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Dec. 28th, 2003
Oloteas --- Concentric Circles 2003
Dec. 28th, 2003 05:35 pmI started off my day by waking at about 7:30. I took a shower and relaxed, reading livejournal entries and doing e-mails. As I mentioned my invoke was running through my brain. I was out the door by 9:30 to meet Inna at 10:00 at Crossroads. While talking to Inna on my phone, Cheryl called to make sure I was up. Funny, it seemed to me. I had been awake for a few hours... so, I picked Inna up and then headed to Cheryl's.
Cheryl was rushing to leave. It worked out fine. Got on the road and were at Oloteas at exactly 11:00. She then revealed to us that we had the circle for 11:45. I was like, "bleh." Oh well. Cristin gave us neato skeeto gifts... we then rehearsed after relaxing, which I much needed.
Somewhere along the line Joe showed up. I was glad to see him there. Such a calming energy he projects. So articulate. I have come to enjoy that projection I get when I am in his presense. Sensitive, yet masculine almost. A good friend to have. I was glad to hear he would be there for the Sylvan grove Skyclad ritual too. I knew this would be his first one. Moving on....
I enjoyed the hot tub... that was warm and cozy. Listened to conversation with Vicki and Jessie's mother, and conversation with Bobby... Scott, and a few others I didn't recognize. That was relaxing. I didn't want to go to another workshop at that time.
Rehearsal. Very much needed. We critiqued our staff routine and I kept choking. That's okay. I think it was the subconcious pressure I felt. Sometimes my brain will switch things up when I am trying to push myself too hard. I will just start randomly doing things out of place. Seen it happen before. Course, I think Cheryl was like WTF? So, anyway. The rehearsals went well. Went to Chad's workshop. That was a lot of fun. I love clay, it brought me back to pottery class... it brought me back to Kelsi in pottery class, deep down in my heart those days were so fun. We sat together, as always then. Her and I and Kristina L.... that was fun. I made a clay penis, that was entertaining. And a pinch pot. But then we had to prepare for our ritual.
Into the greenhouse we went. Cheryl and I changed and we got our staves ready. We stood before each other, and began invoking, one after another. We looked at the clock after the fact and realized we had 20 minutes before it started. I was like, damnit, we should have waited longer... as I invoked, I immediately had felt warmth enter my limbs and core. My finger tips lost their cold feeling. It was nice. I sat up in the loft bed and stared at Inna apparently, a little aggresively. I didn't notice it until Cheryl mentioned I was just "fucking with her." Then I was like, "oh yes. Yes." But, really, I was just not paying attention. Perhaps I was confrontational. Closer to the time, we invoked ANOTHER time, to be sure it was deep enough. I am almost certain now that might not have been necessary. Oh well. At last came pre ritual discussion.
We stood outside the greenhouse with a small crowd, awaiting our ritual. I could feel myself glaring at the crowd. I could feel Cheryl becoming upset as Roman argued with her Holly King God presense that It would rain, and she shouted that "NO! It will NOT rain." Roman was very close to stepping the line. Cheryl told me later that she absolutely wanted to go after him. Good thing Cristin quieted Roman when she did.
Of course, Nick was there. That was okay. I was also happy Joe could come. I was so buzzed out with Oak energy from the invocation that I did not even notice Nick's mannnerisms, as I had decided long before the ritual itself that if he were to show up to our ritual, I would make it a point of NOT noticing him at all. And that decision beforehand served me well, as something deep inside of me controlled that, even through my invoke.
So, I remember slight bits and pieces of the ritual from that point onwards. I remember the battle scene in bits... I remember struggle at the end, I remember gasps from the crowd as I knocked her down. I remember staring down at her body and seeing her eyes, seemingly glazed over. She was dead. It was realer than real to me. She was dead, and I won. I triumped over this, while glowering at the people standing in the circle. I remember nothing, save images here and there. Some images cast me straight into the Lord Oak's shoes again. Others are just like memories from a long forgotten past. I remember great gifts from the elements, I remember messing up on my line at opening the circle and starting over. I remember feeling high and bright. I remember thinking she was truly dead. I remember that image on her face, of when she was truly gone as gone could be. I remember breathing hard from the intense scene. I remember afterwards, not thinking. I remember Bobby dragging us with him to the greenhouse room. I remember praise and people complimenting us on our ritual. I wasn't sure if people were serious, whether it was good, or if they just wanted us to feel good about it. I felt good about it. It was too real from my shoes to not feel good about it.
It seemed altogether short, as if it was 30 seconds long. It felt so brief. A month of rehearsing and growth with Cheryl, all for 30 seconds. I know it must have been longer than that.
All I remember is kneeling before Bobby as he helped me devoke. I remember dropping all of that Oak King energy down, down, and down further. I felt much myself again, and the manly swagger that had entered my hips [in Bobby's own words mind you, this is how he put it to me.] had faded. My hands, frozen. I could no longer feel them, as I thought I could just seconds before. The heat from them were gone. I had no idea!!! Also....
