6 weeks dreaming
May. 27th, 2008 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakSort of feel like I've fallen asleep and woken up 6 weeks later. And that everything that I have experienced in the last 6 weeks was just one strange incomprehensible dream. Is that weird or what?
I'm not sure, but today my reality feels a little scattered. It's not a negative feeling, but I am just holding my breath that life will return to me a little less scattered. I feel like I'm on the edge of starting a new direction of my old reality. I don't know how else to explain it. But I've got a lot of plans, dreams, hopes, and a lot of things that have to wait right now.
And as much as the last 6 weeks of my life have led me to fight them, I've got to accept them now and learn to do things that can make me feel fulfilled between now and then. Even my home life feels like I've been dreaming it up. It sort of reminds me of a half-nightmare that I've been living. I know that sounds incredibly weird. I can't describe life any other way. I've been pretty depressed.
I don't take myself to be the sort to be depressed over weeks, but I can admit that this has been depression. Trying to climb out of the hole. The good news is that work seems to be a little mild right now. For the moment. Second. Which is good. I need time to decompress.
I have also had someone staying in my house for 4 days straight. ON my couch. IN my common space. Also some new things I've decided to get more involved in.
I need new things, and I need some stuff to help me find my center. I've just been flying by the seat of my pants. It's not a good feeling for me. My old reality is not the one I am leading right now. I can accept that. So here goes. Accepting. Moving on from that.
So here goes some more external stim that is not solo in nature. I've sort of let some important aspects of life go by the wayside in the past year while getting more in tuned with my physical priorities.
My physical priorities are still there.
But right now they're going to have be put on hold for more important things: Healing.
Somewhere along the line physically transferred into emotional hurts.
I'm not sure how or when or anything, but that is what it is. Here's to getting better and better.
Anyone who wants to expend healing energy in this direction; it is welcome.
And for those who already have; many thanks, my dears.
-Angela
I'm not sure, but today my reality feels a little scattered. It's not a negative feeling, but I am just holding my breath that life will return to me a little less scattered. I feel like I'm on the edge of starting a new direction of my old reality. I don't know how else to explain it. But I've got a lot of plans, dreams, hopes, and a lot of things that have to wait right now.
And as much as the last 6 weeks of my life have led me to fight them, I've got to accept them now and learn to do things that can make me feel fulfilled between now and then. Even my home life feels like I've been dreaming it up. It sort of reminds me of a half-nightmare that I've been living. I know that sounds incredibly weird. I can't describe life any other way. I've been pretty depressed.
I don't take myself to be the sort to be depressed over weeks, but I can admit that this has been depression. Trying to climb out of the hole. The good news is that work seems to be a little mild right now. For the moment. Second. Which is good. I need time to decompress.
I have also had someone staying in my house for 4 days straight. ON my couch. IN my common space. Also some new things I've decided to get more involved in.
I need new things, and I need some stuff to help me find my center. I've just been flying by the seat of my pants. It's not a good feeling for me. My old reality is not the one I am leading right now. I can accept that. So here goes. Accepting. Moving on from that.
So here goes some more external stim that is not solo in nature. I've sort of let some important aspects of life go by the wayside in the past year while getting more in tuned with my physical priorities.
My physical priorities are still there.
But right now they're going to have be put on hold for more important things: Healing.
Somewhere along the line physically transferred into emotional hurts.
I'm not sure how or when or anything, but that is what it is. Here's to getting better and better.
Anyone who wants to expend healing energy in this direction; it is welcome.
And for those who already have; many thanks, my dears.
-Angela
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 07:41 pm (UTC)And
Date: 2008-05-27 07:52 pm (UTC)It's invaluable.
-Angela
no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 11:09 pm (UTC)As gently and non-solicitorily as possible I'd like to say that if you ever want to consider a reading I'd be really happy to do it.
Realllly?
Date: 2008-05-27 11:11 pm (UTC)-Angela
Re: Realllly?
Date: 2008-05-27 11:15 pm (UTC)Yeah-depending on what your budget is, most of my readings are $90, but I do an astrology card reading and that's only $35 so that's sometimes more manageable for some people. or it's $30. I can't remember what I set it at, it's on my website.
Anyway, if you wanted to do a reading, I'd suggest we meet at my office so that I can record it for you in a quiet place. But visiting sometime would be fun for social purposes :)
Re: Realllly?
Date: 2008-05-27 11:38 pm (UTC)-Angela
Re: Realllly?
Date: 2008-05-27 11:41 pm (UTC)-Angela
no subject
Date: 2008-05-27 11:41 pm (UTC)I hope things are going in the direction that you want them to be. And of course, I'm sending positive thoughts in your direction.
*hugs*