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angelak6 weeks and counting. In 6 weeks from now, I will be on a flight to Los Angeles, and embarking on what I am now dubbing as the biggest thing that has happened in my life. Freshly 27 - possibly this shift is related to my Saturn Return - which only recently did I realize does not always happen at exactly "30." Saturn Return can happen anywhere between 27-30. Oops. Misinformed much????
Whatever the case, the powers of the Universe, and my heart of hearts has deemed THIS my important new gateway into the next phase of my life. While I will still be at Issaquah, I am not sure what the other side of training looks like. I just know that in spite of my home-struggle with the dreaded Dialogue ... I think that no matter what, I'll find my way with it all. I haven't made much progress... life happens at home.
There are so many student teachers that have already prepared and will be no doubt getting more sleep and spare time than me, because... they'll have more Dialogue ahead of time. It's apparent that my fight with this shouldn't need to be a fight. No more fighting.
Just allowing.
So, 6 weeks from now, I will be on the threshold of meeting Bikram himself. I hope he doesn't choose me as one of his favorite "sweethearts to pick on" during class, but I know eventually everyone gets singled out? It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I'll survive it somehow. Even if that means tears are streaming down my face in pain pushing through the hips in triangle........
I desperately hope I never puke in class, also. ;)
Also, I have a possible room mate ahead of time now, which was something I had not planned on!!! She contacted ME. I was letting the Universe bring me the right person. Well, I didn't specify to the Universe whether that was ahead of time or not, and a woman named Karen Wong from Vancouver sent me an email. I was being a tool-shed (dork) and checking my smart phone at 2AM like I sometimes do... and in came a facebook message from Karen Wong. I woke up and read it curiously, in a half sleep state. My gut whispered at me. "This is promising." The big key for me was when she claimed she's clean and easy going...
Also, she's an interior designer in her non-Hogwarts/yoga bubble life. Hey - sounds balancing to me. I'm right brained and tech centric. This woman sounds artsy. I need more artsy in my life.
Also, she weighs 102lbs soaking wet... at 5 feet tall. Now, I have a "I'm a sturdy girl" complex to varying degrees. It went away when I actually hit 138lbs and maintained it for a few months... it was even gone when I was maintaining my current ideal, anywhere in the 140s. But right now I am riding around the low 150s, and (much to my dismay) I think I'm slowly getting over it and returning to previous mentalities (back when 160 was normal for me). 160 is no longer normal for me. I will not be weighing myself AT all when I am gone (first off, weight flunctuates SO MUCH in training because of water retention/losing it so fast in class). Like 10lbs. No... I'm intending on dropping that pre-occupation entirely while I am gone. And the fact that my potential roomie will literally be that tiny person I always look at like foreign objects and wonder "what's it like to go through life so petite?" (I love my height, don't get me wrong). 5'9 is pretty awesome. But I'm your Athena curve chica. I was happiest when I was pretty tight and square shaped :P I will always have an ass. Genetics dictate that much. Good news? My abs can tone up pretty easily though, and some people have THAT genetic issue...
The word CLEAN jumped out of the tiny screen like a sign-post signaling that THIS was the kind of woman I could handle sharing a room with. Also... something about the first name struck a cord. Oh wait, Karen is my first name, too. But it wouldn't be confusing... because I don't USE my first name. :D
I lay awake after that. And then I finally got up because my soul was like, "Email her back. I think this is the one." Okay, I'm woo-woo here, it was that clair-audient voice that landed me with the most amazing partner and love of my life - Jim. And before Jim, it landed me with another beautiful creature in my life: Fritz. Same voice was whispering to me about Karen. Annnnd now to all ya'll I sound like I hear voices. My pagan/energetic/otherwise woo-woo friends understand ;)
You get the point. I don't ignore that voice any longer. I don't know what it is about this lady yet, but I am SO hoping we'll become fast friends, and that she is just who I need to shoulder a certain part of my journey!!! (As vice versa). We emailed back and forth the next day after she read my initial response. She sounds sassy, easy going - but full of personality. That's a plus for me. I'm full of it too. Full of it indeed!!! So full of it people are noticing on the FB group for Fall 2011 group that I don't shut up. ;) Just wait until I have a microphone in my hand???
