Goals, Finances, my mass

[angelak]

I’ve been thinking that I do really like this data closet as my pseudo office! I’ve been browsing the web with no need to wonder if the boss is looking over to see what I’m up to. That and the damn people who are in my office fixing it.

It’s a goal of mine to continually improve the following situations:

+ Financial
+ Fitness
+ Weight
+ House
+ Negativity
+ Sleep
+ Relationship
+ Friend

I went online and noticed Microsoft money online has a nice way to tie it all together. Maybe I’ll start using that as a means to consolidate and get a better monthly image of EVERYTHING AT ONCE instead of just this, or just that.

I may even begin again – checking daily and trying to save in small ways again. And hiding money from myself. My credit card statement was higher than deemed. Then I realized why.

1- Car tabs, extra $100
2- External Backup Hard drive, extra $100

Okay, that makes sense. Otherwise I was concerned. Still, it’s higher than it should have been I suppose. As usual I made a straight payoff.
I got my check for my medical stuff so I will be able to write a check and pay off the dental stuff – and I will deposit the money that my dentists gave me (for double payment of my crown work. What little was left over after the rest of my perio work.) Gods I hate paying hundreds out of pocket. This being said, it’s a good thing I had some savings.

I am back to breaking even instead of being ahead. I may have been “behind” if not for being “ahead.”

Disappointedly, I realized one thing. I tried to log into BECU one too many times with the wrong password. I called them up and in order to reset it they need my pass “code” word. I am happy about high security, but not happy that I have NO IDEA what I set the code word as. No idea. I tried the only one current thing I have been using. Did I write this somewhere? Shit. I’ll need to go change it in person I think. Fuck.

Well, so much for that at the moment, DAMN. Regardless.
I weighed myself this morning. Water weight or something? I am back up to lame 170 instead of the 168 I was at earlier.
This feels pretty damned hopeless and yet I am trying to stay positive about it. 160 is my old “normal” weight. I did tell Jim I was afraid 170 was new my standard but he said not to give up. Well, I was telling myself 6 months ago not to give up. Yikes.

I’m fit. I know that. I’m active. I know that. I must be eating the wrong set of foods. I need direction or something.

So financially – eh. I’ll get there. Weight wise? Who knows. Fitness wise? I’ve been doing awesome with hiking and stuff. Hopefully tonight I can motivate to get as far up tiger as daylight allows. Last night was a light workout.

I have decided on the food side of things I will eat earlier to try and utilize a higher metabolism in the mornings and eat smaller fruits more frequently. Eh, who knows though?

I recognize that

1. I’m not fat
2. I’m fit and obviously can move all 170 of me
3. 10 lbs in all actuality is NOT the end
4. I do have a good portion of muscle on me
5. I also have some extra and it annoys me
6. My clothes fit. I just want them to fit BETTER heh…
7. No, I don’t want to lose more than 10lbs.

Hm.

My brain is buzzing with organizational plans of all sorts.
My job is mundane to me. I’d rather try and work out my personal life on the clock.
Bite me. I don’t give a rats’ ass.
Honestly though – I’ve been pretty effective at work.

I contemplate a part time side job, but realize that it would probably KILL my ability to be as fit as I prefer. Damnit.


Oh oh, Jimmy is probably coming over Thursday night. I’ll be filming PPC and he can play WoW and keep me company. This seems more than awesome. And then hang out afterwards and spend the night.

He has drill this weekend. Lame. I am satisfied with his lighter schedule that yeah – he may honestly make a few more efforts to be HERE.

I recognize I think I eat/have a worse lifestyle when I am in his home. Damnit. How do I resolve that? Part of it is I know I cannot do active things after dark in his neighborhood. It is just unwise with the local people outside of his complex. DAMNIT.
I want to post about weekend updates but I think I may put it in a separate entry.
I will try and get esurance sometime this week or next to get out from under State Farm. Fuck you State Farm. Charging me way too damned much.

