Angela's Self Centered Rambles. Yeay!
Dec. 14th, 2011 09:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakI keep wanting to write 100 Facebook posts, when realizing the real venue I need is LJ. Last week or so, I’ve been evaluating my calf muscles. They seem bigger than I remember. I’m not sure if I like this or not.
Is it from the Yoga? I mean, of course it is. Weird. I thought normally I had runner calves… hmm. Whatever. We rebuild our body every day, slowly. Or else they started getting bigger because I started running again? Confused. Great way to start out my Wednesday morning post, eh? I have so much to write and I haven’t even begun.
I taught 4 classes last week. I loved it. I typically will do 3 a week, but I had a double on Saturday and I have to say, so far, teaching a double is my favorite. Not sure how often I will get an opportunity to do this, but it sure does give me a chance to really get into refinement of a class by my second class. It’s like suddenly I’m really in a groove. Just like practicing yoga, teaching classes – every single class is different. Some days you walk in there and you feel like you rock it. Other days your tongue is tied, your brain feels a little mushy, and you just find a way to lead everyone through to get their yoga, because like it or not, the 90 minutes has begun and you have a (beautiful) job to do.
My best classes happen when I am super happy, not thinking about myself at all, and smile while I am teaching. I remember posture clinics. No one ever told me to smile while I taught – but every time I need to laugh at myself while teaching (I say something ridiculous or the yogis in front of me are either listening to me 100% and I told them something weird, or I just mix up my lefts and rights). Suddenly the energy in the class changes the moment I’m grinning like a loon. It’s not something you can do for 90 minutes, but I definitely learn a lot every day when I’m up there. Every experience is so new to me, I find myself learning and learning and learning.
I used to sweat the clock (ha ha) but I find that no matter what, I tend to finish on time. So I’m a little done worrying about the clock for the moment. It tends to get me to worry… “Am I on time? Am I fast? Am I slow? Am I going to have to stretch out some of this?” And suddenly I think my teaching suffers in that moment.
Friday night, I might experiment more with getting off of the podium for floor series.
Regardless, I’ve been walking on air since the weekend I taught my 4 classes. I’m relaxing. I’m not judging myself. I’m not worrying. I’m feeling strong, and I have faith that no matter what – the class will go on, everyone gets their yoga, and that the words are all up there in my head, and the moment I drop my crown chakra over-activity and move the energy out of my heart instead, everything runs So.Damned.Smooth. This is how it’s meant to be done.
I am also happy that I have had opportunities to actually practice the yoga myself. I think this is also boosting my mood. Without the yoga, I tend to get a little down. I mean more than a few days go by without the yoga, and I’m bummed out.
But I also see that the week I went light on yoga practice, I finally settled in at home, spent some quality time with Jim, and allowed myself to relax a little, decompress – for the first time since I flew home. It’s been a crazy adjustment to go back home, to be a normal person again. I thought I hadn’t learned any lessons from TT. But I realize maybe that was a little excessive. I’m different, but not entirely.
I really feel like now, I am really learning the most. But I can’t lie. Their damn process works. The whole TT process has some sort of formula magick and yes – the words are somehow cemented into my brain. Maybe not perfect, but they are there, and I know I enjoy the project of continual refinement.
Today and yesterday the words were just floating in fragments around in my head. Silent moments in my day, and I’d be hearing myself saying the dialogue in my head. Very weird. Very first-time experience for me. I normally don’t hear myself talking. Now I’m sounding nuts, but that’s what teaching Bikram Yoga does to you… you lose your fucking mind. ;)
And when you find it again, there is a 26 track recording of yourself buried inside.
My favorite part of class is the beginning, and the end, and maybe even the middle teaching ;).
No, the beginning I have some serious verbatim dialogue going on. That feels good, it makes me feel strong. Breathing exercise is coming along. I only like demonstrating it :P I decided my signature is to demo is for every new student. Why? Because I’m Miss PranaFuckingYama. Yes. That’s right. It’s the one “posture” that I look like the final expression – in. I hope this doesn’t intimidate students, that they don’t have crazy shoulder flexibility and can’t get their forearms to touch their cheeks… but at least they know what they’re going for, yeah?
Who knew I’d actually look like the final expression in anything with the yoga… I’m just a regular yogini, an everyday girl. Not like some of those rockstars I saw in training, yo. But I’m not all about ego on it. I just wanna get my health benefits, and go home – jeh!!!
I am looking forward to our Holiday party this weekend with the yoga studio staff. How awesome. People can actually socialize. It’s harder to really relax and socialize at the studio sometimes.