I can't help it. While I'll be terribly nervous about botching the dialogue... I love being in front of people. I have felt that way since my beginning here on Earth. Not looking for ego boosting, I just love being in front of people.
But don't worry. I know training will scare the crap out of me, in spite of my love of this sort of thing. I'm not predicting anything yet. I know that even reciting the dialogue for my sweetheart has been enough to make me speak too fast, forget words, and generally suck.
I have been thinking about all.things.yogateachertraining all month. I can't seem to get it off my mind. Going to work in tech support has been something I do while I'm scheming in my head about how awesome it will be to go somewhere else... I'm not saying I don't love my IT job. I do... and I'm even over the fact that my favorite part of the job - working in the police department, has been handed over to a woman who gave birth to my best friend, but in other respects is not favorite human in the world. I won't say anything else negative because this is a public post.... all the real snark is friends-locked. I will say this in her favor: her son is my chosen brother and I adore him. So thank you, Julie - for giving the world this guy. He's a good one. I had no idea in Fall 2002 that the only other student my age in college was going to be this kind of friend. I mean - we hit it off as pals fast because we were both profane, 16, and constantly cracking jokes while we weren't studying. It didn't hurt that at 16 we wanted to roll around Redmond, Washington in our shitty cars mock-racing. Yes, I admit it. We weren't dangerous. But we enjoyed making the wealthy people scoff at us. (Shouting out our windows at each other and engine revving.) A parents' nightmare maybe? When you spend all that time studying and being adult at 16... I think we earned a little wrecklessness. Especially when you see some of those Beamer drivers getting angry.
Now of course, Travis and I are much more mature. He has a 1 year old!!!! I hope I don't miss Conner's first birthday... I think his first birthday is the day before I fly out!! Which comes to one other irony.
Bikram is visiting Seattle on September 17th for the first time in like 10 years. On Sept 17... the day before I fly to his training in Los Angeles. Today I am writing out Los Angeles, instead of LA. Just to make it real that I'm GOING THERE! AND STAYING THERE! For 9 weeks. And these 9 weeks will be the shortest and LONGEST weeks of my entire life.
Doesn't matter! Why would I want it to go any other way, considering the massive amount I've invested in the investment. No need to want to rush home and have it over with. Seeing as I'm notorious for impatience of achievement. That's how someone like me ends up with a career type job at the age of 18, and at the age of 27 - about a decade of real world job experience. It isn't through slow and patient movements through the World. I'm a little frightened that this training is about to expose EVERY issue I have with life and clue-by-four me. It isn't known to be gentle. But then again, maybe it's in step with the rest of how I do things: not so gentle, but 9 weeks is a short period of time to bring these things about after all. Maybe some people spend a couple decades figuring their issues out, and this is a 9 week fast track - with an Indian Yoga drill Sgt pressing it out? Who knows.
Doesn't matter. It's mine as an experience to enjoy. And I know one of my favorite parts of experiences is... sharing them with people. So, 6 weeks to go. I have ideas about trying to stay fed. It's irritating to me that the food part is so shitty. There are indeed just 3 microwaves for all the hotel guests. Yes. You read that right. Not in the rooms. I will be bringing my high powered blender. I intend on green smoothies when I can and not buying everything from the hotel for food - can you imagine the cost in that?!?!? I also thought about my crockpot. What better way to make food in bulk for myself, and not actually have to cook. It's annoying that I don't really eat meat much these days... so it will be like veggie stew I guess? I need to talk to my Mom about this. Any great veggie stew ideas, Mom? etc.
And I will be breaking their rules by bringing a hot plate. No major appliances are allowed, but you know what? I will just hide my stuff from the cleaning staff. I hope if Karen becomes my roomie, she will embrace my rule breaking style on these rules. I can handle the rest of the rules, but you are not going to
A- Separate me from my Blentec
B- Make me buy my food from the damn hotel
C- Have me eating processed foods for 9 weeks and expect my body to perform at its peak....
Oh, and the mini fridge, will be shared with my roomie.
Try and fit a week's worth of food into a mini fridge split 2 ways? Great.
Perhaps eating a half raw lifestyle will make this easier. I don't intend on being high raw over there, but I do intend on eating lots of fruits and veggies - when I am not eating nuts (hah) and whatever else I feel like eating... 3 hours of yoga daily is no joke. Along with the business of posture clinics. AKA, Dialogue clinics.