I want to log into my damned BECU act to make a bigger payment on my small loan and to check in on things. Damnit.

Oh. Well.

Lastly, I created a separate LJ account for my food journal.
I don't care how messed up other people think my diet is, I'll do what I feel most comfortable with. So, if you do feel inclined to spy, it's at foodlog_829.


And I digress. It is WAY easier for me to concentrate on writing here. I feel like my office space lends to ... like, part of my brain being exposed. It's really hard to write anything of worth. I want to get back to a point like I used to be, where I could really look back at my posts and know what the hell was up with me. So there it is.

-Angela

Comments

Hmm

[white-koi.livejournal.com]

Saving money is alway hard. I can not do it either. As for the other thing, muscle weights more than the other stuff, so stay positive. You are doing awsome, and don't let anyone even your self say otherwise :)

[glitch25.livejournal.com]

Not that you were soliciting suggestions, so pardon this one, but you might also look into Intuit's Quicken for your finances. They offer a pretty solid product as well.

[netharos.livejournal.com]

I've been in similair financial straits since last year, and am only now just starting to see some savings stay in my bank account. You'll get there too--it can take a long time for money stuff to balance out. As long as you're keeping your credit good, you're doing everything you can, and it will get better. It's a real pain though, I sympathize.

As for fitness--you know you have a hot body, so I wouldn't worry as long as you eat enough good stuff and not too much bad stuff. Everyone--even the most healthy of health enthusiasts--gains some weight as they get older, and it's more a matter of staying healthy than staying teen/early-20's razor thin. It really sounds like you're doing everything right, so you should be proud of yourself. =)

Could be

[vixenesque93.livejournal.com]

As much as you've been working, it could be that you're gaining muscle mass. If you're looking to track progress, maybe try one of those scales that measures (I have no idea how) your body fat percentage? Or see if your doctor can measure that for you or something like that.

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know muscle weighs more. But I'm pretty sure it isn't muscle due to the physical way my clothes fit.

IE- the belt I wore 1 year ago or so with the worn holes fits with a brand new set of holes further out.

;)

I somehow do not think muscle suddenly makes your waist balloon, although I am sure I have nicer muscles under the thin layer of flab on my legs, because my legs can physically do more than they were able to a year or so ago.

Or 6 months ago.

And yeah, I could buy a pincher device to pinches your flubber to see just how much body fat percentage I have. Blargity blarg blarg. :D I suppose I could talk to a doctor/nutritionist and see if there's any insight they can give me? About that stuff. Do they talk about that stuff? Is that preventative maintenance? How do I know if that kind of visit is covered, etc?

-Angela

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

And one more thing.
Just because you work hard doesn't mean you'll lose.

I mean, I've been working hard pretty much consistently for the past 6 years. What is likely that could have occurred is that my body is acclimated to me "working hard," because, your body adjusts gradually to any level to balance itself off no matter what your situation is.

Does that make sense? So over the past 6 years... I am just acclimated to working as hard as I'm working now - and now that I've gained a few extra from this or that (mostly being happy - damned boyfriends seriously are my #1 cause of weight gain) ...

And then it doesn't come off unless some drastic happens. Like I get dumped. Or I am miserable and can't find it in me to eat. Which is not the way I like to lose weight ;)

The last 6 months I have been trying to push harder, but I do think there's potential with the hiking season and working out more days a week.

2-3 days a week is not enough. I am going to have to go to 4-5 days a week I think to make these 10 lbs go anywhere.
We'll see. I'm again, at a solid 170 like I have been. For the last 4-5 months. Yikes.

-Angela

Re: Could be

[vixenesque93.livejournal.com]

*nod* I'm well aware that working hard doesn't necesarily mean losing weight--well, duh, every body is different. So maybe you're at a set point, maybe not. It's the reason I decided to change my focus from body goals to accomplishment goals (walking X distance at X pace, then stepping it up as the goals become easier). But that's me and my goals, not you ;-)

I've heard theories about the whole boyfriend=weight gain thing. I know in my case I found myself eating the same portions as Marcos even though my caloric needs were much lower than his.

