Brief weekend updates

[angelak]

I really don't have time to post this.
Work and all.
But it's been an entire weekend since I wrote anything at all.
So here goes!

First off, Judy always has talk radio on briefly when she comes in some mornings. I hate talk radio. So I am forced to block it out with my own headphones... blah.
This weekend was a good one. Busy, and stuff? I spent a lot of money compared to what I've been spending the past few months. It sort of felt good! Lol.

I bought a new Yoga bag that has a wet dry compartment and it will be coming in the mail. I find that I am lugging way too much stuff separately and it gets really fucking old, really fast.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Best-WET+DRY-Exercise-Gym-Beach-Yoga-Mat-Bag-Grey-Camo_W0QQitemZ380095661655QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxZ20090109?IMSfp=TL090109119007r21443

Mine will be green camo. Nerdy, maybe. But whatever! Lol.
It will be nice to have a place to store stuff and it is a big improvement than the bag I've been using.
I also convinced Jim to take 1 class with me Saturday. I wanted it to be a Brenna class, but it was someone else because we slept in too much. I'd like him to take ONE more class with Brenna, but I know he doesn't want to go back. He had fun, but he doesn't want to go back. Lol.
He has a new respect for the heat and set up of the classes and told me that it has been a long time since he had to grab his resolve and push through something. As in, the last time he did was in the army on a super long run.

This is reassuring that this is no walk in the park and that is probably why I keep going. I don't like things that are easy. They're just not that appealing to me somehow.

The instructor had him right behind me as a newb so he could get an idea of the poses. He was impressed by how far my stretches and positions have come. And so am I, frankly. I've never been flexible. Until now.

We talked a lot about the experience and Jim was truly glad he went. Right on! There was also something special about having him there, too. But I know what his gig is. He was also shocked how much you sweat. He said even in Iraq at its worst he never sweated this much. I agree, it's insane.
Iraq is dry heat, the class engages in humidity. Like last night in class. It was so much worse than usual (usually I am not too bothered by the heat) but last night it felt insufferable. The humidity was high from a couple of large classes prior to ours.

Last night was a nice mellow class. I have been every day since Thursday when I accidentally fell asleep after work. Congrats to me.

My instructors give me hope because none of the same ones see me consecutively per se. I'd say the last time last night's instructor saw me, was like 7 days ago. So, I think when they see me again in class they see improvements that I cannot see in the day to day. Most of them have been very positive. It feels good to get the tidbits of praise. So Human!!!

I have gotten past the whole “faking the effort” thing and realized that I really AM putting my best in every day. And some days that is a little less than others. I do what I can. I have learned that momentary struggling in some poses is just that. And that other poses will be better. It's really hard to step back and allow yourself not to be the best at everything – for a perfectionist. But that is just what this requires. You cannot be the best at everything, and you cannot do the best at some things every day. It just is not possible. Our bodies, minds, hearts, and fuel inside our bodies change so very much.

I think there are a lot of deeper lessons to this everyday-mayhem. Lessons that (call me insane) some people may never learn... I'm afraid I've opened a door that I cannot close. I don't know how I could live without this in my life, at this point. I know it may not be the everyday-mayhem that is right now, but I know on some level, I want to have this.

I love it and hate it. I'm great and I'm not great. I'm at peace and I'm at war. It's like it opens up the universe inside of me so that I can see everything. But the only way to access it, is by closing everything.

I would never have believed this 4 weeks ago.
As far as my knees? They're much better. I don't kid myself, there are days they are worse than other days. But there are days when they are absolutely fantastic. I don't want to run until I can become convinced that everyday is a fantastic knee day. I've accepted that I'm going to lose training for a while with the running. And that's okay. I've got this Yoga to achieve so much from. And I mean performance wise. Besides. I want that open-free-joints-ligaments-range-of-motion shock when I do get back and hit the pavement. I want to feel stronger than ever before, (although my lungs may hate me) and run stronger.

I predict that when the time is right, everything will fall into place with that.
I cling to my career dreams, and yet I let them go as well.
I'm learning to let go of the idea that my dreams are going to run away and vanish. I know what I want and no amount of time is going to change that.

My body reflects that my mind has found a balance again. I believe my waist is smaller than it may have been when I was running. That's odd. I'm still working on my hips, but they seem to be slowly shrinking as well. I'm working very hard in class at locking out my lower body as best that I can. Some days I walk away with a sore lower half! It makes me laugh.

Yesterday I got closer to getting awkward pose further backwards. This made me happier. I also improved on my standing bow pose. I am opting for slow progress here, because when I try and rush too fast, it all goes to shit. I also made progress on my triangle. It hurt. But it was far better form than usual.

Life is settling in the beginning of 2009. We'll see what the rest of the year brings me.
For now, this focus on the Yoga is intense. I feel like it is hard to do everything I want to do, but I know this balance has got me to a good place to be right now. And it is easier to live in the moment. It all has come without me trying so hard. I am glad I have the year pass until December 2009. Fortunate for me.


-Angela

Comments

[everlastinggoo.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear that yoga is going so well for you. I could never deal with that heat, especially with the humidity part. I have real issues with heat. Its cool that you got Jim to go with you...I can never get the boy to work out with me! Also glad to hear that your knees are improving! :-)

Hey--running question--what's a good time to shoot for to be able to run a mile in? Considering I'm pretty much a noob and all? I timed myself the other day and I can run it pretty comfortably in 11 minutes.

11 minutes

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

11 minutes is just fine if you just started. I think that was probably where I was when I started.

Keep at it and over many, many runs it will improve.
:D

-Angela

Re: very cool!

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Ahhh. Yeah. Every class is different from what I can see as far as Body Odor. Some days are fine. Other days are obnoxious. I get pissed off if I am next to someone gross.

lol.

-Angela