Although yesterday the notion of no more driving to get to yoga class... that's awesome.
Also remembering Vegas and how I had a roomie there (for Conscious Growth Workshop 5) and while she was teh BEST chica ever (holla to Gloria from Dallas/Ft Worth) - I was ready to go home to my own space.
Reality check, Angela - 9 weeks. Not 5 days ;)
I admit, Gloria was the most awesome. She didn't even mind Sasha crashing with us for a night or two... (well come on. The Russian is likable).
Regardless, just getting anxious (as in, one half of me wants training to hurry up and get here) and then the other side of me is like. Oh, good. 6 weeks. I can still get some memorizing done... thank gods there is still 6 weeks!
News is finally trickling out. I'm no longer playing it close to the chest anymore, I am talking about it. Hard not to talk about it at this point. Bikram has my money, did I mention? It's okay, I'll make more money. That and it's on my mind practically 24/7.
One other piece of exciting news: A clothing company in Vancouver (there it is, BC coming up again) has a teacher trainee sponsorship program. Basically they give you free clothes to prance around in, pass out a few cards, and snap a few photos. I AM SO EXCITED!!! I signed up, they're sponsoring me. First off, I just wanted to write that someone is sponsoring me. Something about that feels NEAT! ;)
Second off... the recommended # of sets of clothing for yoga is 11, to bring with you. 11 shorts, 11 bras because I have breasts and it's not appropriate to go without. (ew anyway.) Last thing you want in standing separate leg stretching pose is your knockers giving you a black eye, right? For the record, 11 sets of anything is a lot. And that costs $$$.
I'm pretty well set, although considering buying 1-2 more pairs of shakti shorts......... ($92 for 2 after shipping)......
I have 6 pair that I've amassed, and then I have lower cost other shorts. I will have to do a total count sooner (3 weeks from now) just to be sure. I also fleshed out my sports bras. ANYWAY, http://www.lightactivewear.com/ is the company. And they are (IN THE MAIL NOW) sending me 1 pair of shorts, 1 bra, and 1 tanktop. Normally $150. Cost me $25, shipping.
EXCITING. ;)
Other pieces of minor excitements...
(Since other posts have been panic posts)...
1- I look forward to not wearing any make up for the majority of 9 weeks. I love make up, do not get me wrong. But... jeah.
2- No more stinging eyes in pada-hastana because of make up or the make up remover...
3- Also, I won't be using my standard tinted moisturizer. Hoping to study dialogue outside by the pool in the sun though, if there is time for that! Fingers crossed...
Or studying my dialogue anywhere. I just feel like the expanses of time and focus will be huge compared to at home, even if people say it isn't that plentiful. I am taking advice of a lot of people and trusting 100% in the process.
111%...
Also, going away party/birthday party looks pretty rad!
And Jim's Dad is visiting from the 15-25th or something. He purposely scheduled it so that I could see him before I left - because I was sad I was going to miss it! (He is coming from Lubbock, TX). Barry is one of my favorite people too... Jim told him I was bummed because before he changed his plans around a bit, he was going to JUST miss me. <3
I don't know, my favorite parts of Barry are most of the things that I can see inherently transferred straight to Jim. While he wasn't a full time Dad, mannerisms, attitudes, and otherwise other adorable traits were certainly passed from Barry to Jim. Particularly the cuteness factor. The laughter and positive outlook on life. It's hard not to have fun with Barry. Same with Jim. It is extremely awesome to live with someone who makes things fun.
I also get the feeling that leaving for 9 weeks on a total life changing journey will have me coming back to a stronger relationship somehow. But I can't say for sure. I think he will definitely see what I do while I am home, and perhaps miss that a bit ;) Particularly the big loud mouth chatter bit. Can you imagine living with ME for like 3-4 years, and then all the sudden, 9 weeks of silence? Whoa. I think he moved in with me in 2007... yes. August 1st, 2007 to be exact. His birthday.
Since then, I have been gone for the longest of 2 weeks. ;)
It's gonna be interesting, to say for sure. He has already informed me I will be getting male attention from hot male yogis while I am gone. I've informed him any sexual interest on the road is, as far as I can predict... not high on my list of priorities. (seeing as I'm sorta going away to find myself by choice).
