![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Knee saga continues, month #8
Dec. 3rd, 2008 08:55 amTime to post. I keep being sporadic. I can't help it. It's been a flurry of life. I'm mostly a home-body, which is fine. It's not like I have tons of cash monies anymore :P
I try and work out as much as I can. I think the stairs in my house are difficult on my tendon condition. It usually sends me into momentary distress when I realize it's not very comfortable. I make a choice repeatedly whether running is an ok thing on top of dealing with the 3 flights of stairs in my home.
I'm given with the questions in my heart whether I condemned myself to more hell by buying a townhouse rather than a single story flat. What can I say? I adore the way our house is laid out. I do not adore the struggles I am going through with moving about and trying not to aggravate my fucking knees. How do I cope with this?
Also, I try as I may at work and yet the boss repeatedly asks me to do stuff that requires un-wise things for the knees. It's a big constant struggle and it's been 8 months. It isn't entirely healed, and it feels worse some days than others. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to run, but I know it may be unwise and part of me contemplates taking another 2-3 months off from the pavement. But the idea sort of breaks my heart and also has a tendency to throw me into a mild depressive state. Or not so mild.
Jim has been pretty much awesome lately. He and I have settled a bit and are not at each other's throats. We try and spend time together between our schedules, and he has been pretty supportive about this entire knee thing lately. It just frustrates me so to have worked so hard this whole time and find inconclusive healing results. I don't know what I expect anymore, because it hasn't felt normal for so long. Pain and discomfort is inevitable in my day to day life. Unless I sit and don't stand at all.
I have been happiest when I was able to run and it didn't feel aggravated, but then some days I think the stairs make it so I'm scared to run. I am so confused! The doctor said a few months and this would be gone. First doc said it'd be gone in 2 weeks. Then a few more weeks. Then a few months. I waited a few months and the next doctor told me a few more months. And now it's been a month since then and I sort of feel the same. What do I do!?!?!
Jim says my running discipline is what I'm being punished for now. Except that I don't know it has to do with running. I honestly think it's this stair crap at home. I am lost. It upsets me.
-Angela
I try and work out as much as I can. I think the stairs in my house are difficult on my tendon condition. It usually sends me into momentary distress when I realize it's not very comfortable. I make a choice repeatedly whether running is an ok thing on top of dealing with the 3 flights of stairs in my home.
I'm given with the questions in my heart whether I condemned myself to more hell by buying a townhouse rather than a single story flat. What can I say? I adore the way our house is laid out. I do not adore the struggles I am going through with moving about and trying not to aggravate my fucking knees. How do I cope with this?
Also, I try as I may at work and yet the boss repeatedly asks me to do stuff that requires un-wise things for the knees. It's a big constant struggle and it's been 8 months. It isn't entirely healed, and it feels worse some days than others. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to run, but I know it may be unwise and part of me contemplates taking another 2-3 months off from the pavement. But the idea sort of breaks my heart and also has a tendency to throw me into a mild depressive state. Or not so mild.
Jim has been pretty much awesome lately. He and I have settled a bit and are not at each other's throats. We try and spend time together between our schedules, and he has been pretty supportive about this entire knee thing lately. It just frustrates me so to have worked so hard this whole time and find inconclusive healing results. I don't know what I expect anymore, because it hasn't felt normal for so long. Pain and discomfort is inevitable in my day to day life. Unless I sit and don't stand at all.
I have been happiest when I was able to run and it didn't feel aggravated, but then some days I think the stairs make it so I'm scared to run. I am so confused! The doctor said a few months and this would be gone. First doc said it'd be gone in 2 weeks. Then a few more weeks. Then a few months. I waited a few months and the next doctor told me a few more months. And now it's been a month since then and I sort of feel the same. What do I do!?!?!
Jim says my running discipline is what I'm being punished for now. Except that I don't know it has to do with running. I honestly think it's this stair crap at home. I am lost. It upsets me.
-Angela