Hmm. There’s been a lot I wanted to write, and now a lot of it has drifted away. Needless to say, I am teaching a few classes this week, a few next week, and then I’m actually kind of sad I only teach one class for the last week in the year. How will I go without teaching more than one in a week????
;)
Not sure what January’s schedule is. All good. I look forward to this holiday, spending it with friends and family. I need to get on my holiday gifting. Nothing obscene and over materialistic, but still.
I’ve been so teaching-centric that actually doing THESE sort of errands = had been out of my mind. Oops.
I hope these one liners I’ve been trying to stuff into my head for certain poses decide to come out on Thursday… and that I don’t say “… one more time” or any of the redundant lines too many times. Hmmm!
One more INCH works better. I like that one. COME UP ONE MORE INCH! I think the ones I will study today are
Triangle, Tree, and Locust. And maybe the head to knee with stretching…… I always get a little distracted in that one. Not sure why. I start freaking out about which side they are turning in towards… “is that their left? My left? Their right? Which fucking side are they going to turn in to!??!?!” THIS IS COMPRESSION POSTURE NOT A STRETCHING POSE!!!!!!!! Lol. Yeah.
Also happy my wrist is feeling better – and my left knee is a lil less cranky. It was cranky briefly (in a not tendon sort of way, so a new thing) last week. Now it is at least letting me get into tree pose on the left side. There was a brief 2 days where bending my left knee was giving me a “Don’t fucking do it, Angela” cue. I hate that. I’ve learned to listen to myself too. So sitting cross legged works again. Which is better to do if I choose to sit on the podium for floor series because I can’t move my legs and distract students. Yes, all of this shit. Constant pieces of “behave, teacher.” ;)
As for my wrist. I made it through training with no real ouchies. Came home, 2 days at home, I sleep on my wrist funny and hurt it. I was upset because it was delaying my opportunity to start circuit training and getting my push ups and weights in! Now I have no excuse, I think my wrist is ready to bear weight again. Now I just have to be ready to be totally sore, from head to toe, from a CT session. And to accept how few pushups my arms have in me after turning into a yogini with yoga arms…. Blah! Anyway. Enough about my self centered post here. I gotta go do my work.
-Angela
Is it from the Yoga? I mean, of course it is. Weird. I thought normally I had runner calves… hmm. Whatever. We rebuild our body every day, slowly. Or else they started getting bigger because I started running again? Confused. Great way to start out my Wednesday morning post, eh? I have so much to write and I haven’t even begun.
I taught 4 classes last week. I loved it. I typically will do 3 a week, but I had a double on Saturday and I have to say, so far, teaching a double is my favorite. Not sure how often I will get an opportunity to do this, but it sure does give me a chance to really get into refinement of a class by my second class. It’s like suddenly I’m really in a groove. Just like practicing yoga, teaching classes – every single class is different. Some days you walk in there and you feel like you rock it. Other days your tongue is tied, your brain feels a little mushy, and you just find a way to lead everyone through to get their yoga, because like it or not, the 90 minutes has begun and you have a (beautiful) job to do.
My best classes happen when I am super happy, not thinking about myself at all, and smile while I am teaching. I remember posture clinics. No one ever told me to smile while I taught – but every time I need to laugh at myself while teaching (I say something ridiculous or the yogis in front of me are either listening to me 100% and I told them something weird, or I just mix up my lefts and rights). Suddenly the energy in the class changes the moment I’m grinning like a loon. It’s not something you can do for 90 minutes, but I definitely learn a lot every day when I’m up there. Every experience is so new to me, I find myself learning and learning and learning.
I used to sweat the clock (ha ha) but I find that no matter what, I tend to finish on time. So I’m a little done worrying about the clock for the moment. It tends to get me to worry… “Am I on time? Am I fast? Am I slow? Am I going to have to stretch out some of this?” And suddenly I think my teaching suffers in that moment.
Friday night, I might experiment more with getting off of the podium for floor series.
Regardless, I’ve been walking on air since the weekend I taught my 4 classes. I’m relaxing. I’m not judging myself. I’m not worrying. I’m feeling strong, and I have faith that no matter what – the class will go on, everyone gets their yoga, and that the words are all up there in my head, and the moment I drop my crown chakra over-activity and move the energy out of my heart instead, everything runs So.Damned.Smooth. This is how it’s meant to be done.
