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angelakTuesday morning.
Traffic flew till Issy-Hobart road again.
Hell.
The weekend was pretty good. Let’s see. Friday night I went to Lynnwood area after feeling blah. Did dinner and drinks with Kelsi, Shane and company. This was fun. I went to hang out with my parents for the rest of the evening.
Saturday was sleeping in and then cleaning my room after getting a phone call from Jon. And chatting with Travis. I then went to help Travis shop for his party. Then Travis threw his little party and I saw Shane and Kelsi again. (They are pretty much attached at the hip… from what I can tell.) S’cool. Just contrasting to me and how I am with my fella.
We’re sporting a little more independence.
Anyhoooww. Sadly, Jim could not go to the party, or come out to dinner. He had homework and drill all weekend.
Sunday night I was able to finally see him again. Yeay. After driving up to Tacoma I drove down to Seattle. It proved to be an overall moody evening for me, but still was pretty fun. We went to the Bodies’ Exhibit. Fascinating and weird.
And then we went to dinner. I was miffed at Kelsi (and Mel some) initially because I had brought up wanting to go and then Mel heard that a few of us were going and it suddenly became, “oh crap. So many schedules … Angela and Jim gets to reschedule and the 4 of us will go this weekend regardless.” I was just miffed. I know they probably didn’t mean it that way and probably forgot that I had suggested going with folks (mostly Kelsi and Shane) twice at the end of last year – but it still ended up the same.
Kelsi and Mel confer and since I was not so much willing to go without Jim (he wanted to see it) – then I would have to reschedule. I don’t know.
So after realizing they were going to get in before us and just go on into the exhibit without us, Jim suggested inviting Travis to come with us. So he did.
We ended up running into them at the end of the exhibit.
Afterwards I heard Kelsi say she was hungry and they wanted a place to eat. We were hungry too. She basically said goodbye right there while Jim, Travis, and I discussed being hungry too. I was miffed again.
She just hadn’t HEARD us, but – I was still miffed.
We all ended up going to (expensive ass) Cheesecake Factory. It was fun none the less, but the whole evening I felt in some limbo of emotional sensitivity.
I am still a bit miffed at the girls – oh well.
And when we left dinner, Jim and I had trouble finding which car lot we had parked in. And I had to pee. I was pretty energically fouled up by this time.
I didn't want to get lost in Seattle or anything weird like that. I decided to hold it from Seattle to Tacoma.
Yeah.
I ended up snapping at Jim telling me a light was green when I was yielding (this was before I decided to hold it). This resulted in a very quiet ride home. I was thinking he’d reach out and realize I was having a rough night. Later to be determined he thought I wanted space. This resulted in me feeling as though he didn’t really give a crap that I was upset.
We communicated some, although I felt unresolved about my feelings in general. We were on a more even scale although I had a lot of overall feelings floating around. I didn’t feel like we connected the way I was hoping we would.
Monday came and after a bit more mercury retrograde conflict, we came to a final connection and the rest of the day was really valuably close and refreshing.
Some important break-through s occurred.
Yeay for that.
I am oddly having trouble with the idea that he is so simple in communication style. So simple that I struggle with it, realizing my communication style is not as straight forward as I’d think. I guess it’s just really hard for me to ask for things all the time. With Jim he really does think that you should ask for EXACTLY what you need, exactly when you need it. I can’t deny that this makes sense. But it isn’t easy for me to do.
When I get truly upset, I enter a paralyze-ation mode, where it seems I can’t really speak or think logically and ask for things right off. And then I imagine that things are far worse than they really are. I am still figuring out what to do about this and how best to handle it.
We had some discussions. I think it is going to come down to translating acutely what my body language means to him in verbal mode.
“If I do *this* piece of body movement, it means I want *that*.”
We did this some and I have hopes that it will prevent the escalation we were feeling the other night. We’ve made it very clear that we both care a great deal, and that even if things aren’t being clearly translated, that really is the bottom line.
Anyway. Valuable. I was just having an all around weird Sunday night.
It becomes extremely obvious to me that I like his way of communicating better than the natural mode of my own. I felt a little upset about the fact that maybe my ways don’t make sense. It was a comfort to hear him say that I do make sense.
None the less.
I feel like the clear-cut communication style he has could be very beneficial in the long run.
This being said, I watched a ton of movies Monday, went shopping for some carry-on, non-perishable snacks for the cross-country plane ride that is approaching.
FRIDAY I leave for Florida. I am excited.
Thursday is my last day of work for 12 days.
I am taking Ostara off.
Back to work on the 22nd.
My boss’ birfday on the 23rd. I should bring him a cupcake.
Lol.
Oh. Mike used my bubble bath (girlie pumpkin spice bubble bath no less). I smelled it in the bathroom when I walked in and I knew he had just taken a bath. He always takes baths. I asked him about it and of course he got the sheepish Mike face (when he takes things or does things without asking – I am not a stranger to the face by now) and naturally yeah. He did. He said, “it smelled good…” I was like heh. Okay. I better not whine too much about it. It’s just funny.
