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angelakWas thinking about going to the gym.
Drinking = extra trips to gym.
But now I am too tired.
Sleep.
Oh, sweet sleep!
My paper is 95% done. I'm doing better than I've done all quarter as for writing the paper ahead of schedule.
I was thinking I could stay up later and do more on it after a goof-off trip to dinner/random movie with a friend. Eh. Tomorrow morning or some shit like that. I shouldn't even talk about my procastining. Then no one would ever know. It'd be seamless. X:
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aroidan had invited me to Waldos. I was seriously considering going. But. New people are so totally the bomb.
I need some spice and the same old, same old - especially those that some of my baggage is related to?
Eh. I think he sounded dejected on the phone when I told him in no uncertain terms how my evening had went:
Movie with said dude - and I was headed to dinner. What can I say?aroidan had ASKED. I was TRYING to be good about not making plans and ONLY sticking to my paper. Granted, with aroidan, often I feel wishy washy about whether or not I feel up to seeing him.
Again - it isn't always a "relaxing" thing to hang out witharoidan.
And add on the fact that said new friend invited me out and I was feeling inspired to go. *shrugs* I have no obligation toaroidan... sometimes the whole "I'ma be mope-y" thing on the phone makes me feel bad. And annoyed all at once. If I don't confirm, and am being wishy-washy... make no assumptions on securing time with me. Though - I never confirmed and certainly didn't make it sound like I was going to go.
I feel these waves of me constantly hesitating to chill witharoidan, and aroidan always seeming to try and push anyway.
And sometimes I give in. Sure, occassionally it's fun and we're good friends. At the same time, I feel weird. I don't know how to describe it. He isn't inherently pushy? Or is he? I'm totally confused about that. I just feel better grounded when I don't hang out constantly witharoidan. It just leaves me in a better headspace if I limit our time together, because otherwise - I just feel taxed.
I just can only handle so much in one month.
And furthermore...
New folks who have fascinating stories really are awesome.
Though I can't help but realize that I can be shy at times.
Or do I just listen more, as I'm getting older?
I do not know.
I feel shy around new friend. WTF?
FRIDAY was entertaining.
I need to write about it. Tomorrow.
Signing off to get some solid sleep.
And to sleep way the fuck in.
-Angela
Drinking = extra trips to gym.
But now I am too tired.
Sleep.
Oh, sweet sleep!
My paper is 95% done. I'm doing better than I've done all quarter as for writing the paper ahead of schedule.
I was thinking I could stay up later and do more on it after a goof-off trip to dinner/random movie with a friend. Eh. Tomorrow morning or some shit like that. I shouldn't even talk about my procastining. Then no one would ever know. It'd be seamless. X:
aroidan had invited me to Waldos. I was seriously considering going. But. New people are so totally the bomb.I need some spice and the same old, same old - especially those that some of my baggage is related to?
Eh. I think he sounded dejected on the phone when I told him in no uncertain terms how my evening had went:
Movie with said dude - and I was headed to dinner. What can I say?
aroidan had ASKED. I was TRYING to be good about not making plans and ONLY sticking to my paper. Granted, with aroidan, often I feel wishy washy about whether or not I feel up to seeing him.Again - it isn't always a "relaxing" thing to hang out with
aroidan.And add on the fact that said new friend invited me out and I was feeling inspired to go. *shrugs* I have no obligation to
aroidan... sometimes the whole "I'ma be mope-y" thing on the phone makes me feel bad. And annoyed all at once. If I don't confirm, and am being wishy-washy... make no assumptions on securing time with me. Though - I never confirmed and certainly didn't make it sound like I was going to go.I feel these waves of me constantly hesitating to chill with
aroidan, and aroidan always seeming to try and push anyway.And sometimes I give in. Sure, occassionally it's fun and we're good friends. At the same time, I feel weird. I don't know how to describe it. He isn't inherently pushy? Or is he? I'm totally confused about that. I just feel better grounded when I don't hang out constantly with
aroidan. It just leaves me in a better headspace if I limit our time together, because otherwise - I just feel taxed. I just can only handle so much in one month.
And furthermore...
New folks who have fascinating stories really are awesome.
Though I can't help but realize that I can be shy at times.
Or do I just listen more, as I'm getting older?
I do not know.
I feel shy around new friend. WTF?
FRIDAY was entertaining.
I need to write about it. Tomorrow.
Signing off to get some solid sleep.
And to sleep way the fuck in.
-Angela
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 09:32 am (UTC)I am really glad that we have had an amazing opportunity to get close though. Be well. OM
no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 09:34 pm (UTC)But - some interesting things have happened to me since my breakup with Khaya. I think I'd be selling myself short not to take time to really understand what it is I need in a partner.
Being too quick about stuff sullies the opportunities of learning.
I'm also very grateful for the time I've spent getting to know you.
Really - quite thrilled.
You went from said random dude in netdesk class, to someone who is very important to me on any level - whatever the level may develope into.
A friend that I know I can count on and trust.
Eso si que es. It is what it is.
You're inspiring. You are strong, brilliant, and do your best at everything you do. I love it.
-Angela
no subject
Date: 2006-03-20 11:36 pm (UTC)I also had a random thought about how I am the perfect partner to show you what you want/need in a relationship because I am giving you things that I don't think you got before, and not giving you things you took for granted. Mostly because I am a bad human being.
I tried!
Date: 2006-03-21 01:16 am (UTC):X
You're away again.
You have a fever? Shitty! When did this sick-turn of events occur? Had to have been today.
Lousy.
*hugs* at you!
-Angela