It does make it easier that I'm polyamorous, so if anything should "happen," it's not the end of the World. But it's not really in my brain forefront. I hadn't even thought of it till he brought it up.
*shrugs*
There is one hope. I'm hoping to regain the pre-08 injury confidence I lost by the time I come back. There was a short period in my entire life where I actually had body confidence! It's been a while.
;) No expectations though at this point, or even later on. Mentally preparing for people to be rude and tear down at me in unexpected ways, though. Particularly in posture clinic. But at least I'll eat up the mic time even if they tell me I suck! Hahaha! Fuck you guys! I have the mic! ;) All they want, verbatim dialogue.
Anywho. That's where my brain is right at this moment.
Also a week or so ago a guy I've crushed on for like 3 years asked me out. Bonus.
That same week someone else was mocking me for not being promiscuous enough as a poly person. Um, sorry.
Poly to me does not mean "sleep with anyone that breathes." Ew. I've got standards and priorities, people. Selective, yes. That and at times, a little private about it. (As I write it here in my blog, sheesh). This person was quite possibly trying to get down my pants. The easy way to land on my DNL (do not lay) list, is to tell me how I should be, or to mock my choices at all. I'll be your friend, but good luck getting anything else out of me. If you want a whore, go find someone else, yo. That's not me. ;)
Guess I should end this on some non-poly note... Um...
IT IS SATURDAY! And maybe I should have already gone to yoga this morning. But I didn't yet. If I go to noon, I can still hit a Linda class! Also. My "in class" panics I was having early July have passed. I'm okay with my best that I got and I am realizing... I'll cope with the hotter, more Bikram conditions when I get there. No use ranking on myself about how I suck.... this is Yoga for gods'sake. Do what I can and STFU.
Lastly... I just found another nice-with-great-reviews-yoga-short-website. (How's that for a run on). Looks like I can get some Mika shorts (2 pairs) for $75 including shipping. There are some fold-over ones that look decent and say "great for skinny and bloated days..." Might be great "I'm-bleeding-out-of-my-crotch" day shorts. Always nice to not feel cowish when you're not wearing much in a hot room. Just saying. ;) lol.
-Angela
Whatever the case, the powers of the Universe, and my heart of hearts has deemed THIS my important new gateway into the next phase of my life. While I will still be at Issaquah, I am not sure what the other side of training looks like. I just know that in spite of my home-struggle with the dreaded Dialogue ... I think that no matter what, I'll find my way with it all. I haven't made much progress... life happens at home.
There are so many student teachers that have already prepared and will be no doubt getting more sleep and spare time than me, because... they'll have more Dialogue ahead of time. It's apparent that my fight with this shouldn't need to be a fight. No more fighting.
Just allowing.
So, 6 weeks from now, I will be on the threshold of meeting Bikram himself. I hope he doesn't choose me as one of his favorite "sweethearts to pick on" during class, but I know eventually everyone gets singled out? It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I'll survive it somehow. Even if that means tears are streaming down my face in pain pushing through the hips in triangle........
I desperately hope I never puke in class, also. ;)
Also, I have a possible room mate ahead of time now, which was something I had not planned on!!! She contacted ME. I was letting the Universe bring me the right person. Well, I didn't specify to the Universe whether that was ahead of time or not, and a woman named Karen Wong from Vancouver sent me an email. I was being a tool-shed (dork) and checking my smart phone at 2AM like I sometimes do... and in came a facebook message from Karen Wong. I woke up and read it curiously, in a half sleep state. My gut whispered at me. "This is promising." The big key for me was when she claimed she's clean and easy going...
Also, she's an interior designer in her non-Hogwarts/yoga bubble life. Hey - sounds balancing to me. I'm right brained and tech centric. This woman sounds artsy. I need more artsy in my life.
