angelak: (CommentsCrack)
[personal profile] angelak
Been a strange time. Not all bad, just very contrasting in short periods of time. Dare I say Manic?
At times I've been super positive and been pushing myself towards the best side of myself that I can be. Some of the time I've fallen off some kind of cliff and gotten down and confused and lost.

Most of the time I've been happy and positive and heading towards my goals.
My biggest goal is ShapeShifting wise, but that hasn't changed for roughly 2 years so I'm not going to go into depth with it.

In fact, most of those 2 years, I was closer than I had any idea, to my goal - than I realized.
Oops.

Other goals include greater self acceptance instead.

This weekend I have newly created plans with Kelsi on Sunday night. We haven't hung out in months, so that should be nice. Tried calling her a few times in the last week and figured it was ok that I didn't get through. Wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about...

Am hitting the gym, and running when I can... in the midst of a 30 day Yoga trial and loving it. Except last night when I was feeling down on my physical body. Today should be better. I'm intending on taking a double (2 classes) tonight to kick off my weekend.

Get ahead on that 30 day schedule - yeah? :)
If I get to the end of the 30 days, I might go for a 60 day. We'll see. If I don't feel like it, I don't.
As for anything else... grateful every day I spend with Jim in our home together, in our relationship together. We make each other smile more and more lately than I've ever remembered. It's a crazy-wild thing. 4 years and I feel like we've reached another NRE stage? I'm not sure. All I know is that we're in sync right now and it's nice.

To be feeling this way is definitely different than any other relationship I was in around this point. We're working out issues in our partnership and really getting content with what that means. Sometimes, problems take months and months to make progress on. He is so positive and so uplifting, that in spite of my general tendency to be a negative nancy, we still spend our time together for the most part in bliss.

Who knew.

And the more time that goes by, I realize how much he appreciate me for who I am, even if that is inherently flawed, at times lacking self image confidence and self esteem.

Anyway. That's all, for now! I am succeeding in posting in May. I'll keep at it!

-Angela
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April 2016

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