Thank the gods...
Sep. 10th, 2004 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakThere are gods out there, who don't want to laugh at my misery.
Steve has told his parents. His mother actually went with him to visit my mom. She [The Steve-mom] told him that he really needed to give me my space.
Here I thought she may have begun hating me again... and she actually related to how she wished she might have taken a step back and explored the world more, in her own life.
She moves in mysterious ways.
This won't be easy. But Steve has the loving support of his family, and for that, I'm glad.
He won't be showing up on my doorstep. Now to try and sleep. SK: I don't know if I'll be awake or what's going on. My phones will be off until I can get some proper rest. I'll shoot you a call, SK.
-Angela
Steve has told his parents. His mother actually went with him to visit my mom. She [The Steve-mom] told him that he really needed to give me my space.
Here I thought she may have begun hating me again... and she actually related to how she wished she might have taken a step back and explored the world more, in her own life.
She moves in mysterious ways.
This won't be easy. But Steve has the loving support of his family, and for that, I'm glad.
He won't be showing up on my doorstep. Now to try and sleep. SK: I don't know if I'll be awake or what's going on. My phones will be off until I can get some proper rest. I'll shoot you a call, SK.
-Angela
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 05:43 pm (UTC)I would love to see you tonight, but if you need to be alone, or just sleep or whatever, I'll completely understand.
If I don't hear from you by around 7pm, I'll probably go work out...I usually get done with that around 9pm.
I hope to hear from you tonight. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 05:50 am (UTC)Right now I feel like I have lost more then just a lover. I feel like I have lost my very best friend as well. One of the few friends that I could tell anything to. I hope we can still be friends at the very least. I can't stand how our relationship degraded so fast.
I wish I knew this wasn't permanent too. But for that I am unsure. Losing both a friend and a lover in the same day has been very hard on me. I was not thinking as clearly as I could have been.
I am still willing to drive you to spokane on sunday, if you are still going that is. I hope to hear your voice soon. I realize any contact of that sort is going to have to be initated by you.
Everywhere I look I have memories of us and right now those memories bring me such pain. A pain that I can't compare to anything else I have ever felt before. Even looking around my parents place I see all the places we made love. Where we cuddled and slept. With every passing day the pain seems to get worse from these memories. My mom assures me that eventually the pain will go away. I am not sure if she is right or not. I am not sure if I want it to go away.
I hope we can start talking via email at the very least. Just as friends. As much as I need the love and support of my family I need friends as well. Friends that I can trust and talk to. Everyone says to keep busy, that it will help me keep my mind from lingering and help let some time pass. Unfortunately I don't have much I can do.
Today I suspect will be especially tough. What with it being the 11th and all. I don't know what your plans are but I hope they go well for you. I hope you might call me and want to see me. I hope and pray for these things but I don't expect anything. I hope at the very least you will respond to this post or send me an email.
Love you,
-Steve