Good luck with the hiking! I think it's awesome and inspiring, really. I'm trying to get up to 30+min a day, 5 days a week of brisk walking (enough to get the heart rate up). Sometimes motivation can be tough. Eventually I want to do more but that's my first goal.

Re: Could be

[vixenesque93.livejournal.com]

No clue if a regular doctor can provide that information or not (mine have always said "lose weight", until recently when my current doc decided to check my thyroid). But you go to a gym, right? They might have resources there.

I recall that when I was considering joining the military, they checked my body fat percentage by weighing me, measuring my wrist, neck, and hips, and inputting the figures into a computer. Dunno how accurate that was though.

The Gym

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

I don't go to a gym anymore (I stopped several months back and started using 1- My home, 2- The sidewalk, 3- The mountain, 4- Issy Pool.) ;)

lol...
Although I do recall the gym, 24 hr fitness measured me and I swear they did it wrong. I was 155, depressed from being dumped by Robert and had eaten properly in like 3 weeks - and they told me I could stand to lose 10 more lbs.

Kid you not. They said my body fat percentage was like... 36%. I didn't believe that for a second. I know that ever since Junior High, if I weighed 155 it was because I was starving myself. I was naturally 155 when I was an adolescent.

Seeing as I've been about 5'9 most of the time since then, well that's fine. I used to think I could honestly stay at 155. Then I realized it wasn't what my body felt was "healthy."

I accepted that my adult weight was 160 and that it was fine. I stayed 160 during my healthy active years (there were times I wasn't active and it crept up...) etc.

Anyways. I think I can do that with my own gauge and know for sure, or ask the doctors. But then, that's why I don't run to the doctors. I don't know if it's covered.

-Angela

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

I guess for me it's really time left in the day.

Daylight hours. :D
But yeah. I mean I remember working part time and literally hiking part time. I'm pretty fit and stuff. I guess it's inspiring, I don't see it as anything special, but I do know Jim thinks it's pretty inspiring too. Because he doesn't seem to have the Will-power to get out nearly as much as I seem to. But then, I have little Will-Power for gaming...

For me, I've already accomplished your basic stuff. So it becomes a little different. Walking and running, that's great. But it's also a body-image, keeping my weight under "control" thing.

It isn't 100% healthy, I know that. If it was, I'd just be happy with getting out often, like I do. With being able to run a few miles. But, even if I do those things, I find if I am not at what I perceive as my "ideal" weight benchmark, I'm a lot less pleased with it.

I know it's possible to lose it. I know I've done it in the past. So, my goal goes to, "I have no excuse not to be able to do this," etc.

The trick is doing it as healthy as I can. Read: I don't intentionally starve myself. (Less I am trying to shrink my stomach, which I have done for a few days at a time, nothing long term.)

It's a tough balance and something that is in a constant state of analyze-ation for me. And honestly, it has been for years. Some people know about that part of me, and some don't.

Regardless. I know that: There's no magic answer for any part of it. It just is.

And I tend to be of the mind "it's never enough."
The more you expect of yourself, the more you achieve. A lot of people struggle with this viewpoint of my ways.

-Angela

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Although - Travis suggested making it more about body fat percentage. I'm pretty sure I'm no more than 33% body fat.

At my best though, I think I was still about 31%.

*shrugs*

-Angela

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Ah, these are long and drawn out, teehe. Oh well!

;)

-Angela

Re: Could be

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

http://www.annecollins.com/body-fat-calculators.htm

Hmm.

-Angela

Food and stuff

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

Wheee, more comments for Angela. Anyway, just a head's up about the weight thing: I'm currently taking a nutrition/applied fitness class at school, and I'd be happy to share what I learn if you'd like to know.