Bleh.

[angelak]

I feel incredibly out of sorts today.
It's one of those days where I really just feel unhappy about having to be concious at all.

*leaves to go feel like shit*

Too many reasons.
No worries. I'll be in better sorts tomorrow, I think. Yet-- today...
Yuck.

My weekend is being swallowed up by my own moodiness. I hate myself.

EDIT: Refreshing. I talked to Travis [spilled ALL]... and Adam, of all people. Steve's little brother Adam. Yeay! He WILL still talk to me. So happy. I thought he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Honestly? I like Adam. He's pretty cool. I forgot such.

-Angela

Comments

*hugs*

[netharos.livejournal.com]

I don't know what happened to bring on such feelings for you, but nonetheless I just want to extend all my sympathies and hopes for a speedy recovery. Moodiness is a natural part of being alive--the fact that so many endeavor to actively frown upon ever feeling sad (mostly, I think, to cover up their own sour feelings) only compounds the problem by making us think we should never feel that way. Well, screw that--if you never felt bad, you wouldn't know what real happiness is. So don't hate yourself for it, rather spend some time with the dark side. I find often enough that when you can let it flow freely, it also flow through you--and consequently out of you. Sometimes you have to feel like shit to understand certain things in your life--there's nothing to be ashamed of about that, and I believe it takes a much stronger person to simply admit to it.

I greatly look forward to seeing everyone tomorrow--and I know that's what will carry me through my day. =)

Re: *hugs*

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Thanks.... that means a lot.
I would have spoken to Khaya about it. Yet, today... something prevented me.
Well, a level of tact for one. One catalyst offset a few things inside me I think.

Sometimes I'm afraid of always seeming upset. You know? I don't ever want to be one of those people who has this huge melo-drama of sadness going on ALL the time.

I guess perhaps that's one of my fears. I agree with the flowing through you comment... I guess I was just holding back due to the catalyst itself. Wow, that's cryptic. I didn't mean it to be. Alas, it's LJ. Things can't be entirely open on LJ ;)

-Angela

Re: *hugs*

[dudelovenext.livejournal.com]

Glad you seem to be feeling better. :)

No, I think if you're a person that's always in a state of melo-drama, you'll have people point that out to you. I think that's just one of the things when you're in that kind of mood. I know on my LJ, whenever I'm whining or bitching about something, I do get a little afraid that I'm always typing stuff like that up. `^_^

[cupiecake.livejournal.com]

I have to head upstate (redmond) on tuesday and get some stuff done, maybe we can get together at some point?

[cupiecake.livejournal.com]

or not.

maybe another time ^_~

[centeruniverse.livejournal.com]

Doesn't it suck how, in losing a relationship, you tend to lose all the family/friends associated with that relationship? I find myself missing Keith's family more than I miss Keith himself...

Hm

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Yes, that does suck...
However, this was MY brother... not Steve's brother...

He hasn't lost any of his contact with my family, actually. He was best friends with James, and they still chill.

Thus him being best man at the bro's Wedding. Though he could afford and was able, to get to Las Vegas on short notice, and the rest of my family was not able to do this. So consequently, he was the one who got to be there while the rest of us did not.

-Angela

Re: Hm

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Oh wait.
I'm totally retarded.
I thought you answered to my OTHEr post.
haha. Sooo slick, I am.
But yeah.
In that case.
YEAH it sucks. Disregard what I said or half of it anyway on the prior reply!!!!!!

-Angela

Re: Hm

[centeruniverse.livejournal.com]

Too late, obviously...but everything makes a bit more sense now... ;-p

Re: Hm

[centeruniverse.livejournal.com]

Adam? I could have sworn you said "Steve's little brother"

Hmm...lucky him, then. I wish I could have done that, but I suppose in my case, it would have just been too uncomfortable for everyone.

That sucks, though. I mean, from what I've heard from you, the whole wedding sucks, but having it somewhere that the family can't even really get too...that's a crowning acheivement of suckiness.

Re: Hm

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Well, I did on the post. LOL.
Otherwise?
My older brother is best friends with Steve.

And I was friends with Adam, Steve's little brother.
Ja, lol!

-Angela