I was buzzed like no tomorrow, and Cheryl was totally wiped out from the Holly King energy. She was scarcely able to eat after grounding. She laid in a corner and tried to nap. I was more hyper than I have been since the days of old, when I was between the ages of 13-15... This was very interesting for my friends to behold, the ones who have met me as the calm and collected Angela I have grown into. Yes. I was very, very changed.The Oak energy ran it's course. I was obnoxious and all that. I hung out with my friends in the greenhouse room for a while. But soon enough, it was time to prepare for the Sylvan Grove Ritual. I went, it was as usual, moving. But, I had no idea it would run so long. I left early, as I looked at Joe's watch and noticed the time was way later than I had told Stephen to meet me at the Albertson's.
So I rushed, totally uncentered, totally ungrounded, off to meet Stephen. He was standing out in the cold and rain. I felt sooo bad. I grabbed him and took him to Oloteas. He was just the same as always. Ever the friend I had known in the past. Joe, Stephen and I sat around and just talked about old times. I never knew Joe, but Joe and Stephen knew each other from working at Borders. Ah, the satisfaction in reuniting with Stephen. This time, I will not let the friendship drop, come hell or highwater. We talked and talked some more. Stephen seemed rather okay with the atmosphere. There are no misfits at Oloteas. There just aren't. We went to the rain ritual. I hated saying "BRING RAINA," over and over again. I wanted to listen to the beautiful singing, not concentrate on chanting. That's okay. I liked the effects and the glow stick material that was used as symbolization of water. That was great. Um... after the ritual I was again, bombarded with Oak energy and very hyper. I don't get hyper these days. I was not grounded fully. Although the rain ritual was more grounding than the others, it still had energy there that affected me.
More hanging out with Stephen. I wanted to see him after Oloteas, but I realized I was really going to crash off of the energy and be so tired, at any time by 10:30/11 at night now. We seeked Bobby for our check in. He noted that my crown chakra was thready and had less activity than is usual for me, after he read my chakras. We agreed that he do a mild form of the energic CPR to try and neutralize the state of my crown Chakra. After this happened, I felt so much better. I felt more grounded. Albeit, I really began to feel tired, as the excess energy was gone, and I was left to my own devices. So, we barely stayed for closing, and we left. I said goodbye to Stephen. I didn't want to. Promised him we'd not lose touch again. *hugs to Stephen~~!!!*
All the while, I was surrounded with all these friends and people I am now finding closer and closer to family to me. The environment was so happy for me. Everything was so fitting. I was happier than I could even imagine. I was hit with my memory of last year, feeling so alone, so unfamiliar, wondering if any of these people WOULD know me. Meeting Bobby for the first time at Concentric Circles last year. The change so dramatic. The change for good. Yes. So happy with it all. Spell Circle and Oloteas... yes. This is right. I am thrilled this is my life right now. I don't ever want it to leave me, this joy. If only I could share this joy with my beloved... someday, he claims, he will give Oloteas another try. Someday.
-Angela
Cheryl was rushing to leave. It worked out fine. Got on the road and were at Oloteas at exactly 11:00. She then revealed to us that we had the circle for 11:45. I was like, "bleh." Oh well. Cristin gave us neato skeeto gifts... we then rehearsed after relaxing, which I much needed.
Somewhere along the line Joe showed up. I was glad to see him there. Such a calming energy he projects. So articulate. I have come to enjoy that projection I get when I am in his presense. Sensitive, yet masculine almost. A good friend to have. I was glad to hear he would be there for the Sylvan grove Skyclad ritual too. I knew this would be his first one. Moving on....
I enjoyed the hot tub... that was warm and cozy. Listened to conversation with Vicki and Jessie's mother, and conversation with Bobby... Scott, and a few others I didn't recognize. That was relaxing. I didn't want to go to another workshop at that time.
Rehearsal. Very much needed. We critiqued our staff routine and I kept choking. That's okay. I think it was the subconcious pressure I felt. Sometimes my brain will switch things up when I am trying to push myself too hard. I will just start randomly doing things out of place. Seen it happen before. Course, I think Cheryl was like WTF? So, anyway. The rehearsals went well. Went to Chad's workshop. That was a lot of fun. I love clay, it brought me back to pottery class... it brought me back to Kelsi in pottery class, deep down in my heart those days were so fun. We sat together, as always then. Her and I and Kristina L.... that was fun. I made a clay penis, that was entertaining. And a pinch pot. But then we had to prepare for our ritual.
Into the greenhouse we went. Cheryl and I changed and we got our staves ready. We stood before each other, and began invoking, one after another. We looked at the clock after the fact and realized we had 20 minutes before it started. I was like, damnit, we should have waited longer... as I invoked, I immediately had felt warmth enter my limbs and core. My finger tips lost their cold feeling. It was nice. I sat up in the loft bed and stared at Inna apparently, a little aggresively. I didn't notice it until Cheryl mentioned I was just "fucking with her." Then I was like, "oh yes. Yes." But, really, I was just not paying attention. Perhaps I was confrontational. Closer to the time, we invoked ANOTHER time, to be sure it was deep enough. I am almost certain now that might not have been necessary. Oh well. At last came pre ritual discussion.