Also, she weighs 102lbs soaking wet... at 5 feet tall. Now, I have a "I'm a sturdy girl" complex to varying degrees. It went away when I actually hit 138lbs and maintained it for a few months... it was even gone when I was maintaining my current ideal, anywhere in the 140s. But right now I am riding around the low 150s, and (much to my dismay) I think I'm slowly getting over it and returning to previous mentalities (back when 160 was normal for me). 160 is no longer normal for me. I will not be weighing myself AT all when I am gone (first off, weight flunctuates SO MUCH in training because of water retention/losing it so fast in class). Like 10lbs. No... I'm intending on dropping that pre-occupation entirely while I am gone. And the fact that my potential roomie will literally be that tiny person I always look at like foreign objects and wonder "what's it like to go through life so petite?" (I love my height, don't get me wrong). 5'9 is pretty awesome. But I'm your Athena curve chica. I was happiest when I was pretty tight and square shaped :P I will always have an ass. Genetics dictate that much. Good news? My abs can tone up pretty easily though, and some people have THAT genetic issue...
The word CLEAN jumped out of the tiny screen like a sign-post signaling that THIS was the kind of woman I could handle sharing a room with. Also... something about the first name struck a cord. Oh wait, Karen is my first name, too. But it wouldn't be confusing... because I don't USE my first name. :D
I lay awake after that. And then I finally got up because my soul was like, "Email her back. I think this is the one." Okay, I'm woo-woo here, it was that clair-audient voice that landed me with the most amazing partner and love of my life - Jim. And before Jim, it landed me with another beautiful creature in my life: Fritz. Same voice was whispering to me about Karen. Annnnd now to all ya'll I sound like I hear voices. My pagan/energetic/otherwise woo-woo friends understand ;)
You get the point. I don't ignore that voice any longer. I don't know what it is about this lady yet, but I am SO hoping we'll become fast friends, and that she is just who I need to shoulder a certain part of my journey!!! (As vice versa). We emailed back and forth the next day after she read my initial response. She sounds sassy, easy going - but full of personality. That's a plus for me. I'm full of it too. Full of it indeed!!! So full of it people are noticing on the FB group for Fall 2011 group that I don't shut up. ;) Just wait until I have a microphone in my hand???
I can't help it. While I'll be terribly nervous about botching the dialogue... I love being in front of people. I have felt that way since my beginning here on Earth. Not looking for ego boosting, I just love being in front of people.
But don't worry. I know training will scare the crap out of me, in spite of my love of this sort of thing. I'm not predicting anything yet. I know that even reciting the dialogue for my sweetheart has been enough to make me speak too fast, forget words, and generally suck.
I have been thinking about all.things.yogateachertraining all month. I can't seem to get it off my mind. Going to work in tech support has been something I do while I'm scheming in my head about how awesome it will be to go somewhere else... I'm not saying I don't love my IT job. I do... and I'm even over the fact that my favorite part of the job - working in the police department, has been handed over to a woman who gave birth to my best friend, but in other respects is not favorite human in the world. I won't say anything else negative because this is a public post.... all the real snark is friends-locked. I will say this in her favor: her son is my chosen brother and I adore him. So thank you, Julie - for giving the world this guy. He's a good one. I had no idea in Fall 2002 that the only other student my age in college was going to be this kind of friend. I mean - we hit it off as pals fast because we were both profane, 16, and constantly cracking jokes while we weren't studying. It didn't hurt that at 16 we wanted to roll around Redmond, Washington in our shitty cars mock-racing. Yes, I admit it. We weren't dangerous. But we enjoyed making the wealthy people scoff at us. (Shouting out our windows at each other and engine revving.) A parents' nightmare maybe? When you spend all that time studying and being adult at 16... I think we earned a little wrecklessness. Especially when you see some of those Beamer drivers getting angry.
Now of course, Travis and I are much more mature. He has a 1 year old!!!! I hope I don't miss Conner's first birthday... I think his first birthday is the day before I fly out!! Which comes to one other irony.
Bikram is visiting Seattle on September 17th for the first time in like 10 years. On Sept 17... the day before I fly to his training in Los Angeles. Today I am writing out Los Angeles, instead of LA. Just to make it real that I'm GOING THERE! AND STAYING THERE! For 9 weeks. And these 9 weeks will be the shortest and LONGEST weeks of my entire life.
