40 year old dude (no, not jonah777)
Apr. 26th, 2009 11:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelak(Cross posted from my facebook note, which I had written to my Yoga instructor a bit as well).
Yesterday morning after my 0730 class, a 40 year old man approached me. I can't remember what his initial comment was - but he said something, "if you're doing this now, you won't be here doing it at 40." And I thought and said, "wait. That's why I'm here. I want to be here - doing this at 40. Because then I won't be hurt if I'm here, doing this at 40."
His point was that because I'm athletic, and if I did the Yoga early now - I wouldn't have to do it later. The whole thing threw me off. Call me indoctrinated (happily) but I figured, once the addiction begins and you see what it does for your life - it becomes more than just "results."
He also asked me what my "sport" was. Well, I don't have a "sport." My sport is improving myself. But I love to run, and got hurt not from running, but jumping - and ended up doing the Yoga. He then told me casually about his marathon running. I've never been a distance runner.
I was a hiker, walker, who experimented one day, and found out that running was doable for me. I was shocked, I had always said, "I can't run. I suck at running. I dont' do that. that's not for me." And then - like Bikram, I fell in love with it. Makes sense - right? We learn that we are stronger than we know.
Needless to say, now days I just run what I can and am beyond blessed in even a 10 minute run. That's what my condition has given me: perspective. And driving home, all I could think about his was off-handed statement about ... running.
Like it was something to be taken for granted, like it was no big deal. I thought - I'll be 40, and appreciate every morsel of ability I have. Because I went through this (frustrating, ridiculous, difficult, long-term, pesky, sometimes insane-making injury) at 23-24. Having changed the whole course of my ego, because the ego gets deflated quickly when things go wrong and your life spirals - and finding Bikram Yoga equated to... essentially, saving me from wandering around and acting like my, or anyone else's physical achievements and any level - are, trivial.
Because now days, I'm happy to stand for more than 20 minutes and not be in pain. Just saying. Not sure why I chose this wall to mention that. It made me think. Nothing wrong with said 40 year old gentleman, it was just obvious that 1- He hasn't figured out that Yoga cannot be "mastered," (other things he said to me alluded to this), and 2- He never went through anything so debilitating that he could not even go for a walk, or climb stairs.
Epiphany that I've gone through stuff that some people never go through. Suffice to say, if it had healed itself in say – 2-3 months, I do not think I would understand so deeply what that lesson really is. And once this goes away (I swear to gods it will, I'm determined) I will always, always be humbled, and lend an ear and heart full of empathy, and sympathy, and understanding for anyone else with physical hardship. Some people have no chance for their conditions to go away. I do.
(And I believe in every fiber of me now, that it will go away). All I have to do is live it. Life is suffering at times. And no – we do not always get what we want. Sometimes we have to redefine what our lifestyle is. Having accepted this, do I love that idea everyday? No. Of course not. I have good days, and bad days – physically, and emotionally surrounding the idea. But the more and more I think about it – the more and more I write about, the more and more I feel the power of my life Will, my hope, my dreams, my strength, and my life coming together.
Anyway. I know he was 40 because he told me. Ahhaha, and he also said that he hadn't “gotten to the point where the Yoga was relaxing.” Well.
If you want relaxing Yoga – guarantee you should try another form? Bikram Yoga really... can be relaxing, but not in the way people envision. I told him, “With Yoga, you can always take it to another level.” So, if you're “relaxing,” it means, you're not trying hard enough. Or, your idea of relaxing is finding your edge. If so – then sure. It's like a warm sandy beach with a Mac and Jac's in hand.
-Angela
Yesterday morning after my 0730 class, a 40 year old man approached me. I can't remember what his initial comment was - but he said something, "if you're doing this now, you won't be here doing it at 40." And I thought and said, "wait. That's why I'm here. I want to be here - doing this at 40. Because then I won't be hurt if I'm here, doing this at 40."
His point was that because I'm athletic, and if I did the Yoga early now - I wouldn't have to do it later. The whole thing threw me off. Call me indoctrinated (happily) but I figured, once the addiction begins and you see what it does for your life - it becomes more than just "results."
He also asked me what my "sport" was. Well, I don't have a "sport." My sport is improving myself. But I love to run, and got hurt not from running, but jumping - and ended up doing the Yoga. He then told me casually about his marathon running. I've never been a distance runner.
I was a hiker, walker, who experimented one day, and found out that running was doable for me. I was shocked, I had always said, "I can't run. I suck at running. I dont' do that. that's not for me." And then - like Bikram, I fell in love with it. Makes sense - right? We learn that we are stronger than we know.
Needless to say, now days I just run what I can and am beyond blessed in even a 10 minute run. That's what my condition has given me: perspective. And driving home, all I could think about his was off-handed statement about ... running.
Like it was something to be taken for granted, like it was no big deal. I thought - I'll be 40, and appreciate every morsel of ability I have. Because I went through this (frustrating, ridiculous, difficult, long-term, pesky, sometimes insane-making injury) at 23-24. Having changed the whole course of my ego, because the ego gets deflated quickly when things go wrong and your life spirals - and finding Bikram Yoga equated to... essentially, saving me from wandering around and acting like my, or anyone else's physical achievements and any level - are, trivial.
Because now days, I'm happy to stand for more than 20 minutes and not be in pain. Just saying. Not sure why I chose this wall to mention that. It made me think. Nothing wrong with said 40 year old gentleman, it was just obvious that 1- He hasn't figured out that Yoga cannot be "mastered," (other things he said to me alluded to this), and 2- He never went through anything so debilitating that he could not even go for a walk, or climb stairs.
Epiphany that I've gone through stuff that some people never go through. Suffice to say, if it had healed itself in say – 2-3 months, I do not think I would understand so deeply what that lesson really is. And once this goes away (I swear to gods it will, I'm determined) I will always, always be humbled, and lend an ear and heart full of empathy, and sympathy, and understanding for anyone else with physical hardship. Some people have no chance for their conditions to go away. I do.
(And I believe in every fiber of me now, that it will go away). All I have to do is live it. Life is suffering at times. And no – we do not always get what we want. Sometimes we have to redefine what our lifestyle is. Having accepted this, do I love that idea everyday? No. Of course not. I have good days, and bad days – physically, and emotionally surrounding the idea. But the more and more I think about it – the more and more I write about, the more and more I feel the power of my life Will, my hope, my dreams, my strength, and my life coming together.
Anyway. I know he was 40 because he told me. Ahhaha, and he also said that he hadn't “gotten to the point where the Yoga was relaxing.” Well.
If you want relaxing Yoga – guarantee you should try another form? Bikram Yoga really... can be relaxing, but not in the way people envision. I told him, “With Yoga, you can always take it to another level.” So, if you're “relaxing,” it means, you're not trying hard enough. Or, your idea of relaxing is finding your edge. If so – then sure. It's like a warm sandy beach with a Mac and Jac's in hand.
-Angela
