Technicalities

[angelak]

Been trucking along here at work this week; first week back. It's not so bad at the moment. I'm glad to be getting things accomplished, but I'm apprehensive with Sharepoint mostly because I'm not really that awesome at it, and it has now become my sole 2009 project.

Alone.

And design has never been a strong point of mine. I'm artistic; but my art is more word oriented. I'm a writer at heart. Patience through visual design really has never been my thing. In fact, I'm usually repulsed. But, if I try and frame it as “administrative,” it becomes more interesting I suppose. Usually that stuff feels cool when I remember what it is I am doing or can devote myself 100% to it while learning. I am learning, that's it; I'm in the middle of learning it. Problem is that I end up being pulled off the task by the rest of my day to day help request sort of items.

Which I enjoy because it involves the entire reason I have enjoyed IT: People.
I like interaction with people, and that is why I have excelled at IT support.
People like me, I like people (mostly).

I try to be the best I can and do the best I can for people, because that's part of who I am.
But then I get this project that has nothing to do with people – and it has an artsy flair. Every time I've tried to do web design, it face planted. It isn't that I don't know HOW to web design. It's that it feels like ripping out my teeth, one by one.

:( How do I get around this?
Judy had good ideas about making my beta site about the things I care about:
Turning it into my own powerful resource for fitness articles, you know:
Running, Yoga, Hiking, Weight training...

When she put that spin on it, I was more excited. My problem? I feel like Sharepoint is easy and yet not so easy all at once. I can put up any old site. But I guess in regards to trying to launch a fully open site for AllCity(tm) I begin to choke on the notion.

I have 6 more months. In these 6 months I also have to make sure I keep up with my end user support, as well as deploy half the number of machines as last year – but that still is going to take a nice chunk of my time. I also want to shift the city over to Office 2007.

So – how can I learn, design, and deploy in 6 months with all these other things? I'm not having fun with this idea. And the Sharepoint deployment sort of came at me – out of left field. I understand what my boss was doing with it:

Trying to keep my job dynamic
Giving me a more indispensable job that can shift and become a higher level position -
That also would require mostly sitting instead of what I do now

But shoot. :(
Complexities?
Getting it done, and finding a way to like it.
It sounds like some isolation to me, along with my weakest technical side
Web *DESIGN*

Gods, I feel so much like there has to be a better place for me to be one day.
Deep within me, I feel like a stale, 24 year old - out to pasture in municipal work.
But I've grown up in some shitty financial positions and right now, I'm doing pretty well financially. I don't want to give up stability for something that ends up exploding in my face. That is what happened to my Dad time and time again.

There are a lot of people who talk about moving about with such ease. But my childhood stigma is just this. Every time he made a move, it seemed to blow up in the face of my family. This led to hardships that have shaped me to be who I am today.
When the elements are right and the time is right - I will know when to move on. For now, I can only go with what my gut tells me. And my gut tells me one day there will be things for me that will make me feel alive again in the workplace. For now, I get to work with this project that is essentially putting me, (the square,) in a round hole.

Fucknuggets.

-Angela

Comments

[kdana.livejournal.com]

*still waiting on thoughts about Eden's.....*

I know this is probably not helpful, but: Something I noticed with jobs and everything in life, really, is that sometimes things don't make sense until everything falls into place. New and amazing opportunities (work-wise, or not) that you didn't expect and yet somehow you've been preparing for it by whatever you were doing has been one of those things. Then you look back and it's like... "How did THAT happen?"

Just... I don't know... felt like talking or something!

Says

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Says the woman who has not been at a job for 7 years and counting.
:)

hahaha.

-Angela

Frankly?

[kdana.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I will ever be that woman.

Maybe if it's something that's constantly shifting or perhaps in a situation where I have my own business.. (and that fun-sounding job of parenting one day)... but otherwise? I don't know about that.

Re: Frankly?

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

That's what I mean.
It's an entirely different sort of life situations.
I'm not saying you'd EVER be that person. And honestly - it's not like there are scores of folks that do end up on that path.

Initially, my post is definitely indicitive that part of what causes me to be this way - is because when my Dad made job shifts, it always ended in serious financial hardship that was... well, not exactly "middle class" living circumstance. Therefore, as an adult, I tend to shy away from making shifts.

See what I mean?
That's sort of the jist of what I was saying.

I don't think that any person should, or it's better or worse than shifting. At all. There is no better or worse. Pros and cons to everything. Know what I means?

I hope it didn't seem liek I was being a bitch :P
We can both agree for sure that you and I though - have entirely different life operations going on - and different upbringings for sure.

-Angela

Re: Frankly?

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

And to add to that. That is what makes it so interesting to hear your perspectives.

-Angela