Big old Mike using my bubble bath…
I also obliged in driving him to work again.
Hopefully in the long run he appreciates that. Heh.
Jeah. That was my weekend in a nutshell.
And I plan on going (yes, retarded) possibly to Tacoma area Wednesday night later in the evening to see Jim one last time before 10 days. I’d request he come here but. Eh. We’ll see.
I am also picking up the desk tonight probably that he was going to buy. (invisiobabe.) He has no desk currently. He uses a TV stand and has a lot of STUFF that surrounds the area. The desk has drawers…
The deal on the desk looked GREAT… and well. He’s a cheap bastard so there it is.
And the weight set. That is exciting.
My mom says I have to buy a lottery ticket. 370Million$.
You could call stupid tax… but I guess a couple dollars worth of dreams would be fun too.
1 in 175 millionth of a chance that you could win! Hahhaha. Oh joys.
I am filming PPC Thursday night. I will pack Wednesday night. I head out of town at noon-thirty. Airport at 10. Sounds perfect. Now if I can only do all the airport stuff right. This is my first time traveling entirely alone. Last time I had Khaya with me.
He wasn’t a great traveler for a first time flyer because he had a system down to the minute for everything and I had no idea wtf I was doing. I understood it was awesome for he, who had flown since he was a kid (so let’s just say, decades) to fly through, but to a 21-year-old-who-had-never-flown-commercially… that was a real task.
So, 22 now – and getting ready for the solo trip. I hope I can get all the right stuff done at the right points. I am looking forward to some solitude, book time, computer time, on the plane. Speaking of that, I just asked my boss for a second battery for my work lappy. Looks like he had one and now I will be bringing my 2 lappys on the plane with me. That should have me set for 6-8 hrs of play on one lappy and 2 more on the other. I am set!!! Yes, lots of weight for carry-on. But THAT is okay. I will be spiffy my carry on bag asap. YEAY for an extra battery. DVDs/getting caught up on Season7 GG here I come!!!!
The idea of some purely-me time, a total disconnect from this state... I mean, we're talking as far as stateside away from WA as I can go. It seems this may be just the mental-spring cleaning I could use.
I've been stressed a bit all year. Yes, dramatic. But 2007 has been pretty high strung for me. Maybe this trip can be the turning point with a little bit of read and a little bit of movies and a little bit of I am all alone and there is NO ONE here to cause me trouble...
I am going to take the plane ride as a mental cleansing ground. With the key point being "relax." Even if it's cramped some. It wasn't too bad. I know I will get restless and impatient, but that's cool.
And seeing Susan is going to rock.
Anyway. I should away to lunch and then some help requests.
-Angela
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-07 12:16 am (UTC)She has a way of taking care of stressed out souls.
*hugs*
ooo ooo
Date: 2007-03-07 12:37 am (UTC)I AM flying straight to Nashville.
Any other places you'd suggest? lol.
If not, this is more than awesome. Thanks!
-Angela
Re: ooo ooo
Date: 2007-03-07 12:53 am (UTC)Anyways, there is also alot of shopping and touristy stuff all the way down to 2nd ave and the Riverfront. There is far more than enough to keep you occupied for more than a day if you really want. :)
And actually now that I think about it, not far from the Parthenon is our version of the "U District". (West End is where Vanderbilt University is located). Elliston Place just East of Centennial Park has alot going on too and can be a lot more fun than Broadway in many ways. There's even a great pagan store on Louise Avenue (just off Elliston) called Magickal Journeys that I highly recommend. Cafe Coco next door has great food as does Rotieres on the corner of Elliston and 25th Avenue.
Wow, it's surprising how much just came flooding back to me writing this comment. My life used to be very much focused on Downtown and West Nashville due to my work with Metro-Nashville PD. Can't believe that I kinda "forgot" about all that...no, not really forgot; it just got buried in my brain somewhere...lol
Re: ooo ooo
Date: 2007-03-07 12:55 am (UTC)You have saved the day for me.
I was needing to kill a day in Nashville while I wait for my dad to fly in and meet me. Sweet!
-Angela
Re: ooo ooo
Date: 2007-03-08 02:10 am (UTC)You're welcome, Darlin'. I'm sure you'll have a blast.
Just remember, visit Athena if you do nothing else. She'll do you and your stressed out-ness some good. :)
Re: ooo ooo
Date: 2007-03-08 05:43 pm (UTC)Trying to get crap taken care of before I jet for my vacation. ;)
-Angela
*website
Date: 2007-03-07 12:45 am (UTC)-Angela
Feeling the flow...
Date: 2007-03-09 01:58 am (UTC)I think you're doing just fine.
Speaking of not being quite early enough, I'll be in Seattle this weekend and I have a little something for you, but I guess it'll have to wait until a subsequent visit. I hope you have a fabulous time on this adventure! I have not been to that part of the country myself, so have no advice. Perhaps I'll end up asking you for sage advice sometime in the future...