Confounded Alarm Clock - and people telling me how to talk

[angelak]

Pretty much - my alarm clock hates me.
Day 2 that when I hit snooze, it just never went off 9 minutes later. I wake up at 6:47, or today – 7:11.
I can modify my situations. Sure – but it just frustrates me. The day started off kind of shaky, let's just put it that way.
Then, as I am concentrating on living inside my head, getting ready for my day and figuring out stuff... I hear Jim talking in the other room. I guess he keeps trying to call Jeff. First off, both times he has called Jeff in the morning. I told Jim that Jeff is in police academy, and basically that means M-F he is unavailable largely in the mornings.
Jim wants to invite his friend to the Halo Party this weekend. The one that Shawn and Jeff are throwing.

Jeff=my sister's longtime-boyfriend.

He asks me, and he is always so polite, “Babe can you do me a favor?” and I hate when people ask me things in this fashion. They think it is polite, but it feels like some sort of obligation when someone requests this that way. When I asked “what?” and then realized that he wanted me to call my sister to ask if he could have his little friend at the Halo party, I said, “No.”

Well, why is it when you tell them the truth – that everyone gets butthurt about it???? You asked if I would do you a favor. And I said no. When he decided to try and go on and no about why/what else, he tried to act like I was being a rude bitch. Now, it is pretty obvious I am not into gaming. Okay, let's everybody get on the same page as me; I've had issues with games since the “Beginning of the End,” with Steve.

So, take a day when I am running late, not too happy about it – in the middle of what I feel is often “me” time, which is basically make up time in the morning... and ask me something stupid like “can you call your sister, who has no involvement in the Halo party, and ask if her boyfriend would mind if Ben can come to the party too?”

I get really frustrated when he also is unhappy with my response. I guess the bigger issue I have is he always has these “better” ways of responding. I'm not by nature the same thoughtful person as he is. I'm not saying this is good. It's rather bad, but sometimes when I am constantly told that a simple, “XYZ” would do instead of the way I responded, it just feels really overwhelming over time. What I mean to say is that when it happens consecutive times, not just once or twice – when I feel like I begin to hear it over and over again, I largely feel like someone is constantly telling me what I should say and how I should respond.

THIS is the point of major frustration for me. Please, just let me be myself, let me choose my own words, and for god's sake, why should I be obligated to use someone else's choice of words? Sometimes I just want to scream when that happens.
And when I express what that IS, it falls on deaf ears.

Suffice to say – it gets really, really, really old when you are just going through your life responding to situations, and there is always someone telling you that you're doing it wrong, you suck, and that you should do it this other “better,” “reformed,” way.

Well, fuck you too – because frankly I am Angela – and if you can't handle that then get the hell away from me, K-Thx-Bye.

-Angela

Comments

[luna-piena.livejournal.com]

I don't like it when people get hurt when you don't want to do them a favour. I hope your day gets better. *hugs*

[seattleotaku.livejournal.com]

This is why we've invented answering machines, voice mail, and trying to call at a different time of the day. ^_^

[nobodyberry.livejournal.com]

Boy do I know that feeling. Some people, as much as we love them, just can't see past their own point of view. But in any case, I think you're perfectly awesome just the way you are. :)