This Morning I wrote...

[angelak]

Today seems like a good day. My new goal is to get up with more time to get ready in the mornings. It’s really silly that I can get up at 5:00-5:15 in Tacoma and yet at home I am hard pressed to be out of bed sometimes by 6:45. Yes, 6:45.

6:30 at the latest is the amount of time I actually NEED to get ready, so… yeah.
Time to self motivate because no one really has any semblance of caring around here.
Today have some tasty coffee. I found my NineDays CD in the bathroom and put it in while getting ready. I didn’t work out really last night – because I was in the first 3 minutes of circuit training when Jim called to ask about my camping plans for not this weekend, but the next. I ended up calling mom to confirm our plans. Jim was requesting the time off *right then* but also wanted to *go home* so I couldn’t make a lot of my verifying plans about when/where we’d go until RIGHT THEN.

He has a habit of doing this. This weekend he didn’t even ask before he picked up the phone to make a time-off request phonecall. I was like, “but… and… THIS NEXT weekend???” It didn’t work out, needless to say. All the campgrounds were booked and the one I want to go to is 2.5 hrs out or so, which means… the amount of time he requested off was just not enough. (He only requested Saturday off, and he worked Friday and possibly Sunday…) that leaves for not a whole lot of camping plans.

I was going to go with it until I realized all the local campgrounds seem to be booked. The local within 2 hrs grounds. So my workout was interrupted almost immediately and I missed taking myself to see Harry Potter as well. Instead I talked with my mom on the phone.

Damn, so close to circuit training last night lol. I had only stopped because I needed my weights to do military presses and had forgotten them in the house. Oh well.

So anyway, this week has sort of been lame in the regard that I had serious PMS (the violent, I want to rip out your throat attitudes). And that each time I tried to call Jim in the evening he doesn’t answer. And then calls back 2 hrs later when I am in a dead sleep. All the fun things I generally blab about are not in any sense on the tip of my tongue out of a dead sleep. Part of trying to get more time in the morning is about forcing myself to be well rested – which has a myriad of real benefits.

Anyway – aside from that frustration… (I suspect WoW And Ventrillo are to blame, but I won’t bring that up. He’ll automatically get defensive.) Maybe I’ll point out that our evening phone calls will be earlier because of this to him and I’ll have better luck. One would think after 3-4 nights in a row he’d figure it out… not so much.

Typically anyone can call me any time of the day. Those who are important to me anyway. But, if I am mindless and don’t say a whole lot, it’s not really that… uh. Worth while.


And then I went to go work.
And left it. Abandoned it. The post. The thoughts. The everything. But here it is anyway.
Or you would get more silence. When really I wrote all that.

-Angela

Comments

[netharos.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I write big, long lj entries, and erase them once I realize that what I was really doing was simply a therapeutic process, and it was never intended to be an expression of my thoughts to be viewed/registered by others.

A lot of it can be a sorting process, and I would guess that may be what you're doing with lj too right now. When I read your past two entries, it sounds like you're trying to work out a lot of things to find the core of how you really feel. I often find when I do that, things can appear very nebulous and overwhelming--so I hope things start to connect and/or make sense more for you soon.

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking it's fine just to post things that are only half finished. I mean, one half post of yours is more than I write in a month. ;) Anyway, I'd rather sort of hear about you than not at all.

[thurmin.livejournal.com]

It's rough. I know I don't feel like I'm putting anything of quality each time I post. Then I realize I use my livejournal as a mixture for personal relief, general blah blah, and getting things off my chest that I'm not capable of doing normally.

In short, your posts are very good, very indepth and quite frequent :D

Personally, I think you are doing well :) Hang in there!