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angelakTum-Tum, Bikram’s neice taught today’s morning class. She’s pretty amazing, I enjoyed her quite a bit. My class was tight, as it always is now in the mornings. I feel like my mind was less stubborn towards going all the way into every posture. I was also just still re-calibrating and finding myself within a sea of energy from other people lately. It’s a good thing to work on for me.
I still feel that I had a strong class, and it was a great way to start off my week. I’m a little emotionally tired today. I just want to be a little introspective, introverted today. I want to hang out with my posse and not really be all outright outgoing. And I want to rest my voice and study dialogue. These things are what I want for myself today, and having a sense of these things are important.
After class, the idea of the meal I normally have seemed disgusting. My stomach isn’t interested. I drank so much water and electrolytes, I think it’s just so full of liquid… I had soup, forced the issue for myself, and strawberries, because Karen had some strawberries that need eating before they go bad. Again, I love how our roomie situation is. Enjoying sharing space, sharing everything. Adapting fast to living in a hotel room. It’s really not so bad, especially since I hate being inside my own home anyway – I live the same way in the hotel room too. I stop in for a bit – but most of the time I want to leave. That’s how I am at 874. I’m going to eat an apple at posture clinic because…… I have a bunch and I haven’t eaten them. Sounds gross to be honest. Ew.
Food – really? It’s gross? What the fuck, right? It’s all good. I have to eat or else my evening class will blow. No one wants to suffer through a possibly over 2 hour class, I think Boss is teaching. I hope he says some funny shit to get me through this? Something was seriously fucked with my first set of triangle today. I think I was distracted by the girl next to me fucking with my mat. I get pretty angry at triangle. Why do I look like a freakshow in triangle? Why?
All good. I feel much better after the class than I did during the class. I was very irritable in class. No lies there. But maybe not as much irritable as I did when I gained 20lbs back in 2010 and I used to want to reach out into the mirror choke out my reflection. That hasn't happened yet. I remember that vividly. ;) I can't see that happening here, different set of issues going on these days, right? Every day is new.
Maybe I my sunshine mentality will come back in full force tonight. I really saw my face looking all shitty and angry in the mirror too this morning. Wow. I did not know my lips were so puffy when I get annoyed or sad, or both. I just never saw it before... I took the front row today. Front row is awesome because focus is better and you can actually see things.
After class it felt great to take some time to go back to my old life way back what feels like 20 years ago, and ground and center like old times before and after energy work. I really needed it. It also made me feel closer to myself to do something familiar, something I’ve done for years – another form of energy work. And it made me recall the many rituals I’ve done in my life and how sacred they have been to me. So much you forget, or take for granted. Or maybe a couple of years I’ve been in a daze and just haven’t been true to myself. That’s what I think I’m seeing. Is that crazy? I’ve done a lot of yoga, but this… this is coming out loud and clear. Come back home to my communities when I go back. Don’t let it slide. It’s important. Like - really come "home." Not just to the yoga community - but the ones that carried me through my life directly outside of college too. Wow. Surprises everyday. Truly.
-Angela
I still feel that I had a strong class, and it was a great way to start off my week. I’m a little emotionally tired today. I just want to be a little introspective, introverted today. I want to hang out with my posse and not really be all outright outgoing. And I want to rest my voice and study dialogue. These things are what I want for myself today, and having a sense of these things are important.
After class, the idea of the meal I normally have seemed disgusting. My stomach isn’t interested. I drank so much water and electrolytes, I think it’s just so full of liquid… I had soup, forced the issue for myself, and strawberries, because Karen had some strawberries that need eating before they go bad. Again, I love how our roomie situation is. Enjoying sharing space, sharing everything. Adapting fast to living in a hotel room. It’s really not so bad, especially since I hate being inside my own home anyway – I live the same way in the hotel room too. I stop in for a bit – but most of the time I want to leave. That’s how I am at 874. I’m going to eat an apple at posture clinic because…… I have a bunch and I haven’t eaten them. Sounds gross to be honest. Ew.
Food – really? It’s gross? What the fuck, right? It’s all good. I have to eat or else my evening class will blow. No one wants to suffer through a possibly over 2 hour class, I think Boss is teaching. I hope he says some funny shit to get me through this? Something was seriously fucked with my first set of triangle today. I think I was distracted by the girl next to me fucking with my mat. I get pretty angry at triangle. Why do I look like a freakshow in triangle? Why?
All good. I feel much better after the class than I did during the class. I was very irritable in class. No lies there. But maybe not as much irritable as I did when I gained 20lbs back in 2010 and I used to want to reach out into the mirror choke out my reflection. That hasn't happened yet. I remember that vividly. ;) I can't see that happening here, different set of issues going on these days, right? Every day is new.
Maybe I my sunshine mentality will come back in full force tonight. I really saw my face looking all shitty and angry in the mirror too this morning. Wow. I did not know my lips were so puffy when I get annoyed or sad, or both. I just never saw it before... I took the front row today. Front row is awesome because focus is better and you can actually see things.
After class it felt great to take some time to go back to my old life way back what feels like 20 years ago, and ground and center like old times before and after energy work. I really needed it. It also made me feel closer to myself to do something familiar, something I’ve done for years – another form of energy work. And it made me recall the many rituals I’ve done in my life and how sacred they have been to me. So much you forget, or take for granted. Or maybe a couple of years I’ve been in a daze and just haven’t been true to myself. That’s what I think I’m seeing. Is that crazy? I’ve done a lot of yoga, but this… this is coming out loud and clear. Come back home to my communities when I go back. Don’t let it slide. It’s important. Like - really come "home." Not just to the yoga community - but the ones that carried me through my life directly outside of college too. Wow. Surprises everyday. Truly.
-Angela
