Dreams

Sometimes I dream about my ice-tea spoons being stolen, lost or misplaced.
Other times I dream about career changes.
And other times I dream about... honey and hot tea.

I am trying to learn to be patient with my knee.
I went to the Casino yesterday with the family. What a crock.
I hate the Casino, but had more fun at the Casino than usual. And lunch was sort of blah.

Developing a sore throat or something. I think all this stress in my head has been getting my immune system lower. And not being able to stay as active as I'd like.

The universe is giving me this as a lesson, but even yesterday seemed to be too much for my knee. Walking for several hours.

Today I regard it with... the usual state of cruddy confusion. It seems okay today, but I'm terrified to do anything. I was going to CT last night, but I got the "what's the point" or worse... anxiety about worsening my conditions. So.
I didn't do anything.
That isn't bad in and of itself. IT can be enjoyable. I just...
My knee IS in fact healing. I just... I don't have words for how I feel day by day lately. My diurnal activities are disrupted. I feel helpless with it and fearful to lose my progress.

I am trying to let go of that thought. I can't change how things are right now.

But there it is. Besides. Today is a new day - right? I slept half the day away so I wouldn't be tempted to push my knee. Or eat.
The sun is shining and I can't help but wish I could be out in it. But am I just wishing I could do it because I miss it that much - or is it because I merely cannot?

Whatever the case. At least my hair can be straight and I don't have to worry about it de-motivating me for my work out!?

Oh. And I really do have recurring dreams about my iced-tea spoons getting lost. I am very protective of them...

-Angela