Bikram Yoga Day 11 of 13

Made it to class even though the 8:30 class was canceled. I don't know WHAT it was, but my performance was way off last night. I also felt irritated rather than guided through the dialogue and that is a first. Usually I can turn off any real reaction to it and just focus on what I'm doing.

Yesterday it was more like, getting on my nerves. I felt like I didn't push as hard, but no doubt it still was better than not going at all.
I have higher hopes for tonight as for being the observer, focusing, leaving my ego at the door (seriously - I think that one is hard) and getting more out of it. I was wondering if my PMSing might have something to do with feeling irritated. The teacher was not a bad one... I just felt annoyed... especially when for the first time in many classes I took a sip of water out of turn because I was just feeling unfocused - and she called me out saying I could wait for water. Well - that turned my ridiculous sense of "the fuck if you'll tell me what to do" on, which is pretty much cause to throw all my focus out the window right there. Because... once I get like that - it's hard for me to bring my brain back.

I know I'm being irrational and sometimes childish when I get this way. I know that once someone "tells me" what to do, I should just shrug it off if it is within my needs. And yet I feel compelled not to shrug it off.

No - it is never personal when they make these sort of comments. For most people, they're trying to make sure they're not sluffing. But yesterday, I was just feeling acute anger at everything and nothing at all during class!!!! Wtf.

Again - the focus for the rest of class was gone, gone, gone.

-Angela

My town and the snow of 08

We had a tiny light dusty. It was between 30-32 when I left the house. I came to work early to make up for leaving early last night to hit the Yoga class. Ja, so about that snow...
I hear Bellevue is getting dumped on as we speak.
My little home seemed just a tad frozen, but otherwise like I said - tiny dusting. And that is fine for me. Blarg, just called for the revised Yoga schedule. I guess their 8:30 class is once again canceled. I have to leave work early again to hit this? Blast. Well, I bet everyone else here will be leaving early anyway. Western Washingtonians and their pansy ass snow phobias. At least it looks like the snow should let up before the Solstice Fete at Joshua's!!!

-Angela

Knee Reports

Reporting on the knees today...
They feel pretty good. Sure, I haven't ran in like 2 weeks... (yikes!)
But I maintain that the Yoga intensively and then adding the running back alongside it in a bit to make sure I don't mess with any of the healing is the right way to approach it. I know by now to seriously listen to the gut instinct on these ones. No matter how much I want to hit the pavement (which is impossible right now anyway thanks to the crummy weather) I know to take it slow and ease back in with a different approach. Time constraints make this hard too.

I also know that probably just re-engaging muscles in my Quads that had allowed themselves (because the body is awesome like this) to atrophy a tiny bit, might just be taking the stress off the tendons themselves. I know my quads are getting stronger. It's only been 2 weeks. Also - I know my muscles are obviously being stretched intensively for 90 minutes a day. I tried to stretch for 10 minutes a day before on my own - I'll be honest; I suck at stretching.

Anyhow, I think my point was that it feels... alarmingly close to normal right now. Give me till the end of 2008 and maybe I will feel like a normal human? And in which case I have several options. I know I will be practicing Yoga for the whole of 2009 - because I have a year membership and because I know I need this. But to what degree throughout the year, that is the question. I can hardly even imagine what my body will be like in December of 2009. Hopefully 100% tendon-healed, strong, healthy, and happy - no?

Jim last night was very excited to hear me being positive about something. I didn't realize it. I was talking about trying to do 2 sessions of Yoga in one day to see how that felt. I mean, I see other people do it occasionally. How would that FEEL I wonder? It'd be 3 hrs of Yoga in 1 day... hm. It bears some contemplation.

:P And now onto some real work. I want to close this shit out. The life of tech support. *Finger twirls* Oh oh, but hey... if I get moving I will buy myself coffee. That's my motivation here... and the fact I like to do my job because if I don't I feel like a crapbag...

-Angela