Last day off in my vacation circuit
Dec. 29th, 2009 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelakFeeling pretty awesome again today. Came in to the office and have been catching up on email and the general "I've been out for a week or so," feeling. Oddly feeling energized about where I'm at for the moment. Much acceptance of what is happening to me right Now.
Been really getting into "The Power of Now," by Eckhart Tolle. Just like the "Personal Development for Smart people," book by Steve Pavlina, (weird, but now I'm actually friends with Steve Pavlina IRLish)...
The book is taking me a while to read. I have been finding that with information and transformational-type rich literature, I am in no rush to finish and I tend to absorb things pretty heavily.
Last night was a great night. I went to breakfast with Jim in the AM before he went to bed, I didn't go to Yoga like I thought I would - but I did meet Jon for coffee. We hung out for a while at the coffee shop where the barista dude apparently recognized me. (I GET THIS EVERYWHERE I GO). This guy apparently remembered me from Junior High - the 1 year he was at my junior high. It really threw me off, he used my first name and he actually asked Jon about me before I showed up. Weird. I didn't really remember this guy at all.......
People remember me. Even the people who don't know me, seriously.
After coffee we went for a nice long walk in Redmond and eventually got hungry, grabbed some food, and then headed back to 874.
Spent a great evening with the 2 guys while Jim played video games. Was very relaxing. Read the Eckhart Tolle book slowly. Trying to digest a lot of it, but it seems it is high lighting everything I seemed to have learned the hard way between April 2008-Present.
Ouch, it hurts my brain. Would I have accepted it the same way if I hadn't discovered this stuff on my own? Not sure. Irrelevance. It is timely to read this book because it is actually helping me see the light beyond the darkness that was the sadness of my brother being at odds with me. Not sure what's the deal over in his universe, but I know I'm going to live my life right Now. The hurt and the pain is just resistance to what Is. What Is, is. I'm workin hard at being Present to myself, and not so much using the feelings and emotion as a piece of my identity. My past and future have nothing to do with me right Now. As I sit here, right Now, I'm about ready to head out to take care of some work. Nothing feels bad about that. There are no problems in this present moment. Music, a warm building, sunlight shining through the windows, mountains and trees all around the surrounding areas. Looking back at what happened last week has no impact on what I am feeling in this acute moment. Every folly of a statement is what it is. Taking on the mistakes and trials as part of me is unnecessary... what is necessary is to try and take myself out of psychological time, and into "clock" time. Exploring what that means and how I can make it best work for my life. I think this sort of transformation in my own thinking may help me with my journey through 2010. I'll be doing a write up eventually of my most personal goals, hopefully when I get a spare moment today. But these goals will have no real pressure - because they will only happen in the Now. You cannot touch the future, you cannot be in the past. The past is a reflection of a prior Now. The future is an imagined Now.
Anyway, until next time.
-Angela
Been really getting into "The Power of Now," by Eckhart Tolle. Just like the "Personal Development for Smart people," book by Steve Pavlina, (weird, but now I'm actually friends with Steve Pavlina IRLish)...
The book is taking me a while to read. I have been finding that with information and transformational-type rich literature, I am in no rush to finish and I tend to absorb things pretty heavily.
Last night was a great night. I went to breakfast with Jim in the AM before he went to bed, I didn't go to Yoga like I thought I would - but I did meet Jon for coffee. We hung out for a while at the coffee shop where the barista dude apparently recognized me. (I GET THIS EVERYWHERE I GO). This guy apparently remembered me from Junior High - the 1 year he was at my junior high. It really threw me off, he used my first name and he actually asked Jon about me before I showed up. Weird. I didn't really remember this guy at all.......
People remember me. Even the people who don't know me, seriously.
After coffee we went for a nice long walk in Redmond and eventually got hungry, grabbed some food, and then headed back to 874.
Spent a great evening with the 2 guys while Jim played video games. Was very relaxing. Read the Eckhart Tolle book slowly. Trying to digest a lot of it, but it seems it is high lighting everything I seemed to have learned the hard way between April 2008-Present.
Ouch, it hurts my brain. Would I have accepted it the same way if I hadn't discovered this stuff on my own? Not sure. Irrelevance. It is timely to read this book because it is actually helping me see the light beyond the darkness that was the sadness of my brother being at odds with me. Not sure what's the deal over in his universe, but I know I'm going to live my life right Now. The hurt and the pain is just resistance to what Is. What Is, is. I'm workin hard at being Present to myself, and not so much using the feelings and emotion as a piece of my identity. My past and future have nothing to do with me right Now. As I sit here, right Now, I'm about ready to head out to take care of some work. Nothing feels bad about that. There are no problems in this present moment. Music, a warm building, sunlight shining through the windows, mountains and trees all around the surrounding areas. Looking back at what happened last week has no impact on what I am feeling in this acute moment. Every folly of a statement is what it is. Taking on the mistakes and trials as part of me is unnecessary... what is necessary is to try and take myself out of psychological time, and into "clock" time. Exploring what that means and how I can make it best work for my life. I think this sort of transformation in my own thinking may help me with my journey through 2010. I'll be doing a write up eventually of my most personal goals, hopefully when I get a spare moment today. But these goals will have no real pressure - because they will only happen in the Now. You cannot touch the future, you cannot be in the past. The past is a reflection of a prior Now. The future is an imagined Now.
Anyway, until next time.
-Angela
