New CT and thoughts
Apr. 14th, 2008 09:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakSoooo... I realize CT should change pretty often (routine is the enemy I hear).
But, this latest change up is outright intimidating! Jim did it at drill last night and it smoked him.
I want to do this because it actually will kick the ass of any good athlete. Hands down.
So I am procrastinating on doing this particular feat. But I am going to do it sometime today, whether it is just yet or not!
That and I need to do it outside (and all my co workers will probably see). I should say so what - but seeing as my house and my work are so close, sometimes I just don't want someone watching when I am working on a new work out that I have never done before!!!
Granted, what are they going to say "You suck, you're working out and it's kicking your ass?" I'd just say, "come here and show me better." Truly - it's not a question of IF I would be seen by somebody. And they always DO tend to make some comment. I am my mother's daughter - it does make me somehow uncomfortable when people start commenting to me about varying things. For instance, on a run this weekend at the end of mile 4... the old dude who works in facilities is somehow outside while I am running by. I don't recognize him from the man on the moon from afar, but I am always watching and alert when I am on my runs, or doing anything really. I see him doing this weird leg clop thing imitating me running. Now - not to be a snob, but I take great pride lately in the fact that I think my form is pretty good. I immediately feel threatened by some random old dude doing the wild-goose-trot 100 yards away. Just because YOU RECOGNIZE ME from afar (not talking to anyone on my FLIST btw) does not mean I will recognize YOU!!! Eventually I place him and figure out who he is. I don't like much this guy says at work let alone on my off-time, he tends to just annoy me. So I didn't turn down my ipod, or really even respond beyond some random half smile - he babbled something useless and I went on my way. I am thinking - could you just let me run by and enjoy my life to myself?
Regardless. Having a lot of thoughts about life in general. And now that I found clothes I seem to have forgotten them all. In the past year I have done a lot of solo work. I didn't think I'd ever be in a place where SOLITARY work, was what I needed over community work. Somehow it just fell into my lap. Along with that came a few changes from within. Changes that I know originated from me and no where else, as a sole result of the solitary work.
My latest thing is that I want to be more positive. (after telling my cynical story...oops).
Well, I think I will post daily if possible some of the more positive things that happen to me. Trying to celebrate the smaller things rather than sweat them, and bring together a larger picture of my life, rather than the up-close "this happened to me 30 minutes ago and now I'm going to be angry for 3 hours."
I have a lot of trouble letting go, I suggested this previously. It's time for me to work through some of this and see where it takes me. There are a lot of good things that happen, and as is human nature, I focus a LOT on the bad ones. So - as much as I enjoy bitching about my co workers, and people commenting on my accomplishments, and some other laundry list of things... I am really wanting to get out of that pattern and find a new one. After all - Jim sees things a lot brighter than I do, and consequently seems a lot happier. People like happier people, including me. I'd rather like myself more than less - so here goes.
And it is understood that changing anything like lifestyle or mindsets do not come without relapses, without struggle, and without a general sense of challenge. If I can turn myself into a runner, start from very few real push ups to over 100 on any given day, and drop a good portion of my bodyfat, I think I can change my mind once I make up my mind to do this. Patience. perseverance.
-Angela
But, this latest change up is outright intimidating! Jim did it at drill last night and it smoked him.
I want to do this because it actually will kick the ass of any good athlete. Hands down.
So I am procrastinating on doing this particular feat. But I am going to do it sometime today, whether it is just yet or not!
That and I need to do it outside (and all my co workers will probably see). I should say so what - but seeing as my house and my work are so close, sometimes I just don't want someone watching when I am working on a new work out that I have never done before!!!
Granted, what are they going to say "You suck, you're working out and it's kicking your ass?" I'd just say, "come here and show me better." Truly - it's not a question of IF I would be seen by somebody. And they always DO tend to make some comment. I am my mother's daughter - it does make me somehow uncomfortable when people start commenting to me about varying things. For instance, on a run this weekend at the end of mile 4... the old dude who works in facilities is somehow outside while I am running by. I don't recognize him from the man on the moon from afar, but I am always watching and alert when I am on my runs, or doing anything really. I see him doing this weird leg clop thing imitating me running. Now - not to be a snob, but I take great pride lately in the fact that I think my form is pretty good. I immediately feel threatened by some random old dude doing the wild-goose-trot 100 yards away. Just because YOU RECOGNIZE ME from afar (not talking to anyone on my FLIST btw) does not mean I will recognize YOU!!! Eventually I place him and figure out who he is. I don't like much this guy says at work let alone on my off-time, he tends to just annoy me. So I didn't turn down my ipod, or really even respond beyond some random half smile - he babbled something useless and I went on my way. I am thinking - could you just let me run by and enjoy my life to myself?
Regardless. Having a lot of thoughts about life in general. And now that I found clothes I seem to have forgotten them all. In the past year I have done a lot of solo work. I didn't think I'd ever be in a place where SOLITARY work, was what I needed over community work. Somehow it just fell into my lap. Along with that came a few changes from within. Changes that I know originated from me and no where else, as a sole result of the solitary work.
My latest thing is that I want to be more positive. (after telling my cynical story...oops).
Well, I think I will post daily if possible some of the more positive things that happen to me. Trying to celebrate the smaller things rather than sweat them, and bring together a larger picture of my life, rather than the up-close "this happened to me 30 minutes ago and now I'm going to be angry for 3 hours."
I have a lot of trouble letting go, I suggested this previously. It's time for me to work through some of this and see where it takes me. There are a lot of good things that happen, and as is human nature, I focus a LOT on the bad ones. So - as much as I enjoy bitching about my co workers, and people commenting on my accomplishments, and some other laundry list of things... I am really wanting to get out of that pattern and find a new one. After all - Jim sees things a lot brighter than I do, and consequently seems a lot happier. People like happier people, including me. I'd rather like myself more than less - so here goes.
And it is understood that changing anything like lifestyle or mindsets do not come without relapses, without struggle, and without a general sense of challenge. If I can turn myself into a runner, start from very few real push ups to over 100 on any given day, and drop a good portion of my bodyfat, I think I can change my mind once I make up my mind to do this. Patience. perseverance.
-Angela
