Random bits:

[angelak]

[09:30] Galeik/93: <--- a dork
[09:30] Cristin: cute
[09:30] Galeik/93: <--- brushing teeth whilst on computer


==============

I keep dreaming about horseback riding. What does this symbolize? Maybe I just miss riding.
:/

Previous dreams were different than the one from last night. Most of them are centered around the horses only. This time, outside of the pure horse element, there was attractive older man in the riding group. They were his horses. Somehow I found myself swooning over him. I didn't make it obvious or anything. Am I defective? I like old guys. What is the definition of "old guys" in this instance? Anything that typical society might look twice about. Cause frankly - I don't think old guys are really that old. Or I just don't really fucking care.

====================

Today - I am in a swearing mood.
Fuck. I wonder why...?

=====================

I love accupuncture. I love it.
I do not think there are many other things I have experienced in my life that allow me to relax and escape the world as much as this. I am a bit high strung, maybe hyper - uptight, in day to day life.
I let my worries carry me away in a river full of curiosity, doubt, cynicism, and hurt.

And accupunture is something entirely different than that.

=================

Friday night was awesome. Although I felt beautiful, for a fleeting moment in time (I feel moderately attractive the rest of the time) ... I felt a bit nervous about being so young in a sea full of older folks. I love the difference in attitude - though, no more or no less than younger folks in my age group.

My biggest sense of apprehension just stemmed off of being able to talk freely.
Although I managed, I still felt shy, and meek. Which is a side few people see of me. Aroidan has indeed seen this side - though, I was more outgoing than he saw at one point at the party last Friday.

Side note:

I love gay men. I love them.
And if that makes me a freak, well - ya'll can fuck off.
Most of them are hawt as fuck. Glad the gays have such a swimmingly handsome array of choices at their disposal.

I hope I'm not being offensive.
Want to know a secret: Sometimes I get scared to express my true feelings about gay folk. I think they rock. And yet, somehow by expressing this - I get afraid they'll be mad at me.

===============

I hope I get cubie walls at work.

=================

Lately I think, say, write, a constant stream of varying thoughts.
Except it feels good, free, alive, to talk - think - be, me.
I love me.
I can't help it.
No matter how much I fuck up - no matter how much I think I want to die and leave it all ---

I still love myself.
I know I'm a loser - I make the dumbest mistakes, I'm hard to live with.
I am beginning to think I am my own best friend. There are reasons for this. I just don't feel like going into it.

==============

Also - I love smelling clean.
I love fucking showers.
Or: I love fucking.
I love showers.
And some people love fucking-showers. Except - I never get to do that :X

=================================

Free two week gym membership comments:

And I'm afraid I enjoy the gym more than I really thought I would.
Of course, I think company makes it do-able.
Somehow I think I could do the eliptical for a long time alone though.
Eliptical trancing!
With music - I can go and go and go. And my daunting thoughts.

It's a shame I suck at weight-training.
Aroidan knows how to do all that shit proper.
I don't.
:X

Oh - yeah. I prefer a spotter on some of those machines.
You don't want to get in a position that you cannot get out of.
To Aroidan - Thanks for saving me when I didn't think I could get up with the squat machine.
If I had been alone - that would have been scary.

Lastly: I doubt I'll pay to keep it up.
School and all.
:)

-Angela

Comments

Silly me

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

So wait... You love to fuck showers? Or is it that you love showers that fuck? :D

I know, I'm a dork. :P

:)

YAY craaaazy (but real) posts!

[kdana.livejournal.com]

Fucking showers.
I love showers.
Other stuff in showers... I find I've got to be in the mood for. Partly cause it's all slippery and such and sometimes in a shower I just want to get CLEAN. Showers with people are more fun. Like, lover-folk. Socializing with friends is fine, but I like the whole... scrub their back, get mine scrubbed way better than if I had to try to reach myself, grab their ass, oh... 0=D

[aroidan.livejournal.com]

You are welcome for the help :) We will get you using those machines right. They really do help a lot. And as far as the cost of the gym goes month to month it really is pretty cheap (13 bucks for me) But you have to get past that upfront cost which can be quite high. But all of that can be evaluated and worked with if you decide you actually enjoy the gym and the elipticals.

-Steve