My writing

[angelak]

I feel like writing.
I mean, seriously... writing.
The problem?
I can’t write and be social. The two for me never mixed. The only times I would sit down and “write,” were in times that I was literally, alone-alone.
And that isn’t now.
So much is always going on that I doubt as though I’ll ever get back to it again, sometimes.

So hard for me to balance all of my goals sometimes.
For the first time in a long time, the inspiration of writing was present--of perhaps trying to fight my fear about my beloved writing.

In the past 2 years I’ve lost all manner of confidence that I may have once had in regards to my writing. I’m sure any piece I would write; I’d be mortified to show anyone. This sucks, because previously I actually had confidence about it. It seems all of that has snuck away and I am left thinking that anything I write will suck; that anyone who reads it will be skeptical.

It was always my #1 recreation and passion of choice... it was always what actually used to keep me ticking. Even before I could write, I was composing stories in my head and relating my life to a giant book, that I visualized had volumes and volumes, pages upon pages....that I would conciously narrate as early as 5 years old or so.

Writing was always my thing, until about 2000. My focal point and all my energy went towards computer and networking knowledge.

Perhaps for an entire month, I will vow not to talk to ANYBODY and be ALL BY MYSELF.... and just follow my goals of writing.
Obviously a couple of months in particular are out of question for that. I think all months are. But I fantasize about being solitary for that reason.

Maybe I’ll try and set aside some time. But I know if it’s not substantial, I won’t get anywhere with it.

*sighs* Jeah. I’m ghetto.
If I don’t believe in myself, then who will believe in me? Hah.
Deep within, I think, “Since I last seriously wrote, I have changed as a person so much. There’s a lot of potential there for my writing...” but on the same level I also think, “you haven’t seriously written in quite some time. It’s going to totally suck and no one should ever, ever, ever read any of it.”
I need that confidence back; but I have no idea how to start.


-Angela

Comments

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine who writes manages by setting aside time each week specifically for writing. She has 3 relationships, plus a full time job, plus a serious need for alone time that doesn't necessarily include writing, and she schedules specific time for each of those, too. It seems to work pretty well for her.

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Well, I remember reading a little bit of your work from a long time ago...

I'm not sure about a whole month to yourself, but maybe just setting aside a few hours a day, or maybe even a whole day to writing.

I would love to see some of your writing! I have...done a little...heh, fanfiction.`````^_^ I haven't told many people my pen name on fanfiction.net. Well, you'd probably only read it if you were into Resident Evil...

Anyway! Good luck, and I hope you get back into the groove soon! :)

jeah

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

What I mean by "alone," time though, isn't just, "time to do it alone," but, little short of actual isolation, I've found.
Something about the way I tend to process stuff and the way my writing is cultivated, if that makes sense.

But that's just me.
I've always found that my writing excelled when I had very few friends, and few people occupying my life. Just one of those weirrrrd things. I'm sure I can manage with friends and relationships; but I understand why they say some that writers tend to be loners. It's just how it's worked best for me in the past. And not my deliberate intention, hehe.

-Angela

My dear...

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

As someone who is familiar with several of your works, someone who knew you then and who knows you now, I have the utmost confidence in you. You are one of my very favorite writers, and I know you still have the skill and creativity. It's one of those things that is part of who you are - always - even when you're afraid it might have slipped away. It's a part of your soul.

You might try reading some of your past works to re-immerse yourself in that area of your life. Sometimes when I look back at past things I've done, I get that nostalgic urge to do it again. Don't rush yourself - take it one word at a time. Most importantly, remember that balance is the key. Face your fears, yet know that I am behind you all the way.

Your gift

[khaya.livejournal.com]

Based on the few works that I have read, I believe that you have great potential as a writer. You have a gift and it is an important part of you waiting to burst forth to delight, enchant and inspire the many readers that await. You are an artist with words. Your skill with language and ability to tell a story are qualities that I find most attractive and want to support in any way possible.

-Robert

Re: My dear...

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

You know what's among the weirdest thing for me about this whole "flicker of inspiration," as I can call it....
Whenever something like this happens, it's totally random and typically triggered by something extensively mundane. For instance:
Walking down the back stairs at work and staring across the alleyway, suddenly became this "inspiring," moment in which a blossom of descriptive adjectives and possible outcomes of why "someone walking down the stairwell," could manifest into a fascinating scene...

Heh.
Randam FYI...

And you're very right-- you are one of the FEW who really knows my previous writing inside and out. ()#*^)#(_*()#^ in the whole world.]

I'm really proud to actually have someone like you compliment me like that. Perhaps it is time I broke out old DL and read the hard copy.

And Just to tell you. I'm DYING to see you dying dying dying for your visit. And perhaps sometime early next year we can arrange a visit out your direction; but who knows with scheduling at this point.

Balance is the key. And there's no way in hell I would last a week without so much as e-mailing or talking to certain males...
heh...

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. They're very meaningful to me.

-Angela

Re: My dear...

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Did I tell you?
How VERY COOL IT IS THAT YOU have an LJ?
Omgs.
I love reading your posts [even though I don't always comment.]
I devour them the second I see your username.

-Angela

Re: Your gift

[herongrrrl.livejournal.com]

I could have written your post word for word.

Would it help to have a writing buddy? Not to sit and write together, since that wouldn't work for either of us! But maybe we could support each other to get that alone time to write, and report back in terms or words/pages written or possible share our work with each other?

It is so so so SO hard to find the time and be in the right headspace, etc. etc....but I hear you, I have so many stories that want telling, if only I would write them down.

Let me know if you think we could help each other with this.

Re: Your gift

[herongrrrl.livejournal.com]

Oops, mean that to be in the main thread...

Re: Your gift

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

That might be kind of a neat thing to try.
It's always nice to know someone who understands where you're coming from.

I bet it would be a big help. Perhaps just enough motivation to get over the difficult part; getting started.

-Angela