Thoughts for food
May. 8th, 2009 05:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakBeen messing around with Sharepoint today. Okay.
So I know how to move about with it. I guess I better create a page for every department.
And then add a couple for my own personal joys.
End of next week's goal: Set up all departmental pages.
Create my own fitness page.
Play in fitness page and make myself like it.
Otherwise today has gone well.
Lunch hour treated me nicely with a run down Gilman and Front street.
Found a way to also whip together a tuna melt on lunch.
Now I have an hour left until I am free for three days.
The weekend is as planned:
Saturday morning early in the AM head out with Mom and Grandma to the Casino (Grandma loves gambling, loves getting out of the house). Try and leave in time to go to Mass.
TRY AND hit up SoulFood Books for Bone Poets. Wonder if I will see my lover?
Sunday take Mom out for lunch or dinner.
Monday I have plans with Jonnie to do a run.
I told him specifically my routine and that I'm cool with taking more walk breaks – but I will not push. I don't THINK we'll have an issue with pace. But I don't know what to expect with Jonnie. I've never run with him before. I've only run with Jim.
I feel like every time I try a running partner out, it's like dating for the first time.
:P
Here's to hoping it goes well. I'd love an energetic and adorable running partner.
Jim is both, but he doesn't WANT to go with me that much. It's an exception, not the rule. Jonnie is different.
I do really like my solitude though.
I also put my foot down; I refuse to try new routes. Other routes have backfired on me with slope. Slope is the #1 bad aggravation on my tendons. (Sad, because I adore hill running, call me a fucking nutcase, but it FEELS.So.GOOD.)
And traaaail running annnd...
Anyways. I'll stick with what I can do.
Regardless – stoked to be alive and running and breathing. Today I was acutely aware of springtime beauty. And for a wintertime runner, it's amazing to jump back in and be in the vitality of spring in full swing.
Today a local old dude I was familiar with from my old neighborhood was rolling along on his motorized wheelchair. And he made my day, both times I ran by him he chanted encouragingly at me as I went by. How adorable and how motivating. I love elderfolks. And there have been a few who really made minor comments that spoke so much to me when I was out on runs.
Thanks old dudes! You rock.
Also on my run today I was acutely in contemplation of my instinctual gut being my running partner, and personal trainer. Push when my innate brain knows it is OK, and pull back the moment that tiny voice in my head whispers caution. And the idea and words, “Gut as my partner,” came to mind.
And I wanted to record it because I loved it.
Don't let the ego master your training, let your gut instincts pave the way.
I've had a lot of chances to understand my ego and how it can be good and bad.
My ego has been around with my running path. I was afraid to admit I was runner for about a year. I didn't want to be a poser. I didn't want to be a fake.
I wanted to have some training under my belt, before I even talked about it to anybody.
It was Mel – an old high school friend who called me a runner first. And when she bought me my first running jacket for Yule one year – it made me feel like I had to fulfill what she had said. And then one day I woke up and said, “damnit, I'm a runner!”
And it secrely gave me motivation that she had gotten me a piece of equipment as I saw it – instead of my boyfriend's old army warmups with his social on the waistband and random cotton t shirts.
My favorite wintertime outfit before this had been Jim's old army sweats and a Panasonic toughbook t shirt with a fleece coat over top of that. I ran in that outfit day after day (washing it constantly) through December 2006, January 2007, February 2007, March 2007... day in and out.
Digression: Ego.
My ego built when my abilities grew stronger than I knew were possible. I did this running thing as an “experiment.”
Everything I do is an experiment, until I build confidence. I keep my first trials of things quite private. Until they become full and huge facets of my life that I can't imagine living without.
IE- Yoga, Hiking, Running, Swimming, my food.
Anyways, with running my ego grew and as I developed a figure I'd never had as a young girl or adolescent, my ego grew. I'm not saying I was arrogant, but I think I can admit I was pretty pleased with myself. It was a strong and valuable force. At the same time I have a large ego, it's also somewhat small. I under-estimate my skill in most cases, and don't understand what I have until it gets seriously robbed from me. And then I'm heart broken at how much I didn't see.
I'm growing to realize that the ego can be helpful if only hanging out in the side lines. I am no better than anyone else, I am not more glamorous than anyone else, I struggle, fall, get up, and succeed just like everyone else. And that gives me solace. The Ego HAS been known to push me harder. When I see my goals closer and people that remind me of my goals, I push harder, I work stronger.
But as long as it is balanced with humility, appreciation, and understanding – ego cannot take over and ruin the beauty of what it is to be talented at anything.