Doesn't matter! Why would I want it to go any other way, considering the massive amount I've invested in the investment. No need to want to rush home and have it over with. Seeing as I'm notorious for impatience of achievement. That's how someone like me ends up with a career type job at the age of 18, and at the age of 27 - about a decade of real world job experience. It isn't through slow and patient movements through the World. I'm a little frightened that this training is about to expose EVERY issue I have with life and clue-by-four me. It isn't known to be gentle. But then again, maybe it's in step with the rest of how I do things: not so gentle, but 9 weeks is a short period of time to bring these things about after all. Maybe some people spend a couple decades figuring their issues out, and this is a 9 week fast track - with an Indian Yoga drill Sgt pressing it out? Who knows.
Doesn't matter. It's mine as an experience to enjoy. And I know one of my favorite parts of experiences is... sharing them with people. So, 6 weeks to go. I have ideas about trying to stay fed. It's irritating to me that the food part is so shitty. There are indeed just 3 microwaves for all the hotel guests. Yes. You read that right. Not in the rooms. I will be bringing my high powered blender. I intend on green smoothies when I can and not buying everything from the hotel for food - can you imagine the cost in that?!?!? I also thought about my crockpot. What better way to make food in bulk for myself, and not actually have to cook. It's annoying that I don't really eat meat much these days... so it will be like veggie stew I guess? I need to talk to my Mom about this. Any great veggie stew ideas, Mom? etc.
And I will be breaking their rules by bringing a hot plate. No major appliances are allowed, but you know what? I will just hide my stuff from the cleaning staff. I hope if Karen becomes my roomie, she will embrace my rule breaking style on these rules. I can handle the rest of the rules, but you are not going to
A- Separate me from my Blentec
B- Make me buy my food from the damn hotel
C- Have me eating processed foods for 9 weeks and expect my body to perform at its peak....
Oh, and the mini fridge, will be shared with my roomie.
Try and fit a week's worth of food into a mini fridge split 2 ways? Great.
Perhaps eating a half raw lifestyle will make this easier. I don't intend on being high raw over there, but I do intend on eating lots of fruits and veggies - when I am not eating nuts (hah) and whatever else I feel like eating... 3 hours of yoga daily is no joke. Along with the business of posture clinics. AKA, Dialogue clinics.
Although yesterday the notion of no more driving to get to yoga class... that's awesome.
Also remembering Vegas and how I had a roomie there (for Conscious Growth Workshop 5) and while she was teh BEST chica ever (holla to Gloria from Dallas/Ft Worth) - I was ready to go home to my own space.
Reality check, Angela - 9 weeks. Not 5 days ;)
I admit, Gloria was the most awesome. She didn't even mind Sasha crashing with us for a night or two... (well come on. The Russian is likable).
Regardless, just getting anxious (as in, one half of me wants training to hurry up and get here) and then the other side of me is like. Oh, good. 6 weeks. I can still get some memorizing done... thank gods there is still 6 weeks!
News is finally trickling out. I'm no longer playing it close to the chest anymore, I am talking about it. Hard not to talk about it at this point. Bikram has my money, did I mention? It's okay, I'll make more money. That and it's on my mind practically 24/7.
One other piece of exciting news: A clothing company in Vancouver (there it is, BC coming up again) has a teacher trainee sponsorship program. Basically they give you free clothes to prance around in, pass out a few cards, and snap a few photos. I AM SO EXCITED!!! I signed up, they're sponsoring me. First off, I just wanted to write that someone is sponsoring me. Something about that feels NEAT! ;)
Second off... the recommended # of sets of clothing for yoga is 11, to bring with you. 11 shorts, 11 bras because I have breasts and it's not appropriate to go without. (ew anyway.) Last thing you want in standing separate leg stretching pose is your knockers giving you a black eye, right? For the record, 11 sets of anything is a lot. And that costs $$$.
I'm pretty well set, although considering buying 1-2 more pairs of shakti shorts......... ($92 for 2 after shipping)......
I have 6 pair that I've amassed, and then I have lower cost other shorts. I will have to do a total count sooner (3 weeks from now) just to be sure. I also fleshed out my sports bras. ANYWAY, http://www.lightactivewear.com/ is the company. And they are (IN THE MAIL NOW) sending me 1 pair of shorts, 1 bra, and 1 tanktop. Normally $150. Cost me $25, shipping.
EXCITING. ;)
Other pieces of minor excitements...
