Things are better
May. 5th, 2004 09:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakAlright. So here's a brief, but informative update.
Yesterday kicked it. In a good way that is. I got off work, still tired, but I managed. Kelsi was there, and I hung out with Kelsi briefly, then Steve got home. We talked and all that. Steve was acting TOTALLY different around Kelsi. He started flirting with me [honestly doesn't happen that frequently,] and I noticed he was just being different around her. We were getting along like I envision boyfriends and girlfriends getting along. It was out of the ordinary behavior, but none-the-less, not bad.
He pulled out James' hard apple cider that he brewed and drank some, letting us try it. That amused me. He had before then, to me, seemingly avoided drinking it. Of course, a TINY bit of alcohol in his system, and if nothing else, mentally, he loosens up.
We got pizza and had pizza, talked more, blah blah blah. Kelsi is different these days, but the same, all at once. Happy with her group of friends and partying, but controlled enough for me to worry actually, very little. Her method isn't like you'd think a partier would be. Her substance use isn't out of hand, and it seems very much common sense driven, if that can ever make sense.
After Kelsi left, I was going to talk to Steve. But my body demanded the sleep it had been lacking for about 5 days. 9PM, and I was cuddling with Fritz, dropping into a deep sleep. Steve stayed because he thought we'd cuddle, and then left to watch "fight club." I fell asleep and woke off and on, until 6AM when I got up this morning, feeling so much better in so many ways.
I think so much of yesterday and even the night before, was pure sleep deprivation working it's evil ways on me. Everything that could be panicked about, was. All doubts available, surfaced themselves. Suddenly... today, it feels like none of that ever happened, almost as if it was this horrid nightmare. And now I feel silly for posting all worried and stressed, e-mailing my mom, etc etc.
I agree with Lianna’s theory. If I had brain power and time, I’d outline some ideas she’s put forth, but I don’t have either. Brain power yes, time no.
Anyway. It should suffice to say that I am in a much better headspace, either way. Steve told me last night before I conked out that, “he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.”
I said, “oh. Okay.” *conks out to sleep*
He wanted to talk more, I know he did. I *have* to call Rabanco today. Our lawn cannot live without getting mowed ANOTHER day. *sighs* Life, life.
Lianna- in regards to challenges and thriving on a certain level of stress. That’s the case. That’s probably a relatively accurate conjecture.
Anyway. Everyone still on for coffee?
SK: Lunch sometime would rock. Like Thursday or something…. Or not if that doesn’t work for you.
Thank you all for your support. Endless thanks.
-Angela – in much better spirits.
Yesterday kicked it. In a good way that is. I got off work, still tired, but I managed. Kelsi was there, and I hung out with Kelsi briefly, then Steve got home. We talked and all that. Steve was acting TOTALLY different around Kelsi. He started flirting with me [honestly doesn't happen that frequently,] and I noticed he was just being different around her. We were getting along like I envision boyfriends and girlfriends getting along. It was out of the ordinary behavior, but none-the-less, not bad.
He pulled out James' hard apple cider that he brewed and drank some, letting us try it. That amused me. He had before then, to me, seemingly avoided drinking it. Of course, a TINY bit of alcohol in his system, and if nothing else, mentally, he loosens up.
We got pizza and had pizza, talked more, blah blah blah. Kelsi is different these days, but the same, all at once. Happy with her group of friends and partying, but controlled enough for me to worry actually, very little. Her method isn't like you'd think a partier would be. Her substance use isn't out of hand, and it seems very much common sense driven, if that can ever make sense.
After Kelsi left, I was going to talk to Steve. But my body demanded the sleep it had been lacking for about 5 days. 9PM, and I was cuddling with Fritz, dropping into a deep sleep. Steve stayed because he thought we'd cuddle, and then left to watch "fight club." I fell asleep and woke off and on, until 6AM when I got up this morning, feeling so much better in so many ways.
I think so much of yesterday and even the night before, was pure sleep deprivation working it's evil ways on me. Everything that could be panicked about, was. All doubts available, surfaced themselves. Suddenly... today, it feels like none of that ever happened, almost as if it was this horrid nightmare. And now I feel silly for posting all worried and stressed, e-mailing my mom, etc etc.
I agree with Lianna’s theory. If I had brain power and time, I’d outline some ideas she’s put forth, but I don’t have either. Brain power yes, time no.
Anyway. It should suffice to say that I am in a much better headspace, either way. Steve told me last night before I conked out that, “he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.”
I said, “oh. Okay.” *conks out to sleep*
He wanted to talk more, I know he did. I *have* to call Rabanco today. Our lawn cannot live without getting mowed ANOTHER day. *sighs* Life, life.
Lianna- in regards to challenges and thriving on a certain level of stress. That’s the case. That’s probably a relatively accurate conjecture.
Anyway. Everyone still on for coffee?
SK: Lunch sometime would rock. Like Thursday or something…. Or not if that doesn’t work for you.
Thank you all for your support. Endless thanks.
-Angela – in much better spirits.
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Huzzah!
See you at coffee later, and PLEASE try to come up with some things to add to the wishlist, Friday is approaching fast!
Hugs,
Cheryl
Re: Huzzah!
Date: 2004-05-05 02:14 pm (UTC)On Happier Topics:
Fritz DID move in this last weekend, yeay. He's not as tiny, but he's still small. He grew longer and now looks like a Dachshund.
:D
-Angela
Re: Huzzah!
Date: 2004-05-05 02:17 pm (UTC)My goal is to be able to think straight. As for obtaining ideas for Friday? I'll do my best.
As you see, there's still a ton of things on my mind. Including some intense work this week. If I can take a spare moment and a few deep breaths, I will easily be able to add to the list.
-Angela
Re: Huzzah!
At any rate, I can always kid nap you for like five minutes at coffee to set up and review a wishlist.
Hugs,
Cheryl
Re: Huzzah!
Date: 2004-05-05 02:42 pm (UTC)Jeah.
Good thing for coffee Wednesdays.
-Angela
no subject
Date: 2004-05-05 05:00 pm (UTC)Kelsi!
Date: 2004-05-06 07:31 am (UTC)-Karen