Extra, extra! Read all about it

[angelak]

Wow. This morning my stuff – IE, sweater I wanted to wear today, work keys, aircard, these sort of things – ALL decided to hide from me!!!!

It's okay, it has all been recovered as of yet. Today is a pretty good day so far. Drinking some coffee (need to buy more or grind some that I got from CHRISTOPHER (thanks). I am looking forward to tonight and the Yule Party I am scheduled to go to. Yesterday, Steve notified me that he didn't want to go to the gym. It is in downtown Bellevue. That means hollyday shopping causes unnecessary congestion. It coincided with what I was hoping anyway. I was bummed to miss out on another outdoor run. Because he didn't want to go to the gym, I got to go on the outdoor run after all. Work had been too busy to go for one on lunch because I took lunch again at 3:30. I was happy to get out there and hit the pavement.

I believe I'm getting more out of my runs outside. He did, however – decide to come over and talk about home purchasing with us. Jim would often ask me questions I had no answers to. Steve is better armed with some knowledge regarding this.

That went well – although we're still scared shitless to even jump into the fray. I hate the idea of being house-poor, even if in a couple of years it might get better. But then again, if you never start... it seems the prices continue to raise, even if it isn't as quick as it once was on the turnaround for extra equity. This is a long, thick discussion. Steve has been urging me to try and buy for a couple of years now. The truth of the matter is, if I had shifted and done that - I may already have had enough equity to jump into something nicer and earned some money. I was just too nervous then, and I am still a bit nervous. We ate at Denny's (the other day we went there to buy Jim's Grandma a Giftcard there for the hollydays) and it sounded good because we hadn't been there in ages. So we took the opportunity to go with Steve.

I'm very happy with how the friendship has progressed. I am also very happy with Jim's lack of jealousy in the matter. The number one relief I am most aware of about Jim lately is the act he can handle my tendency to not want to hold grudges and never again speak with my exes. I just don't roll that way. Let's face it... I knew the moment I dumped Steve that I intended to one day maintain a friendship somehow.

Unfortunately when you are with someone for a long time, it takes a long time to reach this arena without it being fucked up.

Sometimes it still bums me out on some level to know he is so successful (I knew it, I knew he would be). Not because I don't want him to have success, but because it would have meant an easier life for me financially if I had stayed with him.
But I would not have been happy. Both he and I are far healthier without each other – and I was fortunate to find somebody who resonates with me energetically, and in so many other ways.

Anyways, digressing. Jim got his questions answered, we did some equations to figure out how much we could theoretically afford. I have been down this path before, I admit. I again – kneejerk reaction is to bolt. But Steve has some very good points, and I didn't listen to him fully last time. And now look... he had himself some equity and is further along in his home-ownership path. I know he has knows money better than me. I wish I had the optimism and the brain for it. But my background is different. I didn't come from money, and he did. His parents have done quite well for most of his life. My parents have done quite less than quite well for most of my life. We learn these patterns from those we came from. The outlook is what I think I take with me. But the outlook also keeps me from making dire mistakes and being in serious financial trouble as well. I've often been very glad I grew up the way I did.

People who had it easier in childhood sometimes take for granted that security – the financial security. Even as adults, the ones that know their parents can bail them out if something seriously goes wrong for them. Steve has that. I don't. For the first time in my life, I have directly asked for help from my grandparents this month. Rufus and the vet bills will be more costly than I am happy to report. I could probably pull off the bills if I let myself not spend any money on anything else, or acquire no savings in the next year. I have high hopes to acquire some savings to help us one day buy a place. The grandparents took out a reverse mortgage. That means once they die, the property is not theirs anymore (okay, or our family either.) But they have access to money. My mom convinced me to see if Grandma would mind helping with the re-juicing of my dog. (More blood tests.) I call blood tests juicing. :P

So, for Rufus... for the diagnosis and confirmation of Cushings Disease, I ask for a small amount of money from the grandparents. Everybody loves Rufus... especially Grandma. So, hopefully early 2008 we can get him back to the vet so we can treat this. I am dying for his urination levels to drop. He has a couple of accidents if we are not ON TOP OF IT in the house, but I try and stress to Jim that I don't think this dog can help it. Yes, he never does it in front of us... but still. Likely that is because we NOTICE he needs out, or he really feels bad about doing it. In my history with owning this dog (11 going on 12 years, since he was a 6 week old puppy)... he has not really peed on carpets. He was always particular about where he would disobey. He wanted to do it in the tiled areas, the bathroom, etc.

Digression.

We discussed condos, how to trade up, Jim's questions, and generally hung out. Jim and Steve do have some things in common – which makes things easier. Steve is beginning to relax around Jim, and that may be thanks to Jim's outgoing, friendliness.

Anyways. I feel a lot more ready to try and buy a condo than ever. My fear is now that I've been sitting on this for 2+ years, Jim has only just begun. I know he makes dramatically less than me. I know the idea is scarier for him, than it is for me. Again, I've been sitting on the idea, shying away from it for over 2 years.

I really want to sit down with Steve's man and see what options we have. But I know I can't blame Jim for being skittish. He feels a bit drained on how much we pay now and that is a fraction of what we'd pay if we bought a place.

Who knows. I still feel overwhelmed, but if I don't get in now – when will I?
I don't REALLY see prices going down that much... in all honesty.

Lots to think about. I know sometime in 2008 I'd like to explore my options further. I also want to make sure where ever I move, I can run outside and not get ganked.


-Angela

Comments

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

Okay, the whole "Steve's man" thing kind of threw me off for a second... :P

But as far as home ownership, I know how you feel in some respects. Research and knowledge can be a great cure for some of those anxieties, so I would keep doing what you're doing - ask questions, do research, etc.

Ja. my laptop sucks sometimes

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

That must have happened with my laptop.
Sometimes the mouse touchpad gets brushed by my palm and I don't realize IA m typing in anothe rplace.

Damn. I am buzzed.

Anyways,. that's why that looked like that. Because of the damn mouse touchpad.

-Angela