Oloteas

Another entertaining day at Oloteas. It's always entertaining! A plethora of different faces and personalities, and none like your mainstream. James had a good time. I'm glad. He likened the people and the rituals to Order of the Arrow type. Which makes sense, because Order of the Arrow was based off of native American rituals.

So anyway. The ritual I participated in [the Samhain mirth ritual] went well. It was disappointing that Cristin left, but I had still had a good time, and so did James. I noticed Joe was sitting reading his book, so I talked to him a bit. I wondered if that was why Cristin was upset and left briefly, and in the end made that assumption.

Joe actually e-mailed me to tell me the ritual was a hit. But, we already knew that, because we got invited back up on the stage by the audience. This ritual was more like a little play. But it was fun. I do wish I had a more intellectual part, like something that isn't giggly, but I still enjoying participating [if for nothing better than the rehearsals and chats at Stephanie/Bobby's house.]

So the prospect of James coming next time would be fun. Anyway. Cheryl was trying to teach me the angles [cheerleading crap] for the Scottsman song. But I hate both the song and the prospect of being cheerleady. I am just not a girly girl, and that's me! I suck at angles, and it's hard to be motivated. It's my fault, for volunteering, and I really want to help them. Battle against oneself. I can kind of get it, maybe if I try it again today it wouldn't be so bad. I kind of remember them, it's just that I have concluded you can't use your brain to do those angles, it's a mindless thing.... or something.

What can be said? I'll try my best for them, and try to ditch my ego thing. Speaking of ego thing, all my life I've tried to get across to people I am not giggly, nor girly.... and this last Oloteas just fucked that up. It's like, REALLY!!*&$@ The question is.. will I always be associated with Cheryl just because??? I love Cheryl, but jeez. I am so not like that. And it's one of those things where, it's cool for her to be seen as giggly and shit, but me? I have done my WHOLE LIFE everything in my capibility to dispell [refuting the idea that I am like that at all] people from treating me like someone like Cheryl. [Hopefully that makes sense to anyone other than me...] *shrugs* Just a random note. In fact, up until a few years ago, I was the perfect Tom-boy. But being a girl does have it's benefits. That's something that I began to realize when I got together with Steve.

And I must admit, I enjoy being a tease. Here's the scoop: Although I'm completely monogamous, and would NEVER dare do anything to endanger that, I enjoy being flirtly, making sure people know I'm not a minor, because it's a struggle for people not to assume such when Cheryl goes around blirting [every two minutes or so] I'M A MINOR! I'M A MINOR EVERYONE! [Even when I was a minor, I would have been far from screaming that out every time someone gave me the chance, it would have been like "let them judge for themselves, that way their inaccuracy is my entertainment..."

Anyway. Just me. I'm a totally different person, and my only fear is that people group me with the opposite of what I am. I'm really about displaying my favorite parts about myself... and I was always proud of being less than giggly and borderline guyish... *shrugs* What can be done? Cheryl is too cool to shun :D Anyway. Must take Steve home so he can go to work...

-Angela