We stood outside the greenhouse with a small crowd, awaiting our ritual. I could feel myself glaring at the crowd. I could feel Cheryl becoming upset as Roman argued with her Holly King God presense that It would rain, and she shouted that "NO! It will NOT rain." Roman was very close to stepping the line. Cheryl told me later that she absolutely wanted to go after him. Good thing Cristin quieted Roman when she did.
Of course, Nick was there. That was okay. I was also happy Joe could come. I was so buzzed out with Oak energy from the invocation that I did not even notice Nick's mannnerisms, as I had decided long before the ritual itself that if he were to show up to our ritual, I would make it a point of NOT noticing him at all. And that decision beforehand served me well, as something deep inside of me controlled that, even through my invoke.
So, I remember slight bits and pieces of the ritual from that point onwards. I remember the battle scene in bits... I remember struggle at the end, I remember gasps from the crowd as I knocked her down. I remember staring down at her body and seeing her eyes, seemingly glazed over. She was dead. It was realer than real to me. She was dead, and I won. I triumped over this, while glowering at the people standing in the circle. I remember nothing, save images here and there. Some images cast me straight into the Lord Oak's shoes again. Others are just like memories from a long forgotten past. I remember great gifts from the elements, I remember messing up on my line at opening the circle and starting over. I remember feeling high and bright. I remember thinking she was truly dead. I remember that image on her face, of when she was truly gone as gone could be. I remember breathing hard from the intense scene. I remember afterwards, not thinking. I remember Bobby dragging us with him to the greenhouse room. I remember praise and people complimenting us on our ritual. I wasn't sure if people were serious, whether it was good, or if they just wanted us to feel good about it. I felt good about it. It was too real from my shoes to not feel good about it.
It seemed altogether short, as if it was 30 seconds long. It felt so brief. A month of rehearsing and growth with Cheryl, all for 30 seconds. I know it must have been longer than that.
All I remember is kneeling before Bobby as he helped me devoke. I remember dropping all of that Oak King energy down, down, and down further. I felt much myself again, and the manly swagger that had entered my hips [in Bobby's own words mind you, this is how he put it to me.] had faded. My hands, frozen. I could no longer feel them, as I thought I could just seconds before. The heat from them were gone. I had no idea!!! Also....
I was buzzed like no tomorrow, and Cheryl was totally wiped out from the Holly King energy. She was scarcely able to eat after grounding. She laid in a corner and tried to nap. I was more hyper than I have been since the days of old, when I was between the ages of 13-15... This was very interesting for my friends to behold, the ones who have met me as the calm and collected Angela I have grown into. Yes. I was very, very changed.The Oak energy ran it's course. I was obnoxious and all that. I hung out with my friends in the greenhouse room for a while. But soon enough, it was time to prepare for the Sylvan Grove Ritual. I went, it was as usual, moving. But, I had no idea it would run so long. I left early, as I looked at Joe's watch and noticed the time was way later than I had told Stephen to meet me at the Albertson's.
So I rushed, totally uncentered, totally ungrounded, off to meet Stephen. He was standing out in the cold and rain. I felt sooo bad. I grabbed him and took him to Oloteas. He was just the same as always. Ever the friend I had known in the past. Joe, Stephen and I sat around and just talked about old times. I never knew Joe, but Joe and Stephen knew each other from working at Borders. Ah, the satisfaction in reuniting with Stephen. This time, I will not let the friendship drop, come hell or highwater. We talked and talked some more. Stephen seemed rather okay with the atmosphere. There are no misfits at Oloteas. There just aren't. We went to the rain ritual. I hated saying "BRING RAINA," over and over again. I wanted to listen to the beautiful singing, not concentrate on chanting. That's okay. I liked the effects and the glow stick material that was used as symbolization of water. That was great. Um... after the ritual I was again, bombarded with Oak energy and very hyper. I don't get hyper these days. I was not grounded fully. Although the rain ritual was more grounding than the others, it still had energy there that affected me.
More hanging out with Stephen. I wanted to see him after Oloteas, but I realized I was really going to crash off of the energy and be so tired, at any time by 10:30/11 at night now. We seeked Bobby for our check in. He noted that my crown chakra was thready and had less activity than is usual for me, after he read my chakras. We agreed that he do a mild form of the energic CPR to try and neutralize the state of my crown Chakra. After this happened, I felt so much better. I felt more grounded. Albeit, I really began to feel tired, as the excess energy was gone, and I was left to my own devices. So, we barely stayed for closing, and we left. I said goodbye to Stephen. I didn't want to. Promised him we'd not lose touch again. *hugs to Stephen~~!!!*
All the while, I was surrounded with all these friends and people I am now finding closer and closer to family to me. The environment was so happy for me. Everything was so fitting. I was happier than I could even imagine. I was hit with my memory of last year, feeling so alone, so unfamiliar, wondering if any of these people WOULD know me. Meeting Bobby for the first time at Concentric Circles last year. The change so dramatic. The change for good. Yes. So happy with it all. Spell Circle and Oloteas... yes. This is right. I am thrilled this is my life right now. I don't ever want it to leave me, this joy. If only I could share this joy with my beloved... someday, he claims, he will give Oloteas another try. Someday.
-Angela
