Deeper than the Surface

A torrent of energy has been fighting inside me.
With the weather, I've been straining at the chains around my lifestyle.
I miss hiking.
I miss running.
I miss walking for the sake of walking.

When can I be normal in the knees like many others?
It's been 11 months.
Please, please – let me heal.
I've been anything but patient, but I've tried very hard to keep my life under wraps while I waited this out.
Right now I spend 90 minutes every day devoted to this cause.

The fear, sadness... it gets so great. The doctors all said the same thing. 3 months.
What is different about my condition than the average diagnosis???
I know it has improved in the last 2 months I started Bikram. But it isn't 100% yet. I will continue Bikram Yoga, but with this pretty weather and the last week of short days, I felt so nostalgic for my old hiking.
I live at the base of my favorite Mountain, my magickal link to balance.
I have used Tiger Mountain as balance for the last decade.
I'm familiar intimately in my own way with Tiger. It's a bond shared through sweat, and tears, and the bellowing of my lungs and the push of my muscles. The dripping of the water that flows through my body and makes up me. I feel like that mountain is as much a part of me as my own blood. I'll be honest and frank. I believe it. That mountain owns me.

Is it a coincidence that my long time residency has always been at it's feet?
I think not.

Few weather patterns kept me away from the trails up there...

I'm an outdoor girl.
I wasn't meant to go from Building to Building.

I'm meant to be outside, roaming, wandering, running, walking, being.
And even in my job this walking (I do a lot of walking) ... gets tiresome on the damn knees.
This broken record get-better get-worse get-better-get-worse wrecks havoc on my mentality. I am so much better than I was. If nothing else, Yoga has given me more coping ability for these things.

The last week of Yoga classes have been pretty struggled. My teachers each notice individually. They ask me what's up.

1 asked about electrolytes.
1 asked if I was going through an emotional time.
My practice shows my inner battles.

They aren't used to my struggles, as my practice apparently is normally pretty strong.
I will work through this. There is no other path for me.
And even if I only stretch 20 minutes a day, it's far better than 0 minutes a day.
But I think sitting out even one or two poses still gives me one hour of stretching a day.
Whatever the case, the stretching, heat, and strength building is doing nothing but good for my legs and my knees.

When this tendon affliction goes away, I will be stronger than I could have hoped to be through running and CT alone.

Now, please universe. I give you my deepest plea – help my body continue to heal itself. I remember what A once said to me: “Your body knows how, and wants to heal itself.”

If I say this over and over again maybe my dreams of pain-free living will be realized.
Please gods? I ask you most humbly.

-Angela

I think today is the day for light walking/exercise.
My legs are impressed by the 3-day-in-row Tiger Mountain scaling experience.

I bought the new boots and have used them twice on Tiger. They have NOT blistered or broken in my feet! I am excited for this aspect.

So, 3 days in a row is pretty good. I decided to run down the switchback trail instead of the straight up and down cable line trail... this proved kinder on my bruised toenails. And I feel like I got more of a work out in general. It's longer and has flat areas. So running on it is not an entire downhill descent.

My new method MAY very well be, when I am not fighting daylight failing - hiking up the cable line steepness and running down the mellower slope of the switchback trail, which also enables that I work harder on the downhill portion. Also read; less risk for falling and hurting myself as well.

I'd write more but I think I want to go shopping and get out of the apartment. Jimmy is at work. And he needs more boxers. I should have bought the ones I saw at Costco the other day, but I figured it'd fall under the "weird girlfriend" clause to actually buy underwear FOR him. And then what happens? I come here this weekend and he is talking about how he needs more. Pshaw. The ones I saw were just the kind he likes too...

I would just like to announce it has been pleasant to hit the trail this last week. Even if it was hard to get out earlier in the week due to evening constraints.

-Angela

Morning Update.
The sun is shining over Tiger Mountain again. I guess the lucky part about this office is that it is so close to the Mountain that I feel owns me. It makes me want to go out and go up it RIGHT now. It’s gorgeous. Working at 7AM insures that I get to see the sun come up over it most of the year every morning. This week is sunny and nice here in Western Washington.

