Jun. 23rd, 2006

angelak: (Coffee is an addiction)
Coffee. Check!
Positive attitude. Check!

Ready for the weekend and yet several hours away from it.
I feel like talking. Spilling stories about my life as of late to people.
Bad combination.
I don't think TS wants to listen this morning.
That is fine.

He listened to the induced babble on our way to get coffee.
This is because he started it by saying in the time he has known me, he has never seen me wear girlie clothes.

Hah.
I was like, "I wore a skirt last Saturday!"
Anyhow. People think that you are everything that they see and that alone.

*shrugs*

I cannot help the silliness of folks.
Maybe I can find proof when I see Ray Ray this weekend. After Mass, I'll probably head to Tacoma.
I definitely want to see Ray Ray one last time before he ships out to the sand.
I know he was taking lots of photos at the clubs and I was hoping MAAAAAYbe there'd be one of both Jim and myself in it.

Y'know?
And also like the whole group but ja.
Anyways.

This post was pointless and I warn you; I may be a post whore today.
Just because I feel like it.

-Angela
angelak: (Gleaming Mtn)
Endlessly fascinated
I am incredibly addicted to the written word.
So very much so.
I pour over my own writings - day in and out.
I love to see the text on the screen. Or even written word. I like it, it's been an addiction I have carried since before I rightly knew the alphabet.
What is wrong with me that I can write and write and write in LJ and never quite come to terms with the fact I need to start writing as an author?

Maybe I am just taking a longer path. I'm still young, after all.
Why do I let fear of the fact a bazillion other books have been published and it's hard enough to even have anyone notice an iota of anyone's writing let alone GET published among the bazillion other books out there?
Is my writing any good when it comes down to fictional stories?

My identity as a writer has faded. It used to be everyone knew that about me.
A storyteller, a poet.
My identity shifted when I began school to become a technician.
I had no idea what was in store for me when I made that step.
And it has been very, very good.
Is the writer in me dying?
No. No, this cannot be.

When I was a little girl, not even able to write, I told everyone I was an "author."
I was 4, I was 5. I wrote stories in my head, and this is what I told people.

And then when I could write, I began writing silly child-stories that made little sense, and yet it was the beginning. Riddle me this - what happened to my ambition? I keep revisiting this place. Nobody - you know quite well my struggles.

And perhaps I shall begin again.
Perhaps I should take a trip all by myself somewhere, if only to respark my writing.
Trips of course, cost money.
Money is tight until my finances bounce back from buying Classy.
August - though. I should schedule time off in August. Even if it means I take long day trips with my laptop to goodness knows where - just to write.

Perhaps that is what I need.
Maybe it would re-kindle my passion for my current job if I just started the writing outside of work.
Just maybe.

-Angela

Grumbles

Jun. 23rd, 2006 05:48 pm
angelak: (I'll take you to burn)
This is a brief whiny post!
I'm horny and I want to see my guy.
Too bad so sad. I have a guy, and these things ARE able to be alleviated.

I want off work (happening soon) and I want to change into shorts.
I won't - probably, see my preferred male until Sunday night.
Seems like an eternity suddenly.
Maybe if Kelsi and I get done chillin with TJ early enough, I will be a pathetic girlfriend and go visit him only to cause my Saturday morning to be a little more scattered than it might?
I suppose it would not be that bad.

How pathetic am I?
I just miss him. It's been since ... Monday since I saw him last. Monday-Sunday feels. Like a really long time.
Sure, there's the phone... although, this weekend is going to be really busy all the way leading to Sunday night.

After Mass.

So.

Yikes.
I don't want to be one of those super-clingy types, but I must admit. I am going CRAZY for wanting Jim-time.
Then again, it's refreshing in a way to feel this way.
Like, deprivation makes it all that much better. Absence and making the heart fonder and all that.
But I don't WANT to be any more fonder! I think my fondness level can plateau right here, thanks!

;)
Silly Angela. I'll just take it as it comes, after all.
*sighs*

Also; I got my phone in the mail and promptly mailed it back. It WILL be worth the extra wait. At Costco I can get all the accessories with my deal. ALL of them except the bluetooth. And that is a bridge I will cross when I come to it. Bluetooth that is. The standard corded hands-free device looks sturdier than many. This bodes well. I am hard on those things, as anyone would be. And I honestly think this is the right phone for me:



I am quite frankly sick of the huge clamshellness of flip phones. The novelty has worn off after the last 2-3 years of a flip phone. I remember when I really, really wanted one. This phone is really slim and I think I can get behind that action! And I like how sleek and SIMPLE it is. I hate the Razors. I think they're hideous looking and I really dislike the keys. I am really into sleek things. It just doesn't appeal to me, the Razor.

I want off work. I want my new phone and NOW - annnnd, I want D cell batteries for my kennel fans that I bought.

The good news? I can leave now.
Love you all dearly.

-Angela

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