Another night

[angelak]

Here I am. Another night.
I am sure they will all begin running together. It's one of those times I feel like it's all so hard to handle. Laying here in bed...

Listening to random music.

This is my home. This is perhaps the first time I seriously haven't shared a home with anyone in some form. Even steady boyfriends count as presence in a home.

Just another day.
Just another night.

I sit on the computer far too much.
I had a good discussion with moshker tonight.
Ummm. Not much else. Wasted my evening away. I am learning to live alone, alone. I really do not like it, but I am less paranoid than I have been in the past. I tend to worry a lot less than I did at first. I guess I am overcoming it.

I still hate coming home to my dark yard and my creeky gate with the dark and not so visible garage area. :/

Every time I walk by the garage area I hurry to my house.
I don't know why I do this.
Except that I am not at ease late at night, coming home, alone.

Khaya didn't used to take my fear seriously. Whatever. I try to ignore it more than anything.
Nevermind.

I'm sure I am just being foolish. I do not ever think I was meant to live by myself. I like to know there is someone to come home to. One person makes a difference. As usual, this place is far too nice and too good to leave, over silly fears like that. I used to hide these things. I just don't fucking care anymore what people think of me. I'm over seeming tough.

Oh - yeah. And MSN is not connecting for me :X Sniffles.

-Angela