Morning time

So... the latter night time part of last night sucked. Steve waited [played his game online until 12:30 or 1...] until I was too tired to talk to him about what was on my mind, and then he got pissed off because I wouldn't let him fondle me with his cold hands in bed. So he piled all of the pillows between us and we slept like that. And in the morning, when the pillows were toppled, he re-piled them, probably to make me feel better about myself.

Perhaps I'll go for a hike and make it all go away. I don't feel inclined to talk. It was he who built a wall to keep me from him. I hope he slips in the shower and bruises his ass. [He closed the bathroom door, which he never does, and is now in the shower.]

*sighs* I should be gone when he comes out. I should be up at Tiger mountain. And the worst? We're going to a concert tonight, and that already looks bleak at this point. I have no motivation to be Miss-communication with this... and even worse? I'm escalating it by leaving. But I just want temporary relief and solace...

-Angela

Back from the hike...

So, I went to Tiger mountain. It was beautiful. It was so nice. I haven't been hiking in about 2 months, although my body was punishing me for not treating it right [and getting off my ass to still HIKE!] it felt so good to be using those muscles again. And the healing effects of the forest... the trees... Everything was so nice. It was like paradise. I didn't hike to the top, but I was only half a mile away from the top. I actually gave up, thinking it would take too long because there were so many trees down, that navagating the trail was a slow process. On the switch back trail there was a tree down every 3-5 feet. The cable line was easier, but going down was hell. That steep ass cable line trail was muddy as fuck and that was just that.

I felt all my stress and frustrations leaving me, as the earth seemed to rob me of it. Thankfully. Even 10 minutes out hiking up that hill and I was happy as a clam. The nearly 2 hour hike worked wonders....

After I was nearly at the top, but impeded by constant trees... I turned around. The cable line navagation was hard on me, as my legs were vibrating with the anxiety of slipping and falling for 2 miles straight.... but it was worth it.

When I got down, it was like I had forgotten about the euphoria the endorfins release.... I was just high and very happy. Watched my car hit 65,000 miles...

Then I got home. Steve was okay, but we got into a small argument about something else, and I did NOT feel like even going through it. So, in an instant, I felt those clingy annoyances return. I took a hot shower and steamed them away... and I haven't talk to Steve since. He's off with his dad who is here getting our desk center in the side crap-room. *sighs* Later I will have to be honest to Steve and tell him just why I have been so upset. But, the motivation to even SEE him right now is like next to none. I feel better yet again after my shower though. I better get dressed...

-Angela