-Angela
So I know how to move about with it. I guess I better create a page for every department.
And then add a couple for my own personal joys.
End of next week's goal: Set up all departmental pages.
Create my own fitness page.
Play in fitness page and make myself like it.
Otherwise today has gone well.
Lunch hour treated me nicely with a run down Gilman and Front street.
Found a way to also whip together a tuna melt on lunch.
Now I have an hour left until I am free for three days.
The weekend is as planned:
Saturday morning early in the AM head out with Mom and Grandma to the Casino (Grandma loves gambling, loves getting out of the house). Try and leave in time to go to Mass.
TRY AND hit up SoulFood Books for Bone Poets. Wonder if I will see my lover?
Sunday take Mom out for lunch or dinner.
Monday I have plans with Jonnie to do a run.
I told him specifically my routine and that I'm cool with taking more walk breaks – but I will not push. I don't THINK we'll have an issue with pace. But I don't know what to expect with Jonnie. I've never run with him before. I've only run with Jim.
I feel like every time I try a running partner out, it's like dating for the first time.
:P
Here's to hoping it goes well. I'd love an energetic and adorable running partner.
Jim is both, but he doesn't WANT to go with me that much. It's an exception, not the rule. Jonnie is different.
I do really like my solitude though.
I also put my foot down; I refuse to try new routes. Other routes have backfired on me with slope. Slope is the #1 bad aggravation on my tendons. (Sad, because I adore hill running, call me a fucking nutcase, but it FEELS.So.GOOD.)
And traaaail running annnd...
Anyways. I'll stick with what I can do.
Regardless – stoked to be alive and running and breathing. Today I was acutely aware of springtime beauty. And for a wintertime runner, it's amazing to jump back in and be in the vitality of spring in full swing.
Today a local old dude I was familiar with from my old neighborhood was rolling along on his motorized wheelchair. And he made my day, both times I ran by him he chanted encouragingly at me as I went by. How adorable and how motivating. I love elderfolks. And there have been a few who really made minor comments that spoke so much to me when I was out on runs.
Thanks old dudes! You rock.
Also on my run today I was acutely in contemplation of my instinctual gut being my running partner, and personal trainer. Push when my innate brain knows it is OK, and pull back the moment that tiny voice in my head whispers caution. And the idea and words, “Gut as my partner,” came to mind.
And I wanted to record it because I loved it.
Don't let the ego master your training, let your gut instincts pave the way.
I've had a lot of chances to understand my ego and how it can be good and bad.
My ego has been around with my running path. I was afraid to admit I was runner for about a year. I didn't want to be a poser. I didn't want to be a fake.
I wanted to have some training under my belt, before I even talked about it to anybody.
It was Mel – an old high school friend who called me a runner first. And when she bought me my first running jacket for Yule one year – it made me feel like I had to fulfill what she had said. And then one day I woke up and said, “damnit, I'm a runner!”
And it secrely gave me motivation that she had gotten me a piece of equipment as I saw it – instead of my boyfriend's old army warmups with his social on the waistband and random cotton t shirts.
My favorite wintertime outfit before this had been Jim's old army sweats and a Panasonic toughbook t shirt with a fleece coat over top of that. I ran in that outfit day after day (washing it constantly) through December 2006, January 2007, February 2007, March 2007... day in and out.
Digression: Ego.
My ego built when my abilities grew stronger than I knew were possible. I did this running thing as an “experiment.”
Everything I do is an experiment, until I build confidence. I keep my first trials of things quite private. Until they become full and huge facets of my life that I can't imagine living without.
IE- Yoga, Hiking, Running, Swimming, my food.
Anyways, with running my ego grew and as I developed a figure I'd never had as a young girl or adolescent, my ego grew. I'm not saying I was arrogant, but I think I can admit I was pretty pleased with myself. It was a strong and valuable force. At the same time I have a large ego, it's also somewhat small. I under-estimate my skill in most cases, and don't understand what I have until it gets seriously robbed from me. And then I'm heart broken at how much I didn't see.
I'm growing to realize that the ego can be helpful if only hanging out in the side lines. I am no better than anyone else, I am not more glamorous than anyone else, I struggle, fall, get up, and succeed just like everyone else. And that gives me solace. The Ego HAS been known to push me harder. When I see my goals closer and people that remind me of my goals, I push harder, I work stronger.
But as long as it is balanced with humility, appreciation, and understanding – ego cannot take over and ruin the beauty of what it is to be talented at anything.
-Angela
