Bleh

[angelak]

Alright. Brief update.

Sean ciall intensive. Awesome. I am excited to have figured out my strong point. Cheryl's are all really obvious. I am proud to stay that perhaps my strength is strong energic stamina. Yeay to realize a good thing.

Um. Next. London Bridges. Fun. Melding Conciousness. Fun. Grounding WAS harder. But I knew that immediately and therefore focused it on damned near immediately. I felt a definite difference.

I as well, wonder what my limits are. Cheryl seems to think this is a crazy gesture. I think it's natural. We all want to know how far we can push the line. This is no question. I think we'll find out. At least, I intend to.

Umm.. More?

TOUGH day:


SNIP from an e-mail>

So, we drove to Olympia to visit Steve's not-so-well grandma in the hospital, as she experienced kidney failure, among some other complications. [We found this out Friday night...Steve was actually pretty torn. And he is a DAMNED good projector!!!] [it means I felt it pretty strongly too.]

We were able to see her for 2-3 hours today, and although she was barely wakeful or coherant as she drifted in and out of sleep, I was very glad they were able to see each other one last time. Though, as time can tend to do in a nasty hospital room... it draaagggged.

About an hour after we departed from her hospital room, she died.

So, needless to say it's been a tough day! And the fact that of course, before she died, the entire family seemed to be FIGHTING over how to handle the medical choices. Too bad people cannot just support each other in such times. Instead they feel much better becoming angry at each other and fighting. *shrugs* As I agreed with Steve's aunt... death is a part of life. But apparently the whole family didn't see that.

That's okay. I was very wakeful and coherant today. I am still wide awake...
/snip>

So jeah. Shitty.

Anyway. Today will soon be over. bedtime.

-Angela

Comments

oopsie kinda ramblng!

[kdana.livejournal.com]

The testing limits thing... that doesnt sound crazy to me either. Sadly I havent even done enough energy work to even feel like a camel/overcooked noodle/etc... cause while those after-effects seem kinda sucky, it means you actually did MORE than what you're used to.. which is great.. like, how people are in pain after working out for the first few times... but they FEEL GOOD about that pain cause well, that means they did something!

Anyway - as for his grandmother... Im sorry.. it's hard..I hope they all can stop arguing... grieve.. pay their respects to her... and... yeah.
My grandmother likes to be like "Are you coming to my funeral?" and all this stuff.. and it makes me sad, but she seems kind of like... EXCITED... cause she's sick of being in pain all the time and hardly being able to do anything.

[cupiecake.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

[netharos.livejournal.com]

Sounds a lot like how my mother's family behaved when my grandmother died. It's great that Steve got to be there for her before she passed on though, and you for both of them.

Maybe

[dragonfaery93.livejournal.com]

Maybe, LETS STALK BOOBY and be like, lets have a day of, "how low can you go" and see what Angela's and my limits are!
I wonder what happens when you hit your limit, each time I have been shaking or some such from energy work, I KNOW I can so totally keep pushing myself and survive just fine. But what if one or both of us hit our limit... *curious*

Re: Maybe

[ithisia.livejournal.com]

Cheryl. My advice on this is that Bobby is already planning on going that direction sooner or later, when both of us are ready for such. Step back. We're already going to be working on invokation stronger. You cannot have it all at once, and time of essence. No haste. I am curious and I understand your curiosity. But you need to step back and realize: we can only do so much and only learn so much at once. Don't go overboard! We'll get there. I have no doubt that Bobby will send us that direction. But you're being like a 5 year old, who wants to do 5th grade work. It's GREAT... but, also not a smart idea if you're not ready for it. We can mention we're curious eventually, but I am pretty sure he's going to tell us much of what I am thinking here. Or I could be wrong...

-Angela

Re: Maybe

[dragonfaery93.livejournal.com]

And this is probably yet another reason why we work together. I am always wanting to jump foward and leap off the cliff without so much a second thought. Sometimes useful, sometimes not. And occationally I'll actually look before I leap, I just tend to be more of a leap-then-look person.

I don't see that time is of the essence, I think just by putting the idea out there, it will eventually happen. Yes, there is no rush.

I am mainly curious as to the SYMPTOMS of being completely fried. Do you fall asleep as soon as you get near the ground, do you pass out, do you just find yourself unable to do anymore... See, I am of the belief that your solarplexis chakra generates unlimited amounts of energy; sometimes you just need to wait a bit for your "energy bank" to get refilled enough to have a workable amount of energy avaliable. BUT on that same note, you can always just pull more energy from the earth, stars, sun, etc. So I am now thinking, that your energic max is in fact just when your physical limits were reached. (Further explanation: if your body craps out and your body is what you are using to chanel the energy, you're down for a the count.) Close Metaphor: You run so much, that your legs burn and give out, BUT your brain is still ticking away about how to run, and what to do to get where you need to.
Perhaps that is why often times I'll feel that I was not doing diddly, but I get all shakey. My physical body is not used to pulling that much energy, but energically the amount of energy is within my healthy working range. I am thinking that "psychic weight lifting" would help with that one, huzzah for practice as well as trial and error.
So now the question is raised, "Can you max out your ENERGIC body?" I don't think you can personally, but you can always get pretty damn close. Like, cutting something in half all the time. You may get down to an amount that us unmeasurable(splitting protons), but there is still SOME miniscule amount left.