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angelakA torrent of energy has been fighting inside me.
With the weather, I've been straining at the chains around my lifestyle.
I miss hiking.
I miss running.
I miss walking for the sake of walking.
When can I be normal in the knees like many others?
It's been 11 months.
Please, please – let me heal.
I've been anything but patient, but I've tried very hard to keep my life under wraps while I waited this out.
Right now I spend 90 minutes every day devoted to this cause.
The fear, sadness... it gets so great. The doctors all said the same thing. 3 months.
What is different about my condition than the average diagnosis???
I know it has improved in the last 2 months I started Bikram. But it isn't 100% yet. I will continue Bikram Yoga, but with this pretty weather and the last week of short days, I felt so nostalgic for my old hiking.
I live at the base of my favorite Mountain, my magickal link to balance.
I have used Tiger Mountain as balance for the last decade.
I'm familiar intimately in my own way with Tiger. It's a bond shared through sweat, and tears, and the bellowing of my lungs and the push of my muscles. The dripping of the water that flows through my body and makes up me. I feel like that mountain is as much a part of me as my own blood. I'll be honest and frank. I believe it. That mountain owns me.
Is it a coincidence that my long time residency has always been at it's feet?
I think not.
Few weather patterns kept me away from the trails up there...
I'm an outdoor girl.
I wasn't meant to go from Building to Building.
I'm meant to be outside, roaming, wandering, running, walking, being.
And even in my job this walking (I do a lot of walking) ... gets tiresome on the damn knees.
This broken record get-better get-worse get-better-get-worse wrecks havoc on my mentality. I am so much better than I was. If nothing else, Yoga has given me more coping ability for these things.
The last week of Yoga classes have been pretty struggled. My teachers each notice individually. They ask me what's up.
1 asked about electrolytes.
1 asked if I was going through an emotional time.
My practice shows my inner battles.
They aren't used to my struggles, as my practice apparently is normally pretty strong.
I will work through this. There is no other path for me.
And even if I only stretch 20 minutes a day, it's far better than 0 minutes a day.
But I think sitting out even one or two poses still gives me one hour of stretching a day.
Whatever the case, the stretching, heat, and strength building is doing nothing but good for my legs and my knees.
When this tendon affliction goes away, I will be stronger than I could have hoped to be through running and CT alone.
Now, please universe. I give you my deepest plea – help my body continue to heal itself. I remember what A once said to me: “Your body knows how, and wants to heal itself.”
If I say this over and over again maybe my dreams of pain-free living will be realized.
Please gods? I ask you most humbly.
-Angela
With the weather, I've been straining at the chains around my lifestyle.
I miss hiking.
I miss running.
I miss walking for the sake of walking.
When can I be normal in the knees like many others?
It's been 11 months.
Please, please – let me heal.
I've been anything but patient, but I've tried very hard to keep my life under wraps while I waited this out.
Right now I spend 90 minutes every day devoted to this cause.
The fear, sadness... it gets so great. The doctors all said the same thing. 3 months.
What is different about my condition than the average diagnosis???
I know it has improved in the last 2 months I started Bikram. But it isn't 100% yet. I will continue Bikram Yoga, but with this pretty weather and the last week of short days, I felt so nostalgic for my old hiking.
I live at the base of my favorite Mountain, my magickal link to balance.
I have used Tiger Mountain as balance for the last decade.
I'm familiar intimately in my own way with Tiger. It's a bond shared through sweat, and tears, and the bellowing of my lungs and the push of my muscles. The dripping of the water that flows through my body and makes up me. I feel like that mountain is as much a part of me as my own blood. I'll be honest and frank. I believe it. That mountain owns me.
Is it a coincidence that my long time residency has always been at it's feet?
I think not.
Few weather patterns kept me away from the trails up there...
I'm an outdoor girl.
I wasn't meant to go from Building to Building.
I'm meant to be outside, roaming, wandering, running, walking, being.
And even in my job this walking (I do a lot of walking) ... gets tiresome on the damn knees.
This broken record get-better get-worse get-better-get-worse wrecks havoc on my mentality. I am so much better than I was. If nothing else, Yoga has given me more coping ability for these things.
The last week of Yoga classes have been pretty struggled. My teachers each notice individually. They ask me what's up.
1 asked about electrolytes.
1 asked if I was going through an emotional time.
My practice shows my inner battles.
They aren't used to my struggles, as my practice apparently is normally pretty strong.
I will work through this. There is no other path for me.
And even if I only stretch 20 minutes a day, it's far better than 0 minutes a day.
But I think sitting out even one or two poses still gives me one hour of stretching a day.
Whatever the case, the stretching, heat, and strength building is doing nothing but good for my legs and my knees.
When this tendon affliction goes away, I will be stronger than I could have hoped to be through running and CT alone.
Now, please universe. I give you my deepest plea – help my body continue to heal itself. I remember what A once said to me: “Your body knows how, and wants to heal itself.”
If I say this over and over again maybe my dreams of pain-free living will be realized.
Please gods? I ask you most humbly.
-Angela
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-21 12:13 am (UTC)I totally understand about needing something that you can't currently have. That's why I've felt so off base the past 4 years. My center isn't in Seattle.