Yesterday we hit 77. I TxTed my friend Susan in Florida and she laughed claiming that’d be a cold front for them. It rarely gets to 77 degrees in early spring! I’m loving it. I was just annoyed that I chose to wear my black corduroys – on the warmest day in months.

Cooling down to a 73 by the time I got off work at 6PM, I hit the trail like I was hoping. Oh, man it was nice! I feel good.

I have been beating my old standard time of 30 minutes on the first leg. I’ve been doing 25 each time! Yes, I’ve been pushing, but it hasn’t been THAT hard. The IPOD really helps. And if I have quick beated music, I WILL match my stride to it.

On the second leg, I caught up to 2 men and passed them. I love passing people even if I am an asshat and hate BEING passed. I’ve realized two things. There will always be someone more fit than me. AND, there will always be someone less fit than me.
I can live with that!

People kept calling me on the trail. That’s great and all … I was honestly impressed at my t509 reception all the way up on Tiger Mountain…but, they were going to have to deal with speaker phone and me breathing. Going up the cable line of Tiger Mt. is… steep. And if you go with any force of a quick pace at all, you WILL be breathing.

Jim called and was asking if I still wanted him to come over.
SCORE! So he headed out at 7PM so at 8PM he’d be at my house. I got off the mountain at 7:40 and showered and then he was there yeay.

We had dinner and snuggled and frolicked (yeay sex) and then frankly, I was exhausted. I fell asleep and he played WoW on my laptop in bed.
I kept waking up every 2 seconds to pee because I drank a lot of strawberry lemonade at dinner. BLARG!

Thimble bladder.
And then I had to get up for work. And I did. And I got some stuff done. And now the sunshine makes me want to get out of here. But I must buy new hiking boots before I get out. My old ones are worn out now. DRATS!!!! Yes, I’ve had them for years and they have gone many, many, many rough miles.

Now it’s time to invest in some nice ones that will last me for the next 5-6 years.

-Angela

I've never really done much stuff with anyone outside work so much, aside from Travis back in the day.
Last Tuesday I went for a hike with Heidi from finance.
This Tuesday I went for another hike with Heidi, and another lady from Finance.

That was fun. I enjoyed Lisa along this time because that woman has an uphill decent from hell. She books.
And I take up the lead on all downhill portions, as usual with any hiking group.
I have an incredible sense of stability on downhill portions causing me to pull ahead in most cases.
Lisa's uphill pace was great and just right for me.
I knew Lisa was holding herself back still, and I knew I could probably pace her at her best pace for most of the way; albeit it would be a tremendous challenge for me.

Though with Lisa's quicker pace -
This causes me to feel less guilty about pushing Heidi, who is a little less speedy.
I hate feeling like I am pushing anyone. I will undoubtably pace them out of courtesy. Even if I'm dying to go faster myself.

The pace, however -
Left me the middle-girl.
Right where I like to be ;)

I am showered, clean, happy, and hungry.

And I have updates to edit and get posted for the weekend events.
*siiiighsss*
I'm high on life right now.

Could I just be girlie and swoon over Jim?
Okay! I will.
*swoons over Jim*

*swoons over happy hike*
I want to go tomorrow now! But we'll see.
The weather made it sooooo warm, therefore causing me to sweat a lot.
Which is just fine by me!

-Angela

I now rest clean and comfy after trekking to, first - Franklin Falls, near Denny Creek, and then to Snow Lake, further out. I love getting waterfall highs. It's the best feeling ever. Yes, I huff waterfalls.

After my 8 miles, I'm feeling rather pleased with myself.
I forgot my camera for some reason. In some ways, I wondered if I'd get caught in downpours, and yet I didn't. That was my hesitation in bringing the camera.
Sadly, I missed some good photo opportunities. But that's okay. It's all in my head anyway.

Hopefully I can keep up my track record here, with some regular, and new hiking spots. I'm scouting for places to take Khaya.
This training is excellent for after FoL when I can really get out there!

Score.

-Angela