Eeeevviillll

Steve came over last night.
I missed him. Figured we could chill.
Seems he spilled all of his feelings to me. Or a great many of them.
It's hard to go through this. I know it won't be easy...

I know that this something he needs to go through so that he can learn. It seems it's going to push him to do all the things that he's needed to do. This is good. I feel sad that it took my departure to bring this upon him.

He has career ambition; and he says he plans on exploring poly on his own. That's good. But it won't be summoning me back to him.

Though it's hard not to have an inkling of "what if," I know that aside from all the hurt of moving the things out; I'll grow from this.

Last night was rough on me. It was also the first time that he wasn't harrassing me; so I didn't build up as much of a wall to harbor my emotions behind.

He acknowledged a bunch of things that were the cause of my decision as being "dumb," and "wrong." That's right. He did fuck up.

But it wasn't just him fucking up. We fucked up.

And that's okay. I just hope he doesn't hold out thinking I'll come running back. I still have a ton of emotions regarding everything. I'm scared for the moving out of all his belongings. They'll be eventually get the shed, the storage unit in the side room, and of course the bedroom items will probably go this weekend. [Alongside the flatscreen, :X someday I will have to get one of my own.]

Anyway. Class begins again.

-Angela