I am also happy that I have had opportunities to actually practice the yoga myself. I think this is also boosting my mood. Without the yoga, I tend to get a little down. I mean more than a few days go by without the yoga, and I’m bummed out.
But I also see that the week I went light on yoga practice, I finally settled in at home, spent some quality time with Jim, and allowed myself to relax a little, decompress – for the first time since I flew home. It’s been a crazy adjustment to go back home, to be a normal person again. I thought I hadn’t learned any lessons from TT. But I realize maybe that was a little excessive. I’m different, but not entirely.
I really feel like now, I am really learning the most. But I can’t lie. Their damn process works. The whole TT process has some sort of formula magick and yes – the words are somehow cemented into my brain. Maybe not perfect, but they are there, and I know I enjoy the project of continual refinement.
Today and yesterday the words were just floating in fragments around in my head. Silent moments in my day, and I’d be hearing myself saying the dialogue in my head. Very weird. Very first-time experience for me. I normally don’t hear myself talking. Now I’m sounding nuts, but that’s what teaching Bikram Yoga does to you… you lose your fucking mind. ;)
And when you find it again, there is a 26 track recording of yourself buried inside.
My favorite part of class is the beginning, and the end, and maybe even the middle teaching ;).
No, the beginning I have some serious verbatim dialogue going on. That feels good, it makes me feel strong. Breathing exercise is coming along. I only like demonstrating it :P I decided my signature is to demo is for every new student. Why? Because I’m Miss PranaFuckingYama. Yes. That’s right. It’s the one “posture” that I look like the final expression – in. I hope this doesn’t intimidate students, that they don’t have crazy shoulder flexibility and can’t get their forearms to touch their cheeks… but at least they know what they’re going for, yeah?
Who knew I’d actually look like the final expression in anything with the yoga… I’m just a regular yogini, an everyday girl. Not like some of those rockstars I saw in training, yo. But I’m not all about ego on it. I just wanna get my health benefits, and go home – jeh!!!
I am looking forward to our Holiday party this weekend with the yoga studio staff. How awesome. People can actually socialize. It’s harder to really relax and socialize at the studio sometimes.
Hmm. There’s been a lot I wanted to write, and now a lot of it has drifted away. Needless to say, I am teaching a few classes this week, a few next week, and then I’m actually kind of sad I only teach one class for the last week in the year. How will I go without teaching more than one in a week????
;)
Not sure what January’s schedule is. All good. I look forward to this holiday, spending it with friends and family. I need to get on my holiday gifting. Nothing obscene and over materialistic, but still.
I’ve been so teaching-centric that actually doing THESE sort of errands = had been out of my mind. Oops.
I hope these one liners I’ve been trying to stuff into my head for certain poses decide to come out on Thursday… and that I don’t say “… one more time” or any of the redundant lines too many times. Hmmm!
One more INCH works better. I like that one. COME UP ONE MORE INCH! I think the ones I will study today are
Triangle, Tree, and Locust. And maybe the head to knee with stretching…… I always get a little distracted in that one. Not sure why. I start freaking out about which side they are turning in towards… “is that their left? My left? Their right? Which fucking side are they going to turn in to!??!?!” THIS IS COMPRESSION POSTURE NOT A STRETCHING POSE!!!!!!!! Lol. Yeah.
Also happy my wrist is feeling better – and my left knee is a lil less cranky. It was cranky briefly (in a not tendon sort of way, so a new thing) last week. Now it is at least letting me get into tree pose on the left side. There was a brief 2 days where bending my left knee was giving me a “Don’t fucking do it, Angela” cue. I hate that. I’ve learned to listen to myself too. So sitting cross legged works again. Which is better to do if I choose to sit on the podium for floor series because I can’t move my legs and distract students. Yes, all of this shit. Constant pieces of “behave, teacher.” ;)
As for my wrist. I made it through training with no real ouchies. Came home, 2 days at home, I sleep on my wrist funny and hurt it. I was upset because it was delaying my opportunity to start circuit training and getting my push ups and weights in! Now I have no excuse, I think my wrist is ready to bear weight again. Now I just have to be ready to be totally sore, from head to toe, from a CT session. And to accept how few pushups my arms have in me after turning into a yogini with yoga arms…. Blah! Anyway. Enough about my self centered post here. I gotta go do my work.
-Angela
Wow!!!
Date: 2011-12-21 02:56 pm (UTC)I just hate seeing people so down (like two posts ago :-/)
Happy Holidays and enjoy!
Simmm
Re: Wow!!!
Date: 2011-12-21 06:46 pm (UTC)-Angela