(Since other posts have been panic posts)...
1- I look forward to not wearing any make up for the majority of 9 weeks. I love make up, do not get me wrong. But... jeah.
2- No more stinging eyes in pada-hastana because of make up or the make up remover...
3- Also, I won't be using my standard tinted moisturizer. Hoping to study dialogue outside by the pool in the sun though, if there is time for that! Fingers crossed...
Or studying my dialogue anywhere. I just feel like the expanses of time and focus will be huge compared to at home, even if people say it isn't that plentiful. I am taking advice of a lot of people and trusting 100% in the process.
111%...
Also, going away party/birthday party looks pretty rad!
And Jim's Dad is visiting from the 15-25th or something. He purposely scheduled it so that I could see him before I left - because I was sad I was going to miss it! (He is coming from Lubbock, TX). Barry is one of my favorite people too... Jim told him I was bummed because before he changed his plans around a bit, he was going to JUST miss me. <3
I don't know, my favorite parts of Barry are most of the things that I can see inherently transferred straight to Jim. While he wasn't a full time Dad, mannerisms, attitudes, and otherwise other adorable traits were certainly passed from Barry to Jim. Particularly the cuteness factor. The laughter and positive outlook on life. It's hard not to have fun with Barry. Same with Jim. It is extremely awesome to live with someone who makes things fun.
I also get the feeling that leaving for 9 weeks on a total life changing journey will have me coming back to a stronger relationship somehow. But I can't say for sure. I think he will definitely see what I do while I am home, and perhaps miss that a bit ;) Particularly the big loud mouth chatter bit. Can you imagine living with ME for like 3-4 years, and then all the sudden, 9 weeks of silence? Whoa. I think he moved in with me in 2007... yes. August 1st, 2007 to be exact. His birthday.
Since then, I have been gone for the longest of 2 weeks. ;)
It's gonna be interesting, to say for sure. He has already informed me I will be getting male attention from hot male yogis while I am gone. I've informed him any sexual interest on the road is, as far as I can predict... not high on my list of priorities. (seeing as I'm sorta going away to find myself by choice).
It does make it easier that I'm polyamorous, so if anything should "happen," it's not the end of the World. But it's not really in my brain forefront. I hadn't even thought of it till he brought it up.
*shrugs*
There is one hope. I'm hoping to regain the pre-08 injury confidence I lost by the time I come back. There was a short period in my entire life where I actually had body confidence! It's been a while.
;) No expectations though at this point, or even later on. Mentally preparing for people to be rude and tear down at me in unexpected ways, though. Particularly in posture clinic. But at least I'll eat up the mic time even if they tell me I suck! Hahaha! Fuck you guys! I have the mic! ;) All they want, verbatim dialogue.
Anywho. That's where my brain is right at this moment.
Also a week or so ago a guy I've crushed on for like 3 years asked me out. Bonus.
That same week someone else was mocking me for not being promiscuous enough as a poly person. Um, sorry.
Poly to me does not mean "sleep with anyone that breathes." Ew. I've got standards and priorities, people. Selective, yes. That and at times, a little private about it. (As I write it here in my blog, sheesh). This person was quite possibly trying to get down my pants. The easy way to land on my DNL (do not lay) list, is to tell me how I should be, or to mock my choices at all. I'll be your friend, but good luck getting anything else out of me. If you want a whore, go find someone else, yo. That's not me. ;)
Guess I should end this on some non-poly note... Um...
IT IS SATURDAY! And maybe I should have already gone to yoga this morning. But I didn't yet. If I go to noon, I can still hit a Linda class! Also. My "in class" panics I was having early July have passed. I'm okay with my best that I got and I am realizing... I'll cope with the hotter, more Bikram conditions when I get there. No use ranking on myself about how I suck.... this is Yoga for gods'sake. Do what I can and STFU.
Lastly... I just found another nice-with-great-reviews-yoga-short-website. (How's that for a run on). Looks like I can get some Mika shorts (2 pairs) for $75 including shipping. There are some fold-over ones that look decent and say "great for skinny and bloated days..." Might be great "I'm-bleeding-out-of-my-crotch" day shorts. Always nice to not feel cowish when you're not wearing much in a hot room. Just saying. ;) lol.
-Angela
