Tool.

-Angela

Re: Scary

Date: 2006-04-09 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ithisia.livejournal.com
Jon, not you sweetie.

-Angela

Re: Scary

Date: 2006-04-10 09:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moshker.livejournal.com
*sigh of relief.

The message from the universe for me this weekend is "You are not as big a dumb ass as you think everyone thinks you are."

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