angelak | Mar. 19th, 2006

Was thinking about going to the gym.
Drinking = extra trips to gym.
But now I am too tired.
Sleep.
Oh, sweet sleep!
My paper is 95% done. I'm doing better than I've done all quarter as for writing the paper ahead of schedule.
I was thinking I could stay up later and do more on it after a goof-off trip to dinner/random movie with a friend. Eh. Tomorrow morning or some shit like that. I shouldn't even talk about my procastining. Then no one would ever know. It'd be seamless. X:
aroidan had invited me to Waldos. I was seriously considering going. But. New people are so totally the bomb.
I need some spice and the same old, same old - especially those that some of my baggage is related to?

Eh. I think he sounded dejected on the phone when I told him in no uncertain terms how my evening had went:
Movie with said dude - and I was headed to dinner. What can I say? aroidan had ASKED. I was TRYING to be good about not making plans and ONLY sticking to my paper. Granted, with aroidan, often I feel wishy washy about whether or not I feel up to seeing him.
Again - it isn't always a "relaxing" thing to hang out with aroidan.

And add on the fact that said new friend invited me out and I was feeling inspired to go. *shrugs* I have no obligation to aroidan... sometimes the whole "I'ma be mope-y" thing on the phone makes me feel bad. And annoyed all at once. If I don't confirm, and am being wishy-washy... make no assumptions on securing time with me. Though - I never confirmed and certainly didn't make it sound like I was going to go.

I feel these waves of me constantly hesitating to chill with aroidan, and aroidan always seeming to try and push anyway.

And sometimes I give in. Sure, occassionally it's fun and we're good friends. At the same time, I feel weird. I don't know how to describe it. He isn't inherently pushy? Or is he? I'm totally confused about that. I just feel better grounded when I don't hang out constantly with aroidan. It just leaves me in a better headspace if I limit our time together, because otherwise - I just feel taxed.

I just can only handle so much in one month.
And furthermore...
New folks who have fascinating stories really are awesome.

Though I can't help but realize that I can be shy at times.
Or do I just listen more, as I'm getting older?
I do not know.
I feel shy around new friend. WTF?

FRIDAY was entertaining.
I need to write about it. Tomorrow.

Signing off to get some solid sleep.
And to sleep way the